Skip to main content

The Kanye West interview, Millicent Fawcett's statue and PVC trousers

"Fame I'm gonna live forever..."

Good evening and welcome to Fame, the celebrity spotlight televisual programme presented by none other than yours truly, This Reporter.

Tonight's guest is a US rapper, business mogul, husband to the world's most prolific Instagram user and father to North West, South West and Due West.

He is here tonight to talk about his book, which he intends to write entirely through the medium of Twitter, his love for American President Donald Trump and his own ambitions to become president one day. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Kanye West...

Cue intro music - "Now, I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger..."

This Reporter: Kanye, welcome. Thanks for joining us.

Kanye West: What's up?

This Reporter: So I hear you are planning to write a book. Can you tell us more?

Kanye West: Yeah, I'm writing it in real time, on Twitter. No publisher or publicist will tell me what to put where or how many pages to write.

This Reporter: The more cynical amongst us would say this is yet another attempt by a celebrity to piggy back the book industry and make money?

KW: This is not a financial opportunity, this is an innate need to be expressive. I will work on this book when I feel it. When we sit still in the mornings we get hit with so many ideas and so many we want to express.

TR: Quite. Could you perhaps read us an extract from the book thus far?

KW: Sure. (Gets out iPhone) "You will be a drop of water with the ocean as your army. If you move out of fear then you're on your own. Then it's just you and the money and the countless people you have to lie to and manipulate to build a man made path that will never lead to true happiness".

TR: (wipes tear from eye) Moving on. I hear you have been sharing your love for Donald Trump on social media. Can you elaborate?

KW: You don't have to agree with Trump but the mob can't make me not love him. We are both dragon energy. He is my brother.

TR: Right. And your own ambitions to become president one day?

KW: Hash tag Kanye 2024, know what I'm saying? When I talk about the idea of being president, I'm not saying I have any political views. I don't have views on politics, I just have a view on humanity, on people, on the truth. If there is anything that I can do with my time and my day, to somehow make a difference while I'm alive I'm going to try to do it".

TR: That's Kanye West everyone. This reporter will see you all again soon, for another instalment of Fame.

"...people will see me and cry".

Fame's a curious animal isn't it. It's almost as though it just closes its eyes and randomly picks a name from a hat.

In related news, the monumental struggle to install a female statue in Parliament Square alongside the likenesses of male politicians Winston Churchill, David Lloyd George and Nelson Mandela has finally culminated in the unveiling of a statue of Suffragette campaigner Millicent Fawcett this week.

Not only is this statue the first female statue in the Square but the first statue to be designed by a woman, the Turner Prize winning artist Gillian Wearing. Fawcett was a leading campaigner for women's suffrage, who started fighting for women to get the vote when she was just 19. She was an integral part of securing the 1918 Representation of the People Act, which allowed some women over the age of 30 to vote in elections.

But it has taken a gruelling campaign spearheaded by Caroline Criado-Perez, who also pushed to have author Jane Austen on the ten pound note, to get Fawcett's statue commissioned, despite the integral spot she holds in our history.

This reporter recommends these PVC trousers by designer Rick Owens. It's what all the famous people wear. This reporter would go as far as to suggest wearing these trousers will make people assume you are famous.

She could add it was Millicent Fawcett's lack of PVC trousers which led to people's failure to recognise her worth but that would be excusing our abysmal judgement at who we raise up on a pedestal.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Laundrettes, Brexit Beano and the Valentino throw-back mini dress

"You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby round round round round." Oh hello there. I'll just turn the radio down. I'm at the laundrette, washing my clothes. Because we're all going to be doing this soon. Using laundrettes that is. They are popping back up everywhere. Perhaps not so much this side of the M25 but nevertheless, this is the future when it comes to washing, according to those in the fashion know. Not perhaps as we once knew it. Carrier bags full of dirty washing self-consciously flung into big bellied washers, Dot Cotton-esque laundry assistants greeting you with a box of cheap soap suds, fag hanging out of mouth. It's all gone just that little bit chicer. Hermes have launched a Hermesmatic laundrette service complete with bright orange, Instagrammable, machines specially to launder and service their Hermes silk scarves. Other brands are following suit, with the denim brand American Eagle opening a concept store and free

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..." Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again. So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home". The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations. Try the Ophelia cocktail ring , available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats'

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off. Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version. A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported. He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig). However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner. Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war