Skip to main content

Melvyn Bragg on Love Island, Gemma Collins' book and the bath puff fascinator

So reader - the question to chew over as you peruse this reporter's latest scrawl is, in 2018, is Britain still a country of cumbersome, yet endearing, oddballs, or have we simply declined into thoughtless stupidity? Let's see...

Melvyn Bragg appears to think the latter. The broadcaster and Labour peer, in an interview for the Radio Times, said Britain is becoming a stupid country (you see) except for 'certain highlights'. He blamed much of this decline on the country's university system, which he said, despite being the best in the world, was being slowly and carelessly destroyed.

Mr Bragg also referenced Britain's television output, saying he saw some hope in the work of actors Hugh Grant and Benedict Cumberbatch in 'A Very English Scandal' and 'Patrick Melrose' respectively, but he feared 'Love Island' was a dismal sign of the times - but curiously, did not rule out watching it.

He said: "The popularity of series like Love Island show that we're becoming increasingly eccentric and increasingly incompetent - in equal measure. I haven't watched yet, but I will. I always like to watch things that are very popular. Maybe I'll get addicted."

This leads us nicely to the talk of the internet today - the 'interview' with TOWIE star Gemma Collins in the latest edition of Now Magazine. Ms Collins had been scheduled into the Now interviewing diary to talk about her book "The GC: How To Be a Diva" but things swiftly took a nosedive when it emerged the interviewer had not read it.

Usually at this point you would either expect the interview to be binned off as a missed opportunity or for the journalist to scratch around and try and save the situation with a hefty amount of editing later on. Not Now magazine who decided to print the exchange between interviewer and Ms Collins verbatim, as Ms Collins became increasingly incensed about the fact the magazine was not even in possession of her book, never mind having read it.

The book, as Ms Collins did manage to inform us at some point midway through the excruciatingly embarrassing yet mirthful exchange, was inspired by Kim Kardashian's book of quotes "Kim's Pocket Wisdom".

But there's more. Ms Collins has since appeared on Loose Women where she let slip that Gemma Collins may not have read Gemma Collin's book (or indeed written it). She said, with no evident sense of shame, that she had not actually sat there and written her book but instead "someone followed her round with a dictaphone and she talked into one". By which this reporter is very sure she believes she literally talked her book into creation, in manner of God creating the world in Genesis.

Finally, we move from Now magazine to Take A Break and the story, which has equally been doing the rounds on Twitter, of Lillian Smith who attended a wedding with a bath puff in her hair instead of a fascinator.

Featuring in the magazine's regular "Top Tips" section, Ms Smith from Preston, recounts how she experienced a fruitless search for the perfect fascinator in the desired shade of blue to match her outfit and, bowled over by a flash of inspiration, she got back up again and attached a bath puff to her head with a hair clip and declared it was perfect.

Fascinators are teeny tiny hats usually attached to the head by some kind of alice band and were mighty popular in the 1990s, with even top milliners Philip Treacy and Isabella Blow churning them out for high flying occasions. But according to Ms Smith we can say ta ta to that, as she suggests we all opt for a bath puff in an appropriate colour instead. You can buy one here.

Well, what conclusions can we draw from all that then? Are we still basking in a period of harmless eccentricity or have we let our brains be filled up with so much tripe, that in actual fact we've all lost the plot? This reporter will let you decide? She has absolutely...

nothing...

to...

say...

on the matter...

except...

TRIPE, TRIPE, TRIPE (apart the bath puff - that may be genius).





