Skip to main content

The Kanye West interview, Millicent Fawcett's statue and PVC trousers

"Fame I'm gonna live forever..."

Good evening and welcome to Fame, the celebrity spotlight televisual programme presented by none other than yours truly, This Reporter.

Tonight's guest is a US rapper, business mogul, husband to the world's most prolific Instagram user and father to North West, South West and Due West.

He is here tonight to talk about his book, which he intends to write entirely through the medium of Twitter, his love for American President Donald Trump and his own ambitions to become president one day. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Kanye West...

Cue intro music - "Now, I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger..."

This Reporter: Kanye, welcome. Thanks for joining us.

Kanye West: What's up?

This Reporter: So I hear you are planning to write a book. Can you tell us more?

Kanye West: Yeah, I'm writing it in real time, on Twitter. No publisher or publicist will tell me what to put where or how many pages to write.

This Reporter: The more cynical amongst us would say this is yet another attempt by a celebrity to piggy back the book industry and make money?

KW: This is not a financial opportunity, this is an innate need to be expressive. I will work on this book when I feel it. When we sit still in the mornings we get hit with so many ideas and so many we want to express.

TR: Quite. Could you perhaps read us an extract from the book thus far?

KW: Sure. (Gets out iPhone) "You will be a drop of water with the ocean as your army. If you move out of fear then you're on your own. Then it's just you and the money and the countless people you have to lie to and manipulate to build a man made path that will never lead to true happiness".

TR: (wipes tear from eye) Moving on. I hear you have been sharing your love for Donald Trump on social media. Can you elaborate?

KW: You don't have to agree with Trump but the mob can't make me not love him. We are both dragon energy. He is my brother.

TR: Right. And your own ambitions to become president one day?

KW: Hash tag Kanye 2024, know what I'm saying? When I talk about the idea of being president, I'm not saying I have any political views. I don't have views on politics, I just have a view on humanity, on people, on the truth. If there is anything that I can do with my time and my day, to somehow make a difference while I'm alive I'm going to try to do it".

TR: That's Kanye West everyone. This reporter will see you all again soon, for another instalment of Fame.

"...people will see me and cry".

Fame's a curious animal isn't it. It's almost as though it just closes its eyes and randomly picks a name from a hat.

In related news, the monumental struggle to install a female statue in Parliament Square alongside the likenesses of male politicians Winston Churchill, David Lloyd George and Nelson Mandela has finally culminated in the unveiling of a statue of Suffragette campaigner Millicent Fawcett this week.

Not only is this statue the first female statue in the Square but the first statue to be designed by a woman, the Turner Prize winning artist Gillian Wearing. Fawcett was a leading campaigner for women's suffrage, who started fighting for women to get the vote when she was just 19. She was an integral part of securing the 1918 Representation of the People Act, which allowed some women over the age of 30 to vote in elections.

But it has taken a gruelling campaign spearheaded by Caroline Criado-Perez, who also pushed to have author Jane Austen on the ten pound note, to get Fawcett's statue commissioned, despite the integral spot she holds in our history.

This reporter recommends these PVC trousers by designer Rick Owens. It's what all the famous people wear. This reporter would go as far as to suggest wearing these trousers will make people assume you are famous.

She could add it was Millicent Fawcett's lack of PVC trousers which led to people's failure to recognise her worth but that would be excusing our abysmal judgement at who we raise up on a pedestal.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boris Disaggregates the Barney and Rylan Jostles for PM

WELCOME to This Reporter's weekly news round-up and this week there has been a concerted effort on This Reporter's part, not to discuss either Boris Johnson or the Tory leadership contest more generally. Let's see how that pans out.

