Skip to main content

Theresa May's girls' night in and ice-cream flavoured plimsoles

The fashion world is in a two-and-eight. It has inconceivably come up with a trend which is the complete antithesis of everything it stands for - ice-cream.

Let's be honest, no one in the fashion industry has eaten since 1997, subsisting on fresh air and the occasional whiff of Lancome watermelon Juicy Tube (because they're back). Never mind the veritable Pandora's box of worms the issue rears up for the lactose intolerant, and the vegans, who have risen up like a Samuria army since the clock struck midnight on first of January.

But fear not, this ice-cream trend is nothing to do with consuming delicious frozen cream (sadly). Instead it is about the chosen pastel colour palette for this spring, leading on to summer 2018.

Melting their way down runways there have been strawberry ice-cream coloured jackets from Celine, Acne Studios have offered up pistachio co-ords, Chanel have served us vanilla wafer coloured suits. There have been blueberry swirl skirts at Versace and violet cream layers of organza at Preen.

For a more affordable, yet still calorie-free ice-cream hit, try Supergas in a freezer load of pastel shades. Here this reporter has chosen a pale yellow pair that taste of lemon sorbet.

Prime Minister Theresa May has found herself at the forefront of criticism yet again. Not for her shabby directionless Brexit policy or her inability to sort out the collapsing NHS, as you would presume.

No on the contrary, she has been receiving flack for failing to properly answer a female journalist on what her ideal evening with the girls would look like. Reporter Julie Etchingham asked the question during an ITV interview.

To which, Mrs May responded: "Oh goodness me, I mean what a question and I haven't thought about it...I'm not going to have the time to have the girls around and have an evening together, I'm afraid. That's a rather difficult situation."

The internet has concluded this is yet another example of Mrs May proving she is not a human. She could at least not appear so surprised at the concept of having fun - they intoned.

A recent poll carried out by Sky News found that 67 per cent of British people think feminism has either gone too far or has gone as far as it should go. Just to remind ourselves, feminism is essentially the belief that men and women are equal and therefore should be treated as such.

This reporter suspects the 67 per cent are on the same planet as Donald Trump when it comes to grasping the concept of feminism. When the American Preseident was asked if he was a feminist by Piers Morgan in that excruciating interview earlier in the year, he replied: "I wouldn't go that far. I'm for everyone, men, women..." interestingly giving a pretty sufficient definition of what feminism is. (Not that anyone in their right mind thinks Trump is a feminist).

The only other explanation is 67 per cent of the British population hate women, including some women. With women still not being paid the same wage as a man for exactly the same job, with women still so poorly represented in Parliament and in boardrooms - one in four top jobs is held by a woman latest figures reveal. With women still being harassed, abused and raped on a daily basis, many in the "safety" of their own homes, when it comes to feminism, we have not gone too far, we have barely touched the sides.

Returning to Mrs May, and a handful of people have risen to her defence saying a male Prime Minister would never have been asked how he liked to spend time with the boys as it would be demeaning to his authoritative position.

Which begs the question, why are we asking Mrs May this when we now live in a completely gender equal society, as decreed by viewers of Sky News? Besides it is all too evident Mrs May's ideal evening off would be on her own with a copy of  Vogue, scoffing ice-cream.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Laundrettes, Brexit Beano and the Valentino throw-back mini dress

"You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby round round round round." Oh hello there. I'll just turn the radio down. I'm at the laundrette, washing my clothes. Because we're all going to be doing this soon. Using laundrettes that is. They are popping back up everywhere. Perhaps not so much this side of the M25 but nevertheless, this is the future when it comes to washing, according to those in the fashion know. Not perhaps as we once knew it. Carrier bags full of dirty washing self-consciously flung into big bellied washers, Dot Cotton-esque laundry assistants greeting you with a box of cheap soap suds, fag hanging out of mouth. It's all gone just that little bit chicer. Hermes have launched a Hermesmatic laundrette service complete with bright orange, Instagrammable, machines specially to launder and service their Hermes silk scarves. Other brands are following suit, with the denim brand American Eagle opening a concept store and free

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..." Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again. So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home". The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations. Try the Ophelia cocktail ring , available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats'

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off. Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version. A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported. He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig). However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner. Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war