Skip to main content

Laundrettes, Brexit Beano and the Valentino throw-back mini dress

"You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby round round round round."

Oh hello there. I'll just turn the radio down. I'm at the laundrette, washing my clothes. Because we're all going to be doing this soon. Using laundrettes that is. They are popping back up everywhere. Perhaps not so much this side of the M25 but nevertheless, this is the future when it comes to washing, according to those in the fashion know.

Not perhaps as we once knew it. Carrier bags full of dirty washing self-consciously flung into big bellied washers, Dot Cotton-esque laundry assistants greeting you with a box of cheap soap suds, fag hanging out of mouth. It's all gone just that little bit chicer.

Hermes have launched a Hermesmatic laundrette service complete with bright orange, Instagrammable, machines specially to launder and service their Hermes silk scarves. Other brands are following suit, with the denim brand American Eagle opening a concept store and free laundry service near New York University for students to bring their washing to and have a beer whilst they wait.

The Japanese laundrette chain Wash and Fold offers a machine specially to wash trainers whilst Powder Laundry in Australia is millennial pink and coin free, washers operated via an app.

There is a green-side to this new trend - the hope that with more people using laundrettes again we will reduce our carbon footprint from indulging in over washing our clothes at home. Others spout that the appeal of the laundrette is about nostalgia and, in this increasingly socially disconnected world, having that human contact again.

Talking of yearning for nostalgia, there's news on Brexit. It appears Prime Minister Theresa May, like many an university student facing a dissertation deadline, works best under immense pressure. Because - despite having to deal with the potential threat of Cold War with Russia and the fallout from the Cambridge Analytica scandal, which has seen Facebook users irrationally deleting their accounts since it was revealed the social networking site had been mined for data - she has only gone and sorted out the Brexit transition period.

Mrs May has, inevitably, been much criticised for her chosen arrangements with the European Union over this curious limbo period between when we officially leave the EU (in March next year) and when we are "free, to do what we want to do", two years after that.

Staunch Brexiteer Nigel Farage has reportedly completely lost his nut, last spotted throwing fish off the back of a boat on the River Thames. The rumour is this is something to do with protest against Britain losing its fishing rights throughout the transition period but that doesn't appear to wash with the many pretty sure Farage has never cared about fish.

In a completely unconnected story, aquarium owners are said to have suffered a mysterious overnight diminishing of stock.

The best thing to come out of Brexit thus far, and the competition has obviously been immense (this reporter jests) is the Brexit Beano comic. This is a frankly genius monthly publication dreamt up and executed by illustrator and author Mike Dicks. Inspired, not just by the much-loved Beano comic of yesteryear, but 1960's children's TV classic Trumpton.

The Brexit comic, which - it gets better - comes in paper form, boasts characters including Reverend May and her Brexit Gang, David "Dealin" Davis and Boris "Captain Brexit" Johnson and also features a familiar, yet slightly altered, roll call to all those who enjoyed the Trumpton TV series the first time round or have had the joy of catching up with it on VHS since.

Instead of Trumpton's infamous "Pugh, Pugh, Barney, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb", the Brexit Beano refrain runs "May, May, Johnson and Gove, Macron, Merkel, Mogg" - the two May characters reflecting the Prime Minster's shifting position on Brexit.

This reporter declares this is her kind of nostalgia. To celebrate let's don this Valentino dress. It has just the right amount of the 60's mod about it without trying to impose its sovereignty.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

The inside scoop on Meghan and Harry's wedding - all the action before it's even happened

Fantastic news. We have all been invited to a wedding, and not just any old wedding but the royal wedding of the year (sorry Princess Eugenie) between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. This is what the big day - 19th May, if you still need to jot it down in your filofax - will look like. The girls will all get ready at Meghan's house, taking it in turns to marvel at her dress, by an avant garde British designer we will all pretend we have heard of. We will watch back-to-back episodes of Suits, quaffing glasses of Kombucha, so we can exclaim over how far she has come, all the while trying to reassure Kate Middleton we cannot see the baby sick down her brand new pleat detail dress  from Reiss. (We can). The boys will meanwhile be round Harry's gaff, stuffing themselves on venison burgers and Kettle Chips, before stripping down for a last game of naked snooker - for old time's sake. Reminiscing about ill-advised fancy dress costumes, past girlfriends with posh, fancy names

Theresa May's girls' night in and ice-cream flavoured plimsoles

The fashion world is in a two-and-eight. It has inconceivably come up with a trend which is the complete antithesis of everything it stands for - ice-cream. Let's be honest, no one in the fashion industry has eaten since 1997, subsisting on fresh air and the occasional whiff of Lancome watermelon Juicy Tube (because they're back). Never mind the veritable Pandora's box of worms the issue rears up for the lactose intolerant, and the vegans, who have risen up like a Samuria army since the clock struck midnight on first of January. But fear not, this ice-cream trend is nothing to do with consuming delicious frozen cream (sadly). Instead it is about the chosen pastel colour palette for this spring, leading on to summer 2018. Melting their way down runways there have been strawberry ice-cream coloured jackets from Celine, Acne Studios have offered up pistachio co-ords, Chanel have served us vanilla wafer coloured suits. There have been blueberry swirl skirts at Versace and

"Summer dreams ripped at the seams" - The day we should have Brexit

TODAY - Friday 29th March - was to have been The Day -  the day we Brexited from the European Union. If all had gone according to - if there had actually been a - plan. Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg were scheduled to be there at Dover cliff edge, gardening shears at the ready, to ceremoniously sever, together, all ties with our continental neighbours. In manner of some warped version of the bride and bridegroom cutting into their first slice of wedding cake. Former fireplace salesman, turned Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson would have led the military salute as Salvation Army brass bands from across the country, on pain of death, led a rousing rendition of "Jerusalem", followed by a blast of the Grease Megamix. That's the news of what didn't pan out this week, so what actually did happen? We heard Nigel Farage compared to Blackadder's Field Marshall Haig when Guy Verhofstadt questioned why he was sat in European Parliament and not out on the 200 mile Mar

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020. A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it. But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people&#