Skip to main content

Melvyn Bragg on Love Island, Gemma Collins' book and the bath puff fascinator

So reader - the question to chew over as you peruse this reporter's latest scrawl is, in 2018, is Britain still a country of cumbersome, yet endearing, oddballs, or have we simply declined into thoughtless stupidity? Let's see...

Melvyn Bragg appears to think the latter. The broadcaster and Labour peer, in an interview for the Radio Times, said Britain is becoming a stupid country (you see) except for 'certain highlights'. He blamed much of this decline on the country's university system, which he said, despite being the best in the world, was being slowly and carelessly destroyed.

Mr Bragg also referenced Britain's television output, saying he saw some hope in the work of actors Hugh Grant and Benedict Cumberbatch in 'A Very English Scandal' and 'Patrick Melrose' respectively, but he feared 'Love Island' was a dismal sign of the times - but curiously, did not rule out watching it.

He said: "The popularity of series like Love Island show that we're becoming increasingly eccentric and increasingly incompetent - in equal measure. I haven't watched yet, but I will. I always like to watch things that are very popular. Maybe I'll get addicted."

This leads us nicely to the talk of the internet today - the 'interview' with TOWIE star Gemma Collins in the latest edition of Now Magazine. Ms Collins had been scheduled into the Now interviewing diary to talk about her book "The GC: How To Be a Diva" but things swiftly took a nosedive when it emerged the interviewer had not read it.

Usually at this point you would either expect the interview to be binned off as a missed opportunity or for the journalist to scratch around and try and save the situation with a hefty amount of editing later on. Not Now magazine who decided to print the exchange between interviewer and Ms Collins verbatim, as Ms Collins became increasingly incensed about the fact the magazine was not even in possession of her book, never mind having read it.

The book, as Ms Collins did manage to inform us at some point midway through the excruciatingly embarrassing yet mirthful exchange, was inspired by Kim Kardashian's book of quotes "Kim's Pocket Wisdom".

But there's more. Ms Collins has since appeared on Loose Women where she let slip that Gemma Collins may not have read Gemma Collin's book (or indeed written it). She said, with no evident sense of shame, that she had not actually sat there and written her book but instead "someone followed her round with a dictaphone and she talked into one". By which this reporter is very sure she believes she literally talked her book into creation, in manner of God creating the world in Genesis.

Finally, we move from Now magazine to Take A Break and the story, which has equally been doing the rounds on Twitter, of Lillian Smith who attended a wedding with a bath puff in her hair instead of a fascinator.

Featuring in the magazine's regular "Top Tips" section, Ms Smith from Preston, recounts how she experienced a fruitless search for the perfect fascinator in the desired shade of blue to match her outfit and, bowled over by a flash of inspiration, she got back up again and attached a bath puff to her head with a hair clip and declared it was perfect.

Fascinators are teeny tiny hats usually attached to the head by some kind of alice band and were mighty popular in the 1990s, with even top milliners Philip Treacy and Isabella Blow churning them out for high flying occasions. But according to Ms Smith we can say ta ta to that, as she suggests we all opt for a bath puff in an appropriate colour instead. You can buy one here.

Well, what conclusions can we draw from all that then? Are we still basking in a period of harmless eccentricity or have we let our brains be filled up with so much tripe, that in actual fact we've all lost the plot? This reporter will let you decide? She has absolutely...

nothing...

to...

say...

on the matter...

except...

TRIPE, TRIPE, TRIPE (apart the bath puff - that may be genius).





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020.

The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up.
Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people.
A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions.
In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives This R…

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off.

Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version.

A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported.

He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig).

However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner.

Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war' leafle…

Holidaymakers marooned in a sandstorm and the UK public loses its Eurovision vote

FROM the British tourists stranded in the Canary Islands thanks to a Sahara sandstorm, to the public banned from voting for the UK entry to Eurovision, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Monday 24th February 2020.

Holidaymakers have been left stranded at airports in the Canary Islands after a Sahara sandstorm left the destination coated with dust, and reduced visibility for flying.
Flights from locations including Gran Canaria and Lanzarote were grounded due to the weather conditions leaving passengers forced to sit, and even sleep, on the dirty airport floors.
Holidayers complained about poor customer service when it came to receiving information on flights and organising temporary accommodation, with the general feeling amongst the British being, it was an absolute outrage they were having to extend their holiday by several days.
As reward posters go up on lampposts for the immediate return of commonsense, it has been revealed that despite the recent storms battering the…

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..."

Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again.

So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home".

The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations.

Try the Ophelia cocktail ring, available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats' sword.…

The porn star set to topple Trump and the horse suit by Chloe

Is it an indictment of the holes in America's political system or the fact we have learnt so much post-Harvey Weinstein, that the most likely person to knock President Donald Trump off his narcissistic perch is a porn star going by the name of Stormy Daniels? Or perhaps, as many are joyfully claiming, it is because this porn star has become a feminist hero - her voice, rather than her body, her super power.

There have been murmurings for some time of how Trump employed the services of Stormy, real name Stephanie Clifford, to provide some bedroom entertainment - shall we say - shortly after his wife Melania gave birth to his youngest son back in 2006.

But it is only now as Stormy, as we shall call her, has announced she is suing the former American Apprentice star for slamming a non-disclosure agreement on her, that we are seeing just how pivotal and important a figure this adult film star could become in what happens to Trump next.

As anyone who follows the misogynistic transgress…