Skip to main content

The British Milk Council, Morrissey and the rainbow jumper from Hush

Much fun has come this week from the British Milk Council's Twitter account. Set up to appear nothing more than an innocuous Twitter forum to spread the health benefits of drinking milk, Twitter users have been led to suspect there is a little more afoot.

An hilarious spat broke out online between two of the British Milk Council's employees following the announcement that their official Twitter account was being shut down due to the "misuse of data higher up".

Employee Jason, who claims to have built up the brand from the ground including an "inspired" #ManMilk promotion, appears to have taken the Twitter account hostage, declaring he was not going to be pushed out of his job, had changed the Twitter password and intended never to give the account back.

Donna, who Twitter devotees speculated may or may not be a cow - of the bovine variety - tweeted back: "Jason log out of this account now or I'll contact Twitter support". Thus commenced an exchanging of insults between Jason and Donna, climaxing in Jason declaring: "You don't deserve my man milk Donna".

Some social media fans have speculated the British Milk Council is a parody account stealing laughs off the back of the fact mega pub chain Wetherspoons announced it was shutting down all its social media accounts this week.

Others, this reporter included, found themselves becoming highly invested in the story of Jason and Donna, the technologically-savvy cow, and want to be find out more about them. Follow the British Milk Council on Twitter Asap as the fracas continues.

Meanwhile tourists have found themselves hounded out of parts of Craignethan Castle in Scotland by a "very angry badger". It is believed said badger has made its home in the tunnels which run under the 16th Century Scottish fortress and staff have had no choice but to shut these tunnels to visitors.

On Twitter, the heritage organisation said: "If you're heading to #Craignethan Castle over the next few days you might find the Cellar Tunnel closed due to the presence of a very angry badger. We're trying to entice it out with cat food and send it home".

The organisation did not elaborate on why the badger was angry, but it is thought the animal may live in surrounding woodland and became lost. This reporter suggests far from a "very angry badger", we may have found Jason.

Morrissey has been fuming this week. There has been no quarter of life the ex-Smith's frontman didn't appear to have a gripe with in an interview published on his website. Already infamous for his statements on race and animal welfare, he decided to sandwich the two together for his comment that eating animals was tantamount to animal racism. "If you eat animals, isn't it a display of hatred for a certain species?...Would you eat people from Sri Lanka?" he asks.

He criticised Theresa May declaring she was "incapable of leadership" (well...) and couldn't say her own name unless it was written down on a cue card in front of her. London Mayor Sadiq Khan, he said, couldn't speak properly, in reference to him dropping his h's. Diane Abbot, in his opinion, wouldn't be employed by Tesco and Hitler, as we all know, was famously left-wing.

If you were wondering at any point during this interview Morrissey was actually joking, he puts paid to this thought by clarifying: "Nothing I say is provocative. They are just the facts." May this reporter suggest Morrissey drinks more milk. Alternatively here's a jumper from Hush with a rainbow on it guaranteed to cheer us all up.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cameron's Comeback, "The Grid" and a Passport to Chic

WITH the bad boys of Brexit back in town and no feasible escape from this rapidly sinking island, all hope clings to a leather dress. Welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

Prime Minister Theresa May will be interrogated by children, we learnt, after signing up to appear on Sky Kids news programme 'FYI'. Mrs May is famed for shirking the TV interview - besides which, serious television journalists appear to have lost their (news) sense - so it looks like it falls to the youngest and let's face it, far more assiduous minds, to ask Mrs May how much more it will take to sack off Brexit?
And here's the very man we'll say arguably, but in all fairness we mean actually, got us into this mess in the first place. Namely David Cameron, letting slip to his friends he was bored witless putting his trotters up in his second shepherd's hut in Nice, and wanted to return to front line politics. His remorseless eyes set on the post of foreign secretary.…

The Ginormous Lego Orangutan and Johnson & Johnson's Minty Youth Shots

WELCOME to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up live from Brexit Island, where ginormous Lego orangutans rampage and we clamour for Johnson & Johnson's youth-giving minty shots. Not suitable for those of nervous disposition - there may be scenes of a sexual nature and episodes of political absurdity readers will find disturbing.

Soundbite from Prime Minister Theresa May live last night (Wednesday): "Thank Christ for that", as Cabinet agreed to the draft Brexit withdrawal agreement after a tempestuous five hour long meeting.
Yes, it has been quite the week on Brexit Island, as Britain is now officially called, with promises as tantalising as a Victorian peep show that Mrs May and the EU27 were going to draft up an agreement in time. As frequently we heard "there's no chance gov'nor" as the more upbeat, "stay tuned".
As is custom, Mrs May's relief was to be short-lived however, as she lost Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab to r…

Drug Stockpiling, Deep Fried Crap Land and the Tech Worker Fleece

FROM urgent calls for patients to stockpile their own medicine and Legoland renamed "Deep Fried Crap Land", to the tech worker's wardrobe essential - the fleece, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

Patients are being urged to start stockpiling their own drugs as soon as it looks likely the UK will leave the EU with no deal. This is the message from the pharmaceutical industry as they warn MPs a no deal Brexit will be "catastrophic" for medicine supplies.

Pharmaceutical bods elaborated, government contingency plans for suppliers to stockpile several weeks of drugs were insufficient and there were no facilities at ports to store drugs at low temperatures in event of delays. They pleaded the next phase of plans should be put in place. Meanwhile This Reporter urges immediate raids of pharmacies. Just don't say who sent you.

It's fair to say Donald Trump has never had the riches of the English language at his fingertips but the Pres…

Mail Bombs, Ross from Friends and the Dr Marten Boots

FROM the suspected bombs sent out to Trump's critics and Ross from Friends in the frame with Blackpool police, to the resurgence of picket line favourite - the Dr Marten boot, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

In the words of many a newspaper columnist, "the rhetoric became real" yesterday (Wednesday) as it emerged suspected explosives had been sent to a host of prominent Donald Trump critics including former President Barack Obama and Democrat presidential nominee Hilary Clinton. The "bombs" were intercepted by the US Secret Service. On the same day the CNN studios in New York were evacuated after a "live explosive device" was found in its mail room.

New York police commissioner James O-Neill said the targets may have been selected due to their opposition to Trump. And Trump's constant rhetoric of violence towards his opponents - including most recently praising the "slam-dunking" of a Guardian journalist - i…

Body Double, Plastic Bottle Currency and the Burberry Giant Tote

FROM Khashoggi's body double and plastic bottle currency, to the return of the super-sized tote bag, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

CCTV footage has "suddenly" emerged of what appears to be a body double dressed up in murdered journalist Jamal Khashoggi's clothes. It is believed the doppelganger donned Khashoggi's clothes and a fake beard and intentionally made sure he was captured on CCTV in a bid to pretend Khashoggi was still alive. The rookie error came where it can be clearly seen the Saudi agent kept his own trainers on.

Meanwhile Turkish President Recep Tayyio Erdogan has expressed his determination to get to the bottom of what happened to Khashoggi after he entered the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul, by addressing Parliament with a speech compiling all the leaks, evidence and speculation on the case so far in order to expose the "naked truth" of the Saudi Government's involvement.

Threats of violence against Prime…