Monday 24th June and Jeremy Hunt is leading the call for his Tory leadership rival Boris Johnson to come clean about the incident with his girlfriend at her London flat on Friday evening. Cabinet ministers, backbenchers and major party donors, not to mention the public, are all expecting Johnson to give some kind of explanation after police were called out by concerned neighbours who heard his girlfriend Carrie Symonds screaming "get off me" and "get out of my flat", accompanied by the sounds of slamming doors and smashing glasses.
Mr Hunt said Mr Johnson needed to show "he can answer difficult questions", before accusing him of appearing willing to "slink through the back door" of No 10 by "pathetica…

Neil Fromage, Scrapping the Sin Tax and Fantastic Arctic Fox

Monday 1st July and Labour is calling for an investigation into an anonymous leak to the Times newspaper that Jeremy Corbyn was too frail to be PM. Corbyn's team have refuted the allegation their leader is not "firing on all cylinders", with a spokesperson elaborating: "Jeremy Corbyn is as fit as a fiddle - people 20 years younger struggle to keep up with him". The leak is believed to have come from civil servants who have been accused of undermining democracy.
Tory PM wannabe Jeremy Hunt meanwhile has said he was prepared to look family businesses in the eye and say their sacrifice was worth it, should they go bust as a result of no deal Brexit. These words came as he insisted a no deal would be necessary, if a deal could not be struck by October, to show the world the UK listened to its people.
Accompanied by the sounds of a whale chorus, TV naturalist David Attenborough made a surprise appearance on stage at Glastonbury to thank the crowds for making the fes…

Slugs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails - How we made Boris Johnson

"Beware those men, the jokers and the tricksters and the clowns. They will laugh us into hell" - Years and Years

Monday 17th June and the PM hopefuls took part in a televised debate on Channel 4 on Sunday evening. With the principle objective for Jeremy Hunt, Sajid Javid, Dominic Raab, Michael Gove, and Rory Stewart being, trying to prove more charismatic and interesting than an empty chair, as shoe-in Boris Johnson failed to turn up. It took until after the ad break for Mr Hunt to address the situation, saying: "I just want to say, where is Boris?" Whilst Rory Stewart, speaking of the leadership contest, gave us the profound: "It reminds me...I was trying to cram a whole series of rubbish bags into the...rubbish bin. And my wife said 'you're never going to get those three huge bags of rubbish in'. And I was tempted, like Michael, like Dominic, to say "believe in the bin! Believe in Britain! Right? It's nonsense", and the conspiratoria…

"Wacky Ambassador", #AbolishEton and Snowball the Dancing Cockatoo

Monday 8th July and incoming Prime Minister Boris Johnson has jabbed his whetted finger into the air, like a reverse dipstick, to test the latest mood swing of the nation and decreed this week he would best serve himself by backing a no deal Brexit. So here he goes saying he is going to make Britain "match fit" for a no deal departure "come what may", continuing, he was fed up with people claiming it cannot be done. "I have had enough of being told that we cannot do it - that the sixth biggest economy in the world is not strong enough to run itself and go forward in the world".
Over the weekend more than 30 Tories mumbled, in main part, anonymously, that they would block a no deal Brexit, should it be forced through Parliament. Rory Stewart, who became approximately two-eighths living legend for his earlier show in the PM leadership contest, for truth-saying, has gone a little off method with this more revolutionary idea. He declared he would organise an …

Rudd's resignation, Trump's visit and Kat Von D's indestructible eyeliner

You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I'm telling you why. Donald Trump is coming to town.

More about that later. First, some serious news. (This reporter puts on her most sensible of news reading glasses). The Guardian reports today (Monday) that Amber Rudd has "dramatically" resigned as home secretary after "repeatedly struggling to account for her role in the unjust treatment of Windrush generation migrants."

The documenter of our times continues: "The home secretary was forced to step down after a series of revelations in the Guardian over Windrush culminated in a leak on Friday that appeared to show she was aware of targets for removing illegal migrants from Britain.

"The pressure increased late on Sunday afternoon as the Guardian revealed that in a leaked 2017 letter to Theresa May, Rudd had told the Prime Minister of her intention to increase deportations by 10 per cent - seemingly at odds with her recent denials that she w…