Skip to main content

CBeebies' daydreams, dog dining and the & Other Stories lounge shirt

This reporter invites you to grab your favourite teddy bear, guzzle up your warm cup of milk, snuggle down under the blankets and get ready for a bedtime story. If you are lying comfortably, she will begin...

Once upon a time in a land far away, accessed only by a button on the TV remote, there was a children's television channel called CBeebies. Home to a hodge podge of colourful characters with funny names like Yakka Dee, Boj and the Twirlywoos. This children's TV channel was a godsend to many a time-poor, life-frazzled parent but the equivalent of a shot glass of e-number laced fizzy pop to the goggle-eyed, bullish monsters it had been sent to earth to entertain.

Station masters behind CBeebies realised this sort of stimulus could not go on. Parents had reported having to go to drastic measures, such as shovelling chocolate buttons down their children's throats, to deal with the inevitable pick-me-ups and crashing lows of the channel's televisual output and so they came up with Daydream.

Described as an 'ambient' TV experience especially for youngsters, the hour-long show - available for now only on the iPlayer - is described by its makers as a procession of gentle sounds and colours designed to calm your children down. It features footage of rivers, trees, flowers and bubbles and the occasional directional voice over from actor Olivia Coleman.

The end state for both child and parent viewer is one of catatonia - the equivalent of the lulling effect of the shot of brandy in the milk bottle or the good old days when Calpol included alcohol.

ARE YOU STILL AWAKE? Good, because this reporter wants to voice some feelings. She is suspicious about the subliminal messages this Daydream nonsense may be trying to imbibe. Is the plan to ease us all into half sleep and then start the brainwashing? Is this why we now all like avocados and the colour pink?

But then this reporter is still a little distrustful of what In the Night Garden is all about.

Another pinch yourself to see if you are awake moment has come courtesy of the Evening Standard which has published a definitive list of the top dining outlets in London for dogs. Whilst some restaurants boast simply being pooch friendly, ensuring your dog will get plenty of fuss and a bottomless water bowl, others are claiming to lay on a full three course menu.

Doggy afternoon tea is served at The Egerton House Hotel including three courses of meatloaf, biscuits and ice-cream. M Bar and Grill in Victoria Street provides visiting dogs with their own brunch menu. There is a choice of Bacon and Peanut Cookies or Dried Chicken Livers and the chance to brush tails with the restaurant's resident Labradoodle, Hudson.

Duck and Rice in Soho is the only Chinese restaurant in London to welcome dogs (perhaps for good reason). They will be provided with a bowl of water, a generous amount of treats and plenty of attention. As an aside, this reporter urges you not to become too distracted by the dim sum.

Once pooch and owner have eaten their fill, this reporter advises ambling over to Swedish retail emporium, & Other Stories and purchasing their Striped Jacquard Lounge Shirt. The perfect attire for our future residence in this dreamland between sleep and waking. If you feel particularly lathargic, they do trousers to match the top.

Sleep tight.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Stranded in Brexit Britain - A Taco Sauce Survival Tale

WITH three weeks to go and about as much readiness as you can fit into a Borrower's knapsack, the pressing question remains, who is going to stop Brexit? The obvious candidate, not to go all Rees-Mogg on you, is the Queen. Who in theory, if not in practise, has the power and from previous allusions, thinks Brexit a load of piffle.
Failing the Queen, who let's face it has her hands full as a member of the sandwich generation - wrangling the car keys out of Prince Philip's mitts on the one hand and helping Meghan practise for her hypno-birth, on the other. If the Queen is not available there are "dupes" for her.
Victoria Beckham is to deliver a Queen's Speech on "Christmas Day" in March to launch her YouTube channel, on basis these speeches are "quite popular" and as we are constantly reminded by those around her, Mrs Beckham is witty and self-deprecating. Highlights will include her rallying cry to get people to subscribe to her channel: &q…

Corbyn's Phoney People's Vote, Pot Shots and Gigantic Bows

FROM Corbyn's phoney call for a People's Vote and the cliffhanger pot shot video tape, to the Roksanda blouse with the enormous bows, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

Cadbury can only be a sugar rush away from filing a trademark infringement against the British government (to wit - the "Crunchie") as the political world of farcical doom entered yet another of its relentless crunch weeks. Providing, of course, the Crunchie bar was packed from first bite instead of with honeycomb, space dust, and instead of with space dust, TNT and instead of with TNT, nuclear active garbage just 29 days away from detonate, because that's about where we are with Brexit.
Prime Minister Theresa May is under the mistaken impression that the best way to avoid cataclysmic disaster is to dodge it. Colloquially known as "the swerve". As that is exactly what she has done over the meaningful vote - part numero deux - on her deal, which was due to take…

Bercow Bans Brexit Vote 3, Tram Shooting and the Tortoise Illusion Cake

FROM John Bercow banning a third Brexit vote and another suspected terrorist attack - this time on a tram in Utrecht - to the ultimate in tortoise illusion cakes (spoiler alert: it wasn't a cake) welcome to This Reporter's daily news round-up.

Some have called it a massive spanner in the works, others a "constitutional crisis", whilst those more scholarly types have plumped for "Erskine Mayhem". Either way we are all talking about Common's Speaker John Bercow making the "shock" announcement yesterday (Monday) he was banning Prime Minister Theresa May from putting her Brexit deal before Parliament for meaningful vote a third time, unless it underwent substantial changes.
What Mr Bercow appears to have done is got the PM on an historical technicality. Quoting from the guide to parliamentary procedure, Erskine May (no relation to our leader) he said the Commons could not be "repeatedly asked to pronounce" on the same question.
Inevitabl…

Brexit Crisis, Boris "Spaffed" Johnson and Prince Charles' Beach Bod

FROM MPs' dawning revelation that yes, Brexit is in crisis and Boris Johnson's leadership bid "spaffed up a wall", to Prince Charles' "impressive" beach bod, welcome to This Reporter's daily news round-up.

"It's like the last days of Rome". A direct quote there, which shows at long last MPs have cottoned on to what the rest of the country/Europe/the world could have told them months and months (and months) ago -  Brexit is at crisis point.
Prime Minister Theresa May herself admitted that things were not going quite according to plan yesterday (Tuesday) and, to be frank, exiting the European Union on 29th March (next week) probably wasn't going to happen.
But instead of taking some form of useful action to try and sort this crisis out, she has decided to make a move which will only takes things from shockingly bad to unfathomably worse. This Reporter refers to Mrs May writing to EU Chief Michael Barnier to request only a short exten…

Brexit: Where's Barbara Cartland's magic acorn when you need it?

THERE are no words - quite the technical hitch when it comes to writing - to do justice to the single greatest political calamity of our generation. This Reporter considered instead using expressionist art or shadow puppetry. She would make a concerted effort at it for five minutes before setting fire to the whole damn lot - as symbolism.
As alternative, let's start with the bare-boned facts of the matter. Prime Minister Theresa May lost her second meaningful vote on her Brexit deal in Parliament on Tuesday night by a stonking 391 votes to 242. Not the complete annihilation of meaningless vote part numero one, but still an almost unprecedented disaster.
David Cameron, tracked down at his lair, said: "I don't understand why MPs who have always wanted Brexit keep voting against it". Well David, sometimes people do the most unfathomable of things don't they. But back to the facts.
Mrs May's promise of votes on No Deal and Article 50 extension are coming up next.…