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Germaine Greer on "naked" Beyonce, Ruby Tandoh on food snobbery and the Khaite wool bodysuit

Please hold caller.

Excuse this reporter one moment. She's just got to take this call. You see, she's set herself up a little sideline - 'This Reporter's Fashion Helpline", an emergency hotline for all your sartorial problems, big and small.

Yes, sorry. How may this reporter help you?
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. Yes. I understand. Yes. The daisy square neck wool bodysuit by Khaite. Yes absolutely, guaranteed. Not a problem. Call again soon.

Apologies for that. Just took a call from "In a Flap" from Blackburn. She's been struck down by the fashion trend for tucking in everything, including the chunkiest of knitwear, into the waistband of her jeans and its left her feeling as though she is about to pop.

This reporter told her she sympathises. We never used to have this trouble in this reporter's day. Indeed, we'd do anything to avoid being tucked in, including detention and lines after school. Now for the youth of today it's a case of get tucked in, or get out - from the thinnest T-shirts to the thickest of jumpers, it all needs to be wedged down the front of your high waisted, fray hemmed jeans, despite this (or perhaps because this) leaves you with the legs of a stork and the teeny tiniest of bodies floating around on top.

Fortunately the 90's revival of the bodysuit is back in trend, which allows you, with the click of a few carefully placed poppers to look effortlessly tucked in. This reporter's even spotted this woollen number by Khaite which negates the bulky jumper situation quite nicely.

It also doubles up as a splendid leotard should you sense a Beyonce moment coming on - and who doesn't from one time to another - but just don't tell Germaine Greer.

The arch feminist, who appears to be milking her current slot in the spotlight as society's greatest provoker, for all it is worth, has now criticised Beyonce of "Halo" fame for putting on a "sexual display" in her stage outfits.

She questioned why the pop star, who she says has a beautiful singing voice " as clear as a bell" has always got to be naked. "I'm not saying you have to keep your clothes on," Germaine continues. "But why is sexual display part of the job? I might as well ask that question to a barmaid who says she doesn't get any tips if she doesn't show cleavage".

Ms Greer goes on to criticise female athletes asking why they always have to be naked. She cites the example of female figure skaters who are clothed in just "a few wisps of cloth and the man is in evening dress". Greer claims nakedness is usually a sign of submission. It's a sign of inequality.

This reporter concedes Germaine is not wrong about any of this but to voice this conundrum is akin to taking the bottom block out of the precariously built Jenga tower that is entertainment.

Elsewhere, Ruby Tandoh - who found fame crying doe-eyed tears at Paul Hollywood during a past series of The Great British Bake Off only for it to turn out, to the great joy of everyone except Hollywood, that men were not entirely her thing - has spoken out about having to ditch her lucrative Guardian newspaper food column due to the inherent snobbery in the food industry.

"The stuff that makes the headlines again and again is toxic and elitist and supported by truly rotten foundations", declares the highly eloquent, and uncensored, baker and writer. She went on to explain in a 'thread' on Twitter that those with less money are often made to feel ashamed for being unable to afford costly, supposedly nutritious products, and made the point that processed foods are not always as damaging as they are made out to be.

She cited there were people "slagging off convenience foods all around, professional fatphobes at every level and not a scruple in sight. I really tried, but I'm out."

"As much as we all owe it to each other to do good in the world, I can't shoulder this burden - it's too big", she added.

This reporter suggests the Guardian and its ilk just weren't read for her (Hartley's) jelly.


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