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Multi-bagging, the Trump tube strike and female football commentators

Crashes in, flings something large and unwieldy into the corner of the room and flops down into her desk chair.

Reader - this reporter is having a mare. She has had to drag that thing - points, inexplicably, (deliriously) towards the ceiling - up stairs and down stairs, on and off the tube, and if she had a pound for every person who shouted "Watch it Grandma" she would now be as rich as one of Nigel Farage's hedge fund mates.

But we must dwell no longer on this reporter's self-inflicted dramas. We are here today to talk about "multi-bagging". Now this reporter firmly suggests you do not let your mind wander over what this could actually be - it is neither good for mind, body - nor soul.

She feels it expedient to bust down the wall of confusion tout suite and explain "multi-bagging" is the act of carrying around more than one bag. Yes, it really is that simple. And it's become a fashion thing thanks to pop star Rhianna who was 'caught' doing it at Paris Fashion Week.

She had what appeared to be the whole of Louis Vuitton's bag collection slung about her person but, a more sensible journalist within the Guardian's fashion pages has explained, amounted to just three of the designer's new spring 2019 collection - the Keepall duffle bag, the Danube bag worn as a belt bag and the Petite Boite Chapeau.

Of course the practise of "multi-bagging" is something which many of us are already acquainted with out of pure necessity but this reporter has to break it to you - you are not going to make it into the pages of a glossy magazine for carrying your old canvas tote bag, your standard issue black cross body handbag and a Tesco carrier bag all at once.

This reporter does have a solution to all of this however and it's that contraption, which she has flung into the corner there - the shopping bag on wheels as favoured by the old folk. The actual practicality of having to pull all your stuff along behind you down busy streets strewn with carefree satchel wearers has proved mighty testing this morning, this reporter can tell you, but with the right 'brand to celebrity' endorsement - she has in mind Taylor Swift - this idea could be a goer. You can even get one here - at Argos.

Time for the news headlines and this reporter was delighted to read that tube workers will be striking on the day of Donald Trump's visit to London on July 13th. She was less delighted to discover on further reading that the strike was not actually as a direct result of the most odious of presidents coming to the UK but was a standard strike over working conditions and pay. The date was nothing but a co-incidence but could put a spanner in the works for those bottom wagglers hoping to use the tube to get to their destination.

Meanwhile, the saga that is Boris Johnson rumbles on with the news that the government is giving him the "cold shoulder" since he went awol in Afghanistan rather than vote on Heathrow's third runway. This reporter's favourite quote, from an unknown MP,  regarding the cold-shouldering has to be: "He was giving his usual bollocks about Brexit but ministers are losing patience with him". It's these moments that get you through, isn't it.

Finally, slicing through the jocularity comes former Chelsea footballer Jason Cundy, who has been forced to apologise after saying he prefers men to commentate football matches because women's "high pitched" voices grate on him. It was, unfortunately, Piers Morgan who called him out as a "sexist pig" for making the comment on Good Morning Britain and appears to have come off the back of an increased amount of women fronting news reports and commentary around the globe during this World Cup.

And of course, Mr Cundy is right to be upset about this female invasion of what has heretofore been considered a man's game. This reporter suggests all us females get our wheelie shopping bags and get back to the grocery store where we belong (as quick as these cumbersome contraptions allow anyway). For fear if we stick around here too long, it may be discovered that this is yet another thing we can do just as well as the boys.


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