Skip to main content

Moon milk, a neutral Meghan Markle and Melania's jacket

A cup of moon milk my compadre? It's what they're all drinking over on instagram. And this story is spiced with a little more sensation than perhaps you heretofore realised, as it has quite radicalised the "trendies" approach to all things diary.

Being lactose intolerant was previously a badge of honor. Simply looking at a cow at 50 paces brings you out in hives? - You're in. But now the lustful status of food allergies has well and truly been questioned with the introduction of this moon milk. (There's not even a vegan option - this milk comes from the real-life, for-to-mentioned, moo cows).

Moon milk, to give it its proper introduction, is a warm drink derived from Ayuverdic traditions and typically made from a mixture of honey, cinnamon and (whispers) milk. The drink, and this reporter quotes, is used in the ancient holistic practice of Ayuverda as a remedy for sleep deprivation and is usually consumed before bed. (We're all with this so far aren't we?) There's more...

One of the core principles of Ayuverda is finding a harmonised approach to the mind, body and spirit and good sleep is 'obviously' an important part of that. Moon milk is also praised for its stress-relieving properties. (We'll take a bucket full of it for when we get to today's headlines).

The best bit, and the instragrammable bit, is you can alter the colour of the milk from white (in case we need to remind the trendies what colour it is) to a whole Farrow and Ball paint chart worth of different colours - golden, purple, blue - by adding natural colourants such as matcha powder, beetroot extract and turmeric.

Talking of which, the media has been whipped up into a frenzy (OK there's been one article) over the observation that the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, has been spotted wearing nothing but neutral colours since she got married.

There has been much debate - again in that one article - over why this is. Formerly she has been a fan of bold colours, Stylist Magazine declares - and this reporter concurs Meghan was certainly spotted out and about pre-marriage in, (shock, horror) navy - but since marriage, all whites, beiges and taupes.

Apparently, Meghan's wardrobe overhaul is in respect to her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, who herself favours a bright colour palate and Meghan does not wish to rival her. Let's go for a little run through what Meghan has worn on recent formal occasions, whilst our moon milk cools down. There's been a custom-made off-the-shoulder blush Caroline Herrera dress which she wore to Trooping of the Colour, a cream midi Givenchy dress she chose for her recent trip to Chester with the Queen and a pink Goat dress which she wore for Prince Charles' 70th birthday bash.

Now this reporter has done some research and panic ye not. Goat is a proper designer. The goat dress was neither a fancy dress costume or a revelation of Meghan's secret thoughts on her father-in-law, though in fact there is still scope, this reporter surmises, for it to be the latter.

The trouble is, weren't we all hoping Meghan would turn out to be anything but neutral?

Time for the news and let's be honest, it starts and finishes today with Melania Trump's jacket. The American First Lady was to all intents and purposes doing good by appearing to independently go off and visit detained children at the Mexican border yesterday (Thursday) in a bid to hastily reunite them with their parents.

There was hope, we all thought, for the Trump administration yet. Melania appeared to be breaking rank 'good and proper' with her husband and using her influential position to rectify some of the damage he had caused.

Then we saw the back of the jacket she wore for the trip - a olive green parka which can be purchased for just 39 dollars of your hard earned money from Zara, coming complete with the slogan "I don't care, do U?" emblazoned across the back.

There has been much talk about what this slogan can mean. Was it addressed - curiously - at the plight of the children? Was it a direct statement to Trump who she appeared to be defying? Was it a major slip up on her part - the worst kind of wardrobe malfunction?

Many an article and tweet on the internet has been desperately trying to make sense of it. This reporter can assure, but certainly not reassure, you that none of the above explanations fit. The coat was quite simply a distraction from the real issues in hand. The slogan means absolutely everything and nothing all at once. It is simply yet another chapter in the Trump manipulation game - and we have all fallen for it.

Anyone for more moon milk?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

All aboard the pizza ferry, headed for absolutely nowhere new

THIS Reporter wishes to express her fathomless thanks to the Westminster crew, none of whom decided to take upon themselves the tired old trope of making new year's resolutions - on off chance a better version of themselves existed - and instead continue in the exact same farcical way they blundered through 2018. Because despite the fact ministers had, in theory, laid their dispatch boxes on beds of tinsel for the duration of Christmastide, there is still much for us to catch up with. First, but by no means foremost, Sajid Javid, Home Secretary - who it has reached This Reporter via the rumour mill likes to call himself "The Saj" - perhaps short for Sergeant but more likely, Sajid - cut short his luxury £1,000-plus a night safari festive break in South Africa to rush back and deal with what he coined a "migrant crisis" but in reality was two brave souls casting out across the Channel in a rubber dinghy. Nevertheless, Javid called for immediate clampdown on th

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020. A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it. But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people&#

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Summer Riots, Eskimos and Camping It Up at the MET

THERE will be riots on the streets if the Government continues to roll out its controversial Universal Credit benefits system. That is the warning from former Prime Minister Gordon Brown who predicts a return to poll tax-style chaos and a summer of discontent if Theresa May does not call a halt to the scheme. The Universal Credit system combines six benefits in one and is set for a full national roll out next year, despite countless reports of claimants already on it being plunged into dire financial straits as a result. Mr Brown said: "Surely the greatest burning injustice of all is children having to go to school ill-clad and hungry. It is the poverty of the innocent - of children too young to know they are not to blame". This Reporter comments, it really must be a sign of the times, that Gordon Brown returning as Prime Minister seems a welcome idea. Moving on and President of America, Donald Trump has declared his daughter Ivanka would be "dynamite" as the

Neon, General Strike and BBC "Funky" Two

IN a world where the "people's voice" is being used more as a catchphrase than an actual signal of mass opinion, it is no wonder fashion types are reaching for neon. The traditional preserve of roadside workers and 90s rave fanatics, all garments in bold and brash, fluorescent hues are bang on trend for autumn. This obsession with a retina burning colour palate can only be down to our collective sense of being all but invisible, This Reporter muses. Though others would blame the trend setting power of neon-loving wallflower Kim Kardashian. Wherever you plan to pin the impetus, lime greens, shocking pinks and fluoro yellows are the only colours to be seen in this season (and boy will you be seen), whether hi vis evening wear, neon knits, colour-clash separates or standout accessories, being your chosen poison. This Reporter is, tentatively, opting for this over-sized neon pink turtleneck from Zara. If she hasn't the guts to wear it, she'll stick it on a flagpo