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Gingerbread people, Serrano and Isabel Marant's Lonny belt

"Run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man..."

You know the way people get het up about the minutiae of life? How daily grumbles and irritations are inexplicably elevated to the status of world poverty and famine?

That is what has happened here...

Cake-lovers are up in arms after a bakery decided to change the labels on its gingerbread men to the more politically correct 'gingerbread people'.

JL Bean Bakery in Cleveleys, Lancashire, modified the name of its biscuits on a mere "whim" according to its owner Paul Lewis. However, a recent customer took immense offence when she went to order a gingerbread man and she was told "actually they are gingerbread people now".

The customer, a Mrs Dugdale, expressed her exasperation with this "politically-correct nonsense" on social media and others were quick to join in the criticism. Owner Mr Lewis maintains the name change was nothing to do with political correctness and he was "surprised at how seriously some of the people were taking things."

This reporter questions where this leaves us with Lady Fingers?

Meghan Markle, or the Duchess of Sussex to give her her official title, has cemented her feminist status on her new page on the British monarchy's website.

The profile lists the 36-year-old American actress's achievements to date including her quote from the 2015 United Nations conference in New York: "I am proud to be a woman and a feminist".

It continues that Meghan has had a "keen awareness of social issues and actively participated in charitable work" from a young age. It goes on to say her first campaign will be to ensure all gingerbread men are henceforth known as gingerbread people. This is of course 'fake news'.

Here are some real news headlines...

The human race makes up just 0.01 per cent of all life but has managed to eradicate most other livings things, according to a ground-breaking study into all life on Earth.
Humankind is revealed as simultaneously insignificant and utterly dominant in the grand scheme of things, causing the loss of 83 per cent of all wild mammals and half of plants since the dawn of civilisation, whilst the biggest category of animals on this planet is livestock kept by humans.

Benefits sanctions are ineffective at getting jobless people into work and are more likely to reduce those affected to poverty, ill-health or even survival crime, the UK's most extensive study of welfare conditionality has found.
The five-year exercise tracking hundreds of claimants concludes that the controversial policy of docking benefits as punishment for alleged failures to comply with job centre rules has been little short of disastrous.

Michael Gove and Ruth Davidson have teamed up to back new Tory thinktank Onward, with a warning that without fresh ideas and a broader appeal the party will be "finished for at least a generation".
A recent YouGov poll found that nearly half of 18 to 24-year-olds said they would never vote Conservative, whilst at the 2017 election, the tipping point when people were more likely to vote Tory than Labour rose from 34 to 47.
Ms Davidson said: "The choice isn't whether we pick a side between young and old, urban or rural - millennial entrepreneur or baby-boomer factory worker. Or, if you will, it's not a choice between Serrano or gammon...We have it in us to speak to the entire nation - and we must".

This reporter reflects we really are obsessed with meat.

Can the fashion world offer us any hope today? Not likely. This reporter was quite sure we had ditched the ornamental belt. She hasn't seen anyone wearing a belt for anything other trouser-holding-up purposes since 2015 but it looks like waist-cinching is back with vengeance. So much for those feminist principles.

The Leowe Obi belt looks quite simply painful. The Gucci leather belt bag - practical. But she suggests if you are going to revisit this trend at least go for the Isabel Marant Lonny belt. It doubles as a whip.

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