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cameron's Comeback, "The Grid" and a Passport to Chic

WITH the bad boys of Brexit back in town and no feasible escape from this rapidly sinking island, all hope clings to a leather dress. Welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

Prime Minister Theresa May will be interrogated by children, we learnt, after signing up to appear on Sky Kids news programme 'FYI'. Mrs May is famed for shirking the TV interview - besides which, serious television journalists appear to have lost their (news) sense - so it looks like it falls to the youngest and let's face it, far more assiduous minds, to ask Mrs May how much more it will take to sack off Brexit?
And here's the very man we'll say arguably, but in all fairness we mean actually, got us into this mess in the first place. Namely David Cameron, letting slip to his friends he was bored witless putting his trotters up in his second shepherd's hut in Nice, and wanted to return to front line politics. His remorseless eyes set on the post of foreign secretary.…

The Ginormous Lego Orangutan and Johnson & Johnson's Minty Youth Shots

WELCOME to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up live from Brexit Island, where ginormous Lego orangutans rampage and we clamour for Johnson & Johnson's youth-giving minty shots. Not suitable for those of nervous disposition - there may be scenes of a sexual nature and episodes of political absurdity readers will find disturbing.

Soundbite from Prime Minister Theresa May live last night (Wednesday): "Thank Christ for that", as Cabinet agreed to the draft Brexit withdrawal agreement after a tempestuous five hour long meeting.
Yes, it has been quite the week on Brexit Island, as Britain is now officially called, with promises as tantalising as a Victorian peep show that Mrs May and the EU27 were going to draft up an agreement in time. As frequently we heard "there's no chance gov'nor" as the more upbeat, "stay tuned".
As is custom, Mrs May's relief was to be short-lived however, as she lost Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab to r…

Drug Stockpiling, Deep Fried Crap Land and the Tech Worker Fleece

FROM urgent calls for patients to stockpile their own medicine and Legoland renamed "Deep Fried Crap Land", to the tech worker's wardrobe essential - the fleece, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

Patients are being urged to start stockpiling their own drugs as soon as it looks likely the UK will leave the EU with no deal. This is the message from the pharmaceutical industry as they warn MPs a no deal Brexit will be "catastrophic" for medicine supplies.

Pharmaceutical bods elaborated, government contingency plans for suppliers to stockpile several weeks of drugs were insufficient and there were no facilities at ports to store drugs at low temperatures in event of delays. They pleaded the next phase of plans should be put in place. Meanwhile This Reporter urges immediate raids of pharmacies. Just don't say who sent you.

It's fair to say Donald Trump has never had the riches of the English language at his fingertips but the Pres…

Mail Bombs, Ross from Friends and the Dr Marten Boots

FROM the suspected bombs sent out to Trump's critics and Ross from Friends in the frame with Blackpool police, to the resurgence of picket line favourite - the Dr Marten boot, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

In the words of many a newspaper columnist, "the rhetoric became real" yesterday (Wednesday) as it emerged suspected explosives had been sent to a host of prominent Donald Trump critics including former President Barack Obama and Democrat presidential nominee Hilary Clinton. The "bombs" were intercepted by the US Secret Service. On the same day the CNN studios in New York were evacuated after a "live explosive device" was found in its mail room.

New York police commissioner James O-Neill said the targets may have been selected due to their opposition to Trump. And Trump's constant rhetoric of violence towards his opponents - including most recently praising the "slam-dunking" of a Guardian journalist - i…

Body Double, Plastic Bottle Currency and the Burberry Giant Tote

FROM Khashoggi's body double and plastic bottle currency, to the return of the super-sized tote bag, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

CCTV footage has "suddenly" emerged of what appears to be a body double dressed up in murdered journalist Jamal Khashoggi's clothes. It is believed the doppelganger donned Khashoggi's clothes and a fake beard and intentionally made sure he was captured on CCTV in a bid to pretend Khashoggi was still alive. The rookie error came where it can be clearly seen the Saudi agent kept his own trainers on.

Meanwhile Turkish President Recep Tayyio Erdogan has expressed his determination to get to the bottom of what happened to Khashoggi after he entered the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul, by addressing Parliament with a speech compiling all the leaks, evidence and speculation on the case so far in order to expose the "naked truth" of the Saudi Government's involvement.

Threats of violence against Prime…