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A Continental Knock and Run and "Timeless" Beige

FROM breakout filmic hits "The Great Chimp Escape" and "A Continental Knock and Run Part 436", to the surprising allure of "timeless" beige, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

"Is this hell Prime Minister?" cries a heckler as Theresa May meets with Jean-Claude Juncker. Even before "that" happened, it was always going to be a tricky meeting between Mrs May and EU chiefs in Brussels, as the PM trudged fruitlessly forwards in yet another bid to get them to agree to solve the Irish Backstop problem for her. And all to allegedly appease those back at home in Government, who are getting far too much enjoyment out of egging on their weakest classmate to repeatedly "knock and run" the front door, of a renownedly fearsome neighbour. Zilch, as always, was resolved.
"Give me a little more time", pleaded Mrs May as MPs began to fret over when they would get to have their "meaningful vote" i…
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A Full Lashed Brexit Compromise, the Magnum-only Diet and Boiler Suits

FROM a Brexit Backstop compromise guaranteeing full fluttering lashes and the Magnum-only diet, to the post-Brexit fashion must-have, the boiler suit, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

We commence with gutting news for MPs, as it was announced this week the Commons recess, due to begin on 14th February, would be cancelled to allow more time to sort out Brexit. Concerns were naturally aired over child care - not for MPs; but their children (it coincides with school half-term holidays) - but the real "heart breaker" is for the medley of members who had booked their annual skiing holiday, in Europe presumably. Let's pause a moment in our communications to allow the irony truck to pass on by...
Word has it, some MPs still intend to go on their holidays. Not Chris Grayling, banned from Calais, for yet again exercising the IQ level of a broad bean, by failing to let Port Chief Jean-Marc Puissesseau know of his plans to divert boats to other ports i…

Life is a Brexit Waltzer - You Just Gotta Ride It?

WHEN it comes to rip-offs we are being urged this week to look no further than Prada's white cotton T-shirt, retailing for £270. This Reporter states this does rather, in her opinion, overlook a more glaring and ever present rip-off in our lives, which we will look at more thoroughly in due course.
But back to the T-shirt, and words have been voiced over why any right thinking human would purchase the extortionately priced Prada T-shirt when there are all manner of identical alternatives available on the high street?
"You get what you pay for" is the mantra from fashion disciples. However, in that case surely we can expect no less than the whole cast of Enid Blyton's magical Faraway Tree involved in the workmanship, weaving well-being and fortitude into every seam.
The perfect antidote to the sweatshop. But then we are told over at Primark you can buy a pair of socks and come away with a free human bone. Admittedly that wasn't the original Primark marketing strat…

Russell Brand's "World View" and the Continuous Brexit Loop and the Continuous Brexit Loop...

COMEDIAN Russell Brand's interview with the Sunday Times has got the country in a tailspin. The gist concerns Mr Brand's "world view" - as he puts it - of being a "sensitive, awake and aware man", clashing, quite considerably, with his responsibilities as a father. To the point, he shamelessly conceded, he'd barely looked after his own children alone in any given 24 hour period.
To quote: "I'm very, very focused on the mythical connotations of Mabel's beauty and grace. Not so good on the nappies and making sure they eat food. When I looked after Mabel on her own, she dropped two social classes."
Mr Brand appears to seek praise for his decision to opt out of parenthood's contractual obligations as though he is akin to a bad driver taking himself off the road (#PrincePhilip). But for those considerate people, there is the train.  For Mr Brand, there's ending up looking a berk.
Sixty-four days to go until we leave the European Uni…

Theresa May's "10 Year Challenge" and Prince Philip Over-Eggs the Metaphor

"TIME is not something I acknowledge", said pop diva Mariah Carey on refusing to play ball on the "10 year challenge", posting two identical photographs of herself in a bikini taken ten seconds rather than ten years apart.
The concept of time is not something Ms Carey is afraid of. She is not freaked out by the ticking of the clock. She is simply impervious to it. It has no meaning. It does not exist. This is where the similarities between her and Theresa May, the Prime Minister, begin, and end.
Sixty-seven days to go until we Brexit. Mrs May is back after surviving yet another no confidence vote by an untriumphant, by nonetheless secure, 19 votes, and immediately launches into "cross party talks". Inviting all major party leaders to "put self-interest aside" and discuss a united way forward to break the Brexit deadlock. It is at this early point in proceedings, she comes unstuck.
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, who famously said "it's goo…