Skip to main content

Moon milk, a neutral Meghan Markle and Melania's jacket

A cup of moon milk my compadre? It's what they're all drinking over on instagram. And this story is spiced with a little more sensation than perhaps you heretofore realised, as it has quite radicalised the "trendies" approach to all things diary.

Being lactose intolerant was previously a badge of honor. Simply looking at a cow at 50 paces brings you out in hives? - You're in. But now the lustful status of food allergies has well and truly been questioned with the introduction of this moon milk. (There's not even a vegan option - this milk comes from the real-life, for-to-mentioned, moo cows).

Moon milk, to give it its proper introduction, is a warm drink derived from Ayuverdic traditions and typically made from a mixture of honey, cinnamon and (whispers) milk. The drink, and this reporter quotes, is used in the ancient holistic practice of Ayuverda as a remedy for sleep deprivation and is usually consumed before bed. (We're all with this so far aren't we?) There's more...

One of the core principles of Ayuverda is finding a harmonised approach to the mind, body and spirit and good sleep is 'obviously' an important part of that. Moon milk is also praised for its stress-relieving properties. (We'll take a bucket full of it for when we get to today's headlines).

The best bit, and the instragrammable bit, is you can alter the colour of the milk from white (in case we need to remind the trendies what colour it is) to a whole Farrow and Ball paint chart worth of different colours - golden, purple, blue - by adding natural colourants such as matcha powder, beetroot extract and turmeric.

Talking of which, the media has been whipped up into a frenzy (OK there's been one article) over the observation that the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, has been spotted wearing nothing but neutral colours since she got married.

There has been much debate - again in that one article - over why this is. Formerly she has been a fan of bold colours, Stylist Magazine declares - and this reporter concurs Meghan was certainly spotted out and about pre-marriage in, (shock, horror) navy - but since marriage, all whites, beiges and taupes.

Apparently, Meghan's wardrobe overhaul is in respect to her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, who herself favours a bright colour palate and Meghan does not wish to rival her. Let's go for a little run through what Meghan has worn on recent formal occasions, whilst our moon milk cools down. There's been a custom-made off-the-shoulder blush Caroline Herrera dress which she wore to Trooping of the Colour, a cream midi Givenchy dress she chose for her recent trip to Chester with the Queen and a pink Goat dress which she wore for Prince Charles' 70th birthday bash.

Now this reporter has done some research and panic ye not. Goat is a proper designer. The goat dress was neither a fancy dress costume or a revelation of Meghan's secret thoughts on her father-in-law, though in fact there is still scope, this reporter surmises, for it to be the latter.

The trouble is, weren't we all hoping Meghan would turn out to be anything but neutral?

Time for the news and let's be honest, it starts and finishes today with Melania Trump's jacket. The American First Lady was to all intents and purposes doing good by appearing to independently go off and visit detained children at the Mexican border yesterday (Thursday) in a bid to hastily reunite them with their parents.

There was hope, we all thought, for the Trump administration yet. Melania appeared to be breaking rank 'good and proper' with her husband and using her influential position to rectify some of the damage he had caused.

Then we saw the back of the jacket she wore for the trip - a olive green parka which can be purchased for just 39 dollars of your hard earned money from Zara, coming complete with the slogan "I don't care, do U?" emblazoned across the back.

There has been much talk about what this slogan can mean. Was it addressed - curiously - at the plight of the children? Was it a direct statement to Trump who she appeared to be defying? Was it a major slip up on her part - the worst kind of wardrobe malfunction?

Many an article and tweet on the internet has been desperately trying to make sense of it. This reporter can assure, but certainly not reassure, you that none of the above explanations fit. The coat was quite simply a distraction from the real issues in hand. The slogan means absolutely everything and nothing all at once. It is simply yet another chapter in the Trump manipulation game - and we have all fallen for it.

Anyone for more moon milk?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020.

The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up.
Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people.
A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions.
In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives This R…

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off.

Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version.

A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported.

He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig).

However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner.

Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war' leafle…

Holidaymakers marooned in a sandstorm and the UK public loses its Eurovision vote

FROM the British tourists stranded in the Canary Islands thanks to a Sahara sandstorm, to the public banned from voting for the UK entry to Eurovision, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Monday 24th February 2020.

Holidaymakers have been left stranded at airports in the Canary Islands after a Sahara sandstorm left the destination coated with dust, and reduced visibility for flying.
Flights from locations including Gran Canaria and Lanzarote were grounded due to the weather conditions leaving passengers forced to sit, and even sleep, on the dirty airport floors.
Holidayers complained about poor customer service when it came to receiving information on flights and organising temporary accommodation, with the general feeling amongst the British being, it was an absolute outrage they were having to extend their holiday by several days.
As reward posters go up on lampposts for the immediate return of commonsense, it has been revealed that despite the recent storms battering the…

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..."

Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again.

So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home".

The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations.

Try the Ophelia cocktail ring, available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats' sword.…

The porn star set to topple Trump and the horse suit by Chloe

Is it an indictment of the holes in America's political system or the fact we have learnt so much post-Harvey Weinstein, that the most likely person to knock President Donald Trump off his narcissistic perch is a porn star going by the name of Stormy Daniels? Or perhaps, as many are joyfully claiming, it is because this porn star has become a feminist hero - her voice, rather than her body, her super power.

There have been murmurings for some time of how Trump employed the services of Stormy, real name Stephanie Clifford, to provide some bedroom entertainment - shall we say - shortly after his wife Melania gave birth to his youngest son back in 2006.

But it is only now as Stormy, as we shall call her, has announced she is suing the former American Apprentice star for slamming a non-disclosure agreement on her, that we are seeing just how pivotal and important a figure this adult film star could become in what happens to Trump next.

As anyone who follows the misogynistic transgress…