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Moon milk, a neutral Meghan Markle and Melania's jacket

A cup of moon milk my compadre? It's what they're all drinking over on instagram. And this story is spiced with a little more sensation than perhaps you heretofore realised, as it has quite radicalised the "trendies" approach to all things diary.

Being lactose intolerant was previously a badge of honor. Simply looking at a cow at 50 paces brings you out in hives? - You're in. But now the lustful status of food allergies has well and truly been questioned with the introduction of this moon milk. (There's not even a vegan option - this milk comes from the real-life, for-to-mentioned, moo cows).

Moon milk, to give it its proper introduction, is a warm drink derived from Ayuverdic traditions and typically made from a mixture of honey, cinnamon and (whispers) milk. The drink, and this reporter quotes, is used in the ancient holistic practice of Ayuverda as a remedy for sleep deprivation and is usually consumed before bed. (We're all with this so far aren't we?) There's more...

One of the core principles of Ayuverda is finding a harmonised approach to the mind, body and spirit and good sleep is 'obviously' an important part of that. Moon milk is also praised for its stress-relieving properties. (We'll take a bucket full of it for when we get to today's headlines).

The best bit, and the instragrammable bit, is you can alter the colour of the milk from white (in case we need to remind the trendies what colour it is) to a whole Farrow and Ball paint chart worth of different colours - golden, purple, blue - by adding natural colourants such as matcha powder, beetroot extract and turmeric.

Talking of which, the media has been whipped up into a frenzy (OK there's been one article) over the observation that the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, has been spotted wearing nothing but neutral colours since she got married.

There has been much debate - again in that one article - over why this is. Formerly she has been a fan of bold colours, Stylist Magazine declares - and this reporter concurs Meghan was certainly spotted out and about pre-marriage in, (shock, horror) navy - but since marriage, all whites, beiges and taupes.

Apparently, Meghan's wardrobe overhaul is in respect to her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, who herself favours a bright colour palate and Meghan does not wish to rival her. Let's go for a little run through what Meghan has worn on recent formal occasions, whilst our moon milk cools down. There's been a custom-made off-the-shoulder blush Caroline Herrera dress which she wore to Trooping of the Colour, a cream midi Givenchy dress she chose for her recent trip to Chester with the Queen and a pink Goat dress which she wore for Prince Charles' 70th birthday bash.

Now this reporter has done some research and panic ye not. Goat is a proper designer. The goat dress was neither a fancy dress costume or a revelation of Meghan's secret thoughts on her father-in-law, though in fact there is still scope, this reporter surmises, for it to be the latter.

The trouble is, weren't we all hoping Meghan would turn out to be anything but neutral?

Time for the news and let's be honest, it starts and finishes today with Melania Trump's jacket. The American First Lady was to all intents and purposes doing good by appearing to independently go off and visit detained children at the Mexican border yesterday (Thursday) in a bid to hastily reunite them with their parents.

There was hope, we all thought, for the Trump administration yet. Melania appeared to be breaking rank 'good and proper' with her husband and using her influential position to rectify some of the damage he had caused.

Then we saw the back of the jacket she wore for the trip - a olive green parka which can be purchased for just 39 dollars of your hard earned money from Zara, coming complete with the slogan "I don't care, do U?" emblazoned across the back.

There has been much talk about what this slogan can mean. Was it addressed - curiously - at the plight of the children? Was it a direct statement to Trump who she appeared to be defying? Was it a major slip up on her part - the worst kind of wardrobe malfunction?

Many an article and tweet on the internet has been desperately trying to make sense of it. This reporter can assure, but certainly not reassure, you that none of the above explanations fit. The coat was quite simply a distraction from the real issues in hand. The slogan means absolutely everything and nothing all at once. It is simply yet another chapter in the Trump manipulation game - and we have all fallen for it.

Anyone for more moon milk?


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