Skip to main content

Laundrettes, Brexit Beano and the Valentino throw-back mini dress

"You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby round round round round."

Oh hello there. I'll just turn the radio down. I'm at the laundrette, washing my clothes. Because we're all going to be doing this soon. Using laundrettes that is. They are popping back up everywhere. Perhaps not so much this side of the M25 but nevertheless, this is the future when it comes to washing, according to those in the fashion know.

Not perhaps as we once knew it. Carrier bags full of dirty washing self-consciously flung into big bellied washers, Dot Cotton-esque laundry assistants greeting you with a box of cheap soap suds, fag hanging out of mouth. It's all gone just that little bit chicer.

Hermes have launched a Hermesmatic laundrette service complete with bright orange, Instagrammable, machines specially to launder and service their Hermes silk scarves. Other brands are following suit, with the denim brand American Eagle opening a concept store and free laundry service near New York University for students to bring their washing to and have a beer whilst they wait.

The Japanese laundrette chain Wash and Fold offers a machine specially to wash trainers whilst Powder Laundry in Australia is millennial pink and coin free, washers operated via an app.

There is a green-side to this new trend - the hope that with more people using laundrettes again we will reduce our carbon footprint from indulging in over washing our clothes at home. Others spout that the appeal of the laundrette is about nostalgia and, in this increasingly socially disconnected world, having that human contact again.

Talking of yearning for nostalgia, there's news on Brexit. It appears Prime Minister Theresa May, like many an university student facing a dissertation deadline, works best under immense pressure. Because - despite having to deal with the potential threat of Cold War with Russia and the fallout from the Cambridge Analytica scandal, which has seen Facebook users irrationally deleting their accounts since it was revealed the social networking site had been mined for data - she has only gone and sorted out the Brexit transition period.

Mrs May has, inevitably, been much criticised for her chosen arrangements with the European Union over this curious limbo period between when we officially leave the EU (in March next year) and when we are "free, to do what we want to do", two years after that.

Staunch Brexiteer Nigel Farage has reportedly completely lost his nut, last spotted throwing fish off the back of a boat on the River Thames. The rumour is this is something to do with protest against Britain losing its fishing rights throughout the transition period but that doesn't appear to wash with the many pretty sure Farage has never cared about fish.

In a completely unconnected story, aquarium owners are said to have suffered a mysterious overnight diminishing of stock.

The best thing to come out of Brexit thus far, and the competition has obviously been immense (this reporter jests) is the Brexit Beano comic. This is a frankly genius monthly publication dreamt up and executed by illustrator and author Mike Dicks. Inspired, not just by the much-loved Beano comic of yesteryear, but 1960's children's TV classic Trumpton.

The Brexit comic, which - it gets better - comes in paper form, boasts characters including Reverend May and her Brexit Gang, David "Dealin" Davis and Boris "Captain Brexit" Johnson and also features a familiar, yet slightly altered, roll call to all those who enjoyed the Trumpton TV series the first time round or have had the joy of catching up with it on VHS since.

Instead of Trumpton's infamous "Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb", the Brexit Beano refrain runs "May, May, Johnson and Gove, Macron, Merkel, Mogg" - the two May characters reflecting the Prime Minster's shifting position on Brexit.

This reporter declares this is her kind of nostalgia. To celebrate let's don this Valentino dress. It has just the right amount of the 60's mod about it without trying to impose its sovereignty.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

All aboard the pizza ferry, headed for absolutely nowhere new

THIS Reporter wishes to express her fathomless thanks to the Westminster crew, none of whom decided to take upon themselves the tired old trope of making new year's resolutions - on off chance a better version of themselves existed - and instead continue in the exact same farcical way they blundered through 2018. Because despite the fact ministers had, in theory, laid their dispatch boxes on beds of tinsel for the duration of Christmastide, there is still much for us to catch up with. First, but by no means foremost, Sajid Javid, Home Secretary - who it has reached This Reporter via the rumour mill likes to call himself "The Saj" - perhaps short for Sergeant but more likely, Sajid - cut short his luxury £1,000-plus a night safari festive break in South Africa to rush back and deal with what he coined a "migrant crisis" but in reality was two brave souls casting out across the Channel in a rubber dinghy. Nevertheless, Javid called for immediate clampdown on th

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020. A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it. But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people&#

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Summer Riots, Eskimos and Camping It Up at the MET

THERE will be riots on the streets if the Government continues to roll out its controversial Universal Credit benefits system. That is the warning from former Prime Minister Gordon Brown who predicts a return to poll tax-style chaos and a summer of discontent if Theresa May does not call a halt to the scheme. The Universal Credit system combines six benefits in one and is set for a full national roll out next year, despite countless reports of claimants already on it being plunged into dire financial straits as a result. Mr Brown said: "Surely the greatest burning injustice of all is children having to go to school ill-clad and hungry. It is the poverty of the innocent - of children too young to know they are not to blame". This Reporter comments, it really must be a sign of the times, that Gordon Brown returning as Prime Minister seems a welcome idea. Moving on and President of America, Donald Trump has declared his daughter Ivanka would be "dynamite" as the

Neon, General Strike and BBC "Funky" Two

IN a world where the "people's voice" is being used more as a catchphrase than an actual signal of mass opinion, it is no wonder fashion types are reaching for neon. The traditional preserve of roadside workers and 90s rave fanatics, all garments in bold and brash, fluorescent hues are bang on trend for autumn. This obsession with a retina burning colour palate can only be down to our collective sense of being all but invisible, This Reporter muses. Though others would blame the trend setting power of neon-loving wallflower Kim Kardashian. Wherever you plan to pin the impetus, lime greens, shocking pinks and fluoro yellows are the only colours to be seen in this season (and boy will you be seen), whether hi vis evening wear, neon knits, colour-clash separates or standout accessories, being your chosen poison. This Reporter is, tentatively, opting for this over-sized neon pink turtleneck from Zara. If she hasn't the guts to wear it, she'll stick it on a flagpo