Skip to main content

The Waitrose healthy food police and Amber Rudd's L K Bennett heels

"The next time you're at the checkout and you hear the beep (bip-bip) think of the fun you could be having on Supermarket Sweep."

Good old Dale Winton and there could be no better time to quote the Supermarket Sweep legend, now sadly departed, than today, as we arrive here at the supermarket. Grab a trolley - no not that one, it's got a shonky wheel - and let's get browsing the aisles.

The reason this reporter has brought you here is because she wants to chat with you about Waitrose's plan to install 'health food police' on its shop floor.

The well-to-do supermarket chain is training up some of its sales assistants as we speak, to linger in the aisles and encourage customers to ditch the junk food and make healthier food choices instead. The drive will be rolled out across dozens of stores this year and comes after a Waitrose survey found half of shoppers did not feel they had time to focus on their health.

Waitrose has reassured that its healthy food experts will only dish out advice to customers who ask for it but this reporter already has visions of these 'experts' staking out the crisp aisle and tutting rather loudly as a customer loads a bumper pack of Walkers into their basket.

Speaking of shopping, this leads us nicely to a discussion on the latest 'completely disconnected with anything that real-life has to offer' (must think of a snappier title) statement from our glorious MPs, in the form of Home Secretary Amber Rudd's comparison of the online EU registration system to shopping at LK Bennett.

Now this reporter doesn't wish to be presumptuous but she is quite sure that the luxury high street shoe and clothing chain, frequented by the likes of Kate Middleton and Theresa May, is not quite on the radar of those EU nationals seeking to remain in the UK after Brexit. Indeed the store is probably not in the lexicon of everyday use of the majority of people who have lived in the UK all their lives.

It is akin to when a few years back David Cameron, as Prime Minister, was asked by a young boy what the inside of the House of Commons looked like and he replied it was a bit like a school. Right on the money when it comes to reference points we all sighed.

Ms Rudd's gaff is no different. Indeed campaign organisation, The 3 Million, which represents EU citizens living in the UK said they had to Google L K Bennett, and also quite rightly accused Ms Rudd of trivialising the application process.

Because it would not be a huge leap of association to worry that the current scandal over the citizenship of the Windrush generation could rear its ugly head again in 50 years time from now when it comes to the legality of former EU citizens being allowed to remain in Britain.

Ms Rudd and Theresa May have made much noise this week about 'allowing' people whose origins lie in Commonwealth countries to be fast tracked through the registration process without having to pay the fees or pass the British citizenship test, but as MP David Lammy has quite rightly pointed out, this act on the part of May and Rudd to look like they are benevolently exercising compassion towards these people is flawed on so many levels.

From the fact that the Windrush generation were declared British citizens as soon as they were invited here under the 1948 British Nationality Act and so are now having to reclaim their rights rather than gain them, to the reality that these people have lived and worked in Britain longer than many of us have been alive and so if it comes down to claiming Britishness, they are arguably more British than a whole portion of the British-born population.

There is a distinct whiff of condescension in the air today don't you think, on all fronts?

This reporter suggests it only fitting to purchase a pair of L K Bennett stiletto heels, in the name of research. But tread carefully at the online checkout. You may find that whilst the purchase goes through with ease in the here and now, you may get a knock on the door in 50 years time asking you to give those high heels back - no matter how much you argue they are rightfully yours.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life on Mars, "gangster" Peppa Pig and the Loewe dinosaur trainers

So it turns out Button Moon was a lie.

This reporter is of course referring to the 1980's children's TV show, which followed Mr Spoon and his family of fellow kitchen utensils, as they day-tripped off to Button Moon in a junk model space rocket.

There the family would enjoy all manner of adventures before returning back to earth in time for tea. Mr Spoon made space travel look a sinch. It transpires space travel is not a sinch.

NASA, alongside the European Space Agency, is planning to bring Martian rocks back to earth to see whether the planet is inhabited by aliens. However, this daring mission is not a simple matter of astronauts rocketing up to Mars, picking up a few rocks in their space buckets, and returning back to earth that same afternoon.

As it turns out, the whole venture is going to be something of a palaver on the basis we are not, as yet, able to land a rocket on another planet and then take back off again. This means bringing the rocks home will take at least thr…

Hawaiian shirts, "gammons" and the crack at the Home Office

Aloha. You find this reporter lying back on a sun lounger, pina colada in hand, to announce the latest fashion trend for men, the Hawaiian shirt.

Formally the mainstay of the 'zany dad' and Tom Selleck as Magnum PI, the Hawaiian shirt looks ready to bedeck the most trendy of backs - and fronts - across the fashion hemisphere this summer, with Prada leading the charge. The most desirable of fashion houses has launched an exclusive collection of Hawaiian shirts for Mr Porter, the male arm of Net-a-Porter.

And the feeling on the street is, Britain's most fashionable men are ready to embrace something a little more vivacious and adventurous this season. The 'fun' trend is already rolling out to the high street with All Saints stocking their own versions. Back at the high end, Stella McCartney and Burberry have designed their own bold printed shirts with 'jolly motifs'.

Just don't get too complacent over this new fashion staple and pair it with loose fitting…

The Hugh Grant Interview, appetite suppressing lollipops and the Jacquemus straw hat

"No more rom-coms for me" declares Hugh Grant. This reporter caught up with, arguably, the king of rom-com Mr Grant recently to find out more. Dim the lights, crank up the music player. Three, two, one...

"Fame, I'm gonna live forever..."

Good evening and welcome to Fame, the celebrity spotlight televisual programme, presented by none other than This Reporter. As you can see (!) we have moved to a brand new studio following last week's furore with Oasis legend Noel Gallagher.

This reporter recognises this new studio does not hold quite so much of the glamour, the pizazz, the je ne sais quoi of the former studio. Indeed it looks a little like someones disused box room, but the move was deemed necessary due to the threat of 'cataclysmic retribution'.

On with the show, and tonight's guest is a much-loved British actor, as famed for his floppy hair and endearing upper class hesitance, as his back catalogue of romantic comedic excellence. Starring in…

Rudd's resignation, Trump's visit and Kat Von D's indestructible eyeliner

You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I'm telling you why. Donald Trump is coming to town.

More about that later. First, some serious news. (This reporter puts on her most sensible of news reading glasses). The Guardian reports today (Monday) that Amber Rudd has "dramatically" resigned as home secretary after "repeatedly struggling to account for her role in the unjust treatment of Windrush generation migrants."

The documenter of our times continues: "The home secretary was forced to step down after a series of revelations in the Guardian over Windrush culminated in a leak on Friday that appeared to show she was aware of targets for removing illegal migrants from Britain.

"The pressure increased late on Sunday afternoon as the Guardian revealed that in a leaked 2017 letter to Theresa May, Rudd had told the Prime Minister of her intention to increase deportations by 10 per cent - seemingly at odds with her recent denials that she w…

This week's must-have purchase - the wedding jumpsuit

This reporter declares we have reached peak wedding obsession.

With the realisation that in a few weeks time we will no longer be able to speculate over the finite details of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's wedding, because it will be done and dusted, it appears the media is already trying to move our focus onto another potential wedding extravaganza - the nuptials of three-year-old Princess Charlotte.

The Evening Standard newspaper ran an article alluding to just that. With no sense of irony, it discussed the fact that whilst Charlotte is undeniably a Princess and fourth in line to the throne, when she marries (note the "when", not if) and has children, they will be unlikely to have titles.

The newspaper goes on to explain that there are only two ways to become a British princess. You either need to be born the daughter of a prince or you have to marry one.

But this reporter is still stuck several sentences back, struggling to come to terms with the assumption Princess…