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Bum bags, Freddos and the French ads banned for mocking Brexit

In her sporadic style column for the Sunday Times, journalist, author and all-round smasher of a person, Caitlin Moran applauds the return of the 90's "rave accoutrement" - the bum bag.

She exclaims that this new bag trend, which has been updated for the new millennium as a fancy "magic belt" to store all your stuff in, is the perfect antidote to "bag shoulder", the ailment that hits all women in their thirties after years suspending their belongings from a strap across one shoulder.

Ms Moran recounts a potentially made-up, but nonetheless factually correct, conversation with her doctor, who she turns to for some "industrial-strength opiates" to ease the "twingy back" brought on by carrying her bag around in the aforementioned manner - only to be told that one of her shoulders is three inches higher than the other.

The doctor informs her that actually despite the fact she is a woman, she has not been provided with special "handbag shoulder strength" and that, flying in the face of everything we have ever been told about anything, a handbag can be bad for a woman.

Ms Moran is advised to get a rucksack to spread the load more evenly, however, Ms Moran quite  rightly points out, we now have another load spreading option - the bum bag.

This reporter concurs. This new/old trend has just the edge over the rucksack, which we know is coming for all of us just like face framing layers, comfy shoes, and boot leg trousers. But there is something more comforting, more secure, about carrying all your belongings around on your middle, like having a pouch to carry your Joey in.

There are two potential bum bags here - the Isabel Marant Noomi metallic shell belt bag is your old-school, traditional bum bag or alternatively there is the See by Chloe Kriss embellished leather belt bag which is your more modern take.

This reporter can gleefully report that Freddo bars are cheaper again. Following outrage from consumers that the chocolate treat had risen in price by an astonishing 200 per cent since 2000 - from 10p to 30p - Cadbury has dropped the price, to 25p.

The chocolate makers insist this price drop has not affected the product's ingredients or size. Chocolate fans reached peak outrage for "shrinkage" last year, if you recall, after Toblerone changed beyond all recognition when a new version appeared with far greater space between the triangles. The reduction was blamed on the slump in the value of the pound because of Brexit.

Talking of which, adverts aimed at luring British businesses to France after Brexit have been banned from the London Underground. Transport for London has refused to run any of the posters which come as part of a French advertising campaign, as they could be perceived to inflame "public controversy or sensitivity". Basically, they poke fun at Brexit.

The posters, made out to look like fake newspaper headlines, urge entrepreneurs worried about the UK's withdrawal from the European Union to "vote with their feet" and come to France instead. The mock newspaper also features a pretend lonely hearts ad, which reads: "Hot entrepreneur wanted...someone allergic to post-Brexit tariffs, legislation and restrictions preferred".

The adverts will still run in national newspapers and on buses (naturally). And who can blame any business for taking up France's offer. With only months left before the Brexit departure date and still no clear business policy set out by the UK government, we can only cheerily wave off any businesses choosing to pack their passports, and a couple of Freddos, into their bum bags and seek their fortune over the Channel.

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