Skip to main content

Laundrettes, Brexit Beano and the Valentino throw-back mini dress

"You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby round round round round."

Oh hello there. I'll just turn the radio down. I'm at the laundrette, washing my clothes. Because we're all going to be doing this soon. Using laundrettes that is. They are popping back up everywhere. Perhaps not so much this side of the M25 but nevertheless, this is the future when it comes to washing, according to those in the fashion know.

Not perhaps as we once knew it. Carrier bags full of dirty washing self-consciously flung into big bellied washers, Dot Cotton-esque laundry assistants greeting you with a box of cheap soap suds, fag hanging out of mouth. It's all gone just that little bit chicer.

Hermes have launched a Hermesmatic laundrette service complete with bright orange, Instagrammable, machines specially to launder and service their Hermes silk scarves. Other brands are following suit, with the denim brand American Eagle opening a concept store and free laundry service near New York University for students to bring their washing to and have a beer whilst they wait.

The Japanese laundrette chain Wash and Fold offers a machine specially to wash trainers whilst Powder Laundry in Australia is millennial pink and coin free, washers operated via an app.

There is a green-side to this new trend - the hope that with more people using laundrettes again we will reduce our carbon footprint from indulging in over washing our clothes at home. Others spout that the appeal of the laundrette is about nostalgia and, in this increasingly socially disconnected world, having that human contact again.

Talking of yearning for nostalgia, there's news on Brexit. It appears Prime Minister Theresa May, like many an university student facing a dissertation deadline, works best under immense pressure. Because - despite having to deal with the potential threat of Cold War with Russia and the fallout from the Cambridge Analytica scandal, which has seen Facebook users irrationally deleting their accounts since it was revealed the social networking site had been mined for data - she has only gone and sorted out the Brexit transition period.

Mrs May has, inevitably, been much criticised for her chosen arrangements with the European Union over this curious limbo period between when we officially leave the EU (in March next year) and when we are "free, to do what we want to do", two years after that.

Staunch Brexiteer Nigel Farage has reportedly completely lost his nut, last spotted throwing fish off the back of a boat on the River Thames. The rumour is this is something to do with protest against Britain losing its fishing rights throughout the transition period but that doesn't appear to wash with the many pretty sure Farage has never cared about fish.

In a completely unconnected story, aquarium owners are said to have suffered a mysterious overnight diminishing of stock.

The best thing to come out of Brexit thus far, and the competition has obviously been immense (this reporter jests) is the Brexit Beano comic. This is a frankly genius monthly publication dreamt up and executed by illustrator and author Mike Dicks. Inspired, not just by the much-loved Beano comic of yesteryear, but 1960's children's TV classic Trumpton.

The Brexit comic, which - it gets better - comes in paper form, boasts characters including Reverend May and her Brexit Gang, David "Dealin" Davis and Boris "Captain Brexit" Johnson and also features a familiar, yet slightly altered, roll call to all those who enjoyed the Trumpton TV series the first time round or have had the joy of catching up with it on VHS since.

Instead of Trumpton's infamous "Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb", the Brexit Beano refrain runs "May, May, Johnson and Gove, Macron, Merkel, Mogg" - the two May characters reflecting the Prime Minster's shifting position on Brexit.

This reporter declares this is her kind of nostalgia. To celebrate let's don this Valentino dress. It has just the right amount of the 60's mod about it without trying to impose its sovereignty.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020.

The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up.
Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people.
A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions.
In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives This R…

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off.

Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version.

A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported.

He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig).

However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner.

Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war' leafle…

Pizza Express and Boris Johnson's 99 problems, but the ditch ain't one

THE MAJOR talking point of the week has been whether Pizza Express is set to go down the swanny. The pizza restaurant chain known, according to This Reporter's private lexicon, as "posh Pizza Hut" revealed it is currently battling £1.1billion worth of debt, which equates to a mammoth £1.6million per restaurant, and in turn, a heck of a lot of dough balls.
The plight of Pizza Express follows on from the news of Thomas Cook going under in the last few weeks and historically matches the tales of woe experienced by high street stalwarts BHS and Woolworths, which are alas no more but, especially in the case of Woolworths, still much bereaved.
Where else, This Reporter ponders could you buy a pick 'n' mix, a cassette tape of Ant and Dec's "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" and a toilet brush in one fell swoop?
Which leads to a serious piece of social commentary, which This Reporter has been keeping under her hat to be revealed at an appropriate time - deemed…

TV Presenter Phillip Schofield announces he is gay and a fox runs amok in Parliament

FROM TV presenter Phillip Schofield announcing he is gay, to the fox who ran amok through the Houses of Parliament, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Friday 7th February 2020.
Phillip Schofield, the co-presenter of ITV's This Morning programme but who leapt to fame in the broom cupboard, has come out as gay. In a statement released on This Morning's Twitter account, the presenter, who has been married to his wife for almost 27 years, paid tribute to his family. He said: "With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay". He wrote about his "inner conflict" but at the same time talked of  "a world that has changed so much for the better." He added: “Every day on This Morning, I sit in awe of those who have been brave and open in confronting their truth - so now it's my turn to share mine". Schofield married Stephanie Lowe in 1993 and they have two adult daughters, Mo…

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..."

Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again.

So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home".

The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations.

Try the Ophelia cocktail ring, available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats' sword.…