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The British Milk Council, Morrissey and the rainbow jumper from Hush

Much fun has come this week from the British Milk Council's Twitter account. Set up to appear nothing more than an innocuous Twitter forum to spread the health benefits of drinking milk, Twitter users have been led to suspect there is a little more afoot.

An hilarious spat broke out online between two of the British Milk Council's employees following the announcement that their official Twitter account was being shut down due to the "misuse of data higher up".

Employee Jason, who claims to have built up the brand from the ground including an "inspired" #ManMilk promotion, appears to have taken the Twitter account hostage, declaring he was not going to be pushed out of his job, had changed the Twitter password and intended never to give the account back.

Donna, who Twitter devotees speculated may or may not be a cow - of the bovine variety - tweeted back: "Jason log out of this account now or I'll contact Twitter support". Thus commenced an exchanging of insults between Jason and Donna, climaxing in Jason declaring: "You don't deserve my man milk Donna".

Some social media fans have speculated the British Milk Council is a parody account stealing laughs off the back of the fact mega pub chain Wetherspoons announced it was shutting down all its social media accounts this week.

Others, this reporter included, found themselves becoming highly invested in the story of Jason and Donna, the technologically-savvy cow, and want to be find out more about them. Follow the British Milk Council on Twitter Asap as the fracas continues.

Meanwhile tourists have found themselves hounded out of parts of Craignethan Castle in Scotland by a "very angry badger". It is believed said badger has made its home in the tunnels which run under the 16th Century Scottish fortress and staff have had no choice but to shut these tunnels to visitors.

On Twitter, the heritage organisation said: "If you're heading to #Craignethan Castle over the next few days you might find the Cellar Tunnel closed due to the presence of a very angry badger. We're trying to entice it out with cat food and send it home".

The organisation did not elaborate on why the badger was angry, but it is thought the animal may live in surrounding woodland and became lost. This reporter suggests far from a "very angry badger", we may have found Jason.

Morrissey has been fuming this week. There has been no quarter of life the ex-Smith's frontman didn't appear to have a gripe with in an interview published on his website. Already infamous for his statements on race and animal welfare, he decided to sandwich the two together for his comment that eating animals was tantamount to animal racism. "If you eat animals, isn't it a display of hatred for a certain species?...Would you eat people from Sri Lanka?" he asks.

He criticised Theresa May declaring she was "incapable of leadership" (well...) and couldn't say her own name unless it was written down on a cue card in front of her. London Mayor Sadiq Khan, he said, couldn't speak properly, in reference to him dropping his h's. Diane Abbot, in his opinion, wouldn't be employed by Tesco and Hitler, as we all know, was famously left-wing.

If you were wondering at any point during this interview Morrissey was actually joking, he puts paid to this thought by clarifying: "Nothing I say is provocative. They are just the facts." May this reporter suggest Morrissey drinks more milk. Alternatively here's a jumper from Hush with a rainbow on it guaranteed to cheer us all up.

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