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The Frida Kahlo Barbie, uncompromising dress codes and something fishy

This reporter is relieved to discover she is not the only human being perturbed by the decision to bring out a Frida Kahlo Barbie.

The feminists of the world gave a great cry of glee at the announcement that the contentious doll manufacturer had brought out a new range of modern day and historical heroes. This includes the aforementioned artist Frida Kahlo, alongside the first female to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean, Amelia Earhart, pioneering mathematician Katherine Johnson and boxer Nicola Adams.

The dolls were brought out as part of celebrations for International Women's Day and have been praised for gazumping the usual stereotypical tottering, pink Barbie and giving girls dolls with more meat. Covering a whole range of nationalities and backgrounds - they are the ultimate in inclusivity.

This reporter however, did not understand the positivity to be had out of something akin to Barbie appropriation. We have been told for decades that if young girls spend their childhoods playing with Barbies they will end up with the inspirational reserves of a mayfly, merely spending their lives seeking out their Ken and their favourite shade of sickly sweet lip gloss.

So why, this reporter asked, were those who had previously expressed such uproar against this spindly piece of backward-thinking plastic now taking this doll and moulding it into something which, rather than resembling something better, now resembled Barbie in a series of wigs?

Fortunately, this reporter is not alone as first thought. Not only has Frida Kahlo's great niece come out and slammed the doll purportedly in her aunt's likeness, for looking absolutely nothing like her, but actress Salma Hayek, who played Frida in the film of her life, has weighed in saying immortalising the unique artist in Barbie plastic goes completely against what she was about.

In more local news, residents are affronted because they have not been targeted by a mobile fish van scouting out wealthy villages.

Homeowners are urged to be on the lookout for the suspicious looking white van being driven by devious thieves posing as door-to-door fish sellers, in order to assess whether you have anything worth robbing.

Villagers have been heard to declare they are sorely put out by not receiving a knock from these counterfeit fishmongers, decrying that they do indeed have plenty of stuff to nick. As they tell everyone on a regular basis, their home is a veritable Aladdin's cave for burglars.

This reporter would like to add, that these thieves, to be spotted driving around villages in an altogether innocuous white van emblazoned with a kipper, have failed on one crucial point, and that is ensuring they do not look fishy.

The Royal Ascot dress code has been released for all of us still agonising over what to wear for the big event in June and it appears we are going to need a more accurate tape measure.

The archaic dress code is just as strict as ever. For women, dresses or skirts must hit a minimum of just above the knee, while dress and top straps must measure at least one inch in width. Bright colours are forbidden as are off the shoulder, strapless and halterneck garments.

Men must wear black or grey morning dress involving a waistcoat, tie, black or grey top hat, black shoes with socks. Cravats are not permitted, nor is the customisation of top hats with coloured ribbons.

So, this reporter has checked and double checked the dress code and she thinks she's cracked it. She's going to be wearing this the Dundas one shoulder tiered ruffle mini dress in neon pink. Appropriate for Royal Ascot and for Barbies, as she concludes, we still don't quite know where we stand with them.

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