Cough, cough, splutter, splutter. You must excuse this reporter. She's just been down to her local perfume counter to check out Stormy Daniels' brand new fragrance Truth.
You see, this reporter was curious to see what it was all about and, after being squirted from top to toe in the stuff, it's fair to say she got a little bit more than she bargained for. In fact, this reporter is pretty sure Donald Trump gave a similar excuse in regards to his own encounter with the porn star.
To remind you, lest you have forgot, Ms Daniels is the one suing the American President after he denied "having relations" with her in 2006 shortly after his youngest son was born. Ms Daniels, in good old entrepreneurial spirit, has decided to fight Trump's denials not only through the proper legal channels but, so it appears, through the perfumery shelves.
What most intrigues this reporter about the fragrance is whether it will indeed cause the wearer to speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in manner of a truth elixir? This reporter understands we are not living in a Harry Potter novel (and part of her thinks 'shame', as compared to what's going on in the real world, Voldemort is a walk in the park) but it would certainly make things a little more interesting for a perfume, which is otherwise going to find itself in the Perfume Shop's bargain basement sale next to Britney Spears' Fantasy.
You know, this reporter does declare she thinks the perfume may be beginning to take hold. And what better way to test out its truth telling propensity than a spot of global news.
First up, and talk of the devil, it's the big man himself, Mr Trump who has announced that America will be pulling out of the United Nations human rights council because it is nothing but a "cesspool of political bias". According to the US's ambassador Nikki Haley, America has been calling for reform of the council for over a year, but to no avail.
UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres voiced the feelings of the many when he commented: "Given the state of human rights in today's world, the US should be stepping up, not stepping back".
But this reporter must point out it can be no co-incidence that Trump has decided to pull out of the human rights council the very week he has come under immense fire for abusing the human rights of refugees at the Mexican border by taking their children away.
On that matter, Trump has now come out to say he too does not like to take children away from their parents but that he has no choice because it is written under Democrat law that he must do so. He claims Congress must come up with the legislation which will stop him.
We do all realise at this point don't we that Donald Trump is one toothbrush moustache away from full on Heil Hitler?
Just to further demonstrate world peace is balancing on a precipice, the EU's chief negotiator Michel Barnier has warned that after the UK leaves the union it cannot continue to benefit from EU-wide security and intelligence services including terrorism databases, Europol and surveillance system Galileo.
Mr Barnier said Britain cannot pick and choice which bodies it chooses to remain in but his words have provoked Jeremy Fleming, director of surveillance agency GCHQ, to breach his spy conduct and make a rare intervention into political policy by pointing out the UK has helped break up terrorist operations in four European countries in the last year.
The truth is, Barnier will now say anything to make Britain stay.
Meanwhile, as moves are being made to make medicinal cannabis legal in this country following a huge uproar over the removal of cannabis oil from a 12-year-old epileptic boy called Billy Caldwell, William Hague has been calling for Theresa May to legalise cannabis entirely.
The former Conservative party leader said the UK's drug policy was "inappropriate, ineffective and utterly out-of-date". He continued that it was deluded to think cannabis could be "driven off the streets" and was akin to asking the army to recover the empire. (Good youth reference Haguey).
Theresa May's spokesperson has formally replied by confirming (perhaps unnecessarily) that the Prime Minister has never smoked cannabis and perhaps more importantly, but not as intriguingly, there were no plans to legalise the substance.
Disappointing for many in light of the state of the world.
Now unfortunately it does appear the truth serum is wearing off as this reporter approaches today's fashion fix. And there she was all prepared to give a poor, yet truthful, review of Prada's shearling lined leather sandals saying it looked like two rodents had crept inside and the wearer had accidentally squashed them.
In absense of truth she must now say, what an ingenious idea they are for those who simply cannot decide whether they want they feet to be aerated or cosy.
You see, this reporter was curious to see what it was all about and, after being squirted from top to toe in the stuff, it's fair to say she got a little bit more than she bargained for. In fact, this reporter is pretty sure Donald Trump gave a similar excuse in regards to his own encounter with the porn star.
To remind you, lest you have forgot, Ms Daniels is the one suing the American President after he denied "having relations" with her in 2006 shortly after his youngest son was born. Ms Daniels, in good old entrepreneurial spirit, has decided to fight Trump's denials not only through the proper legal channels but, so it appears, through the perfumery shelves.
What most intrigues this reporter about the fragrance is whether it will indeed cause the wearer to speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in manner of a truth elixir? This reporter understands we are not living in a Harry Potter novel (and part of her thinks 'shame', as compared to what's going on in the real world, Voldemort is a walk in the park) but it would certainly make things a little more interesting for a perfume, which is otherwise going to find itself in the Perfume Shop's bargain basement sale next to Britney Spears' Fantasy.
You know, this reporter does declare she thinks the perfume may be beginning to take hold. And what better way to test out its truth telling propensity than a spot of global news.
First up, and talk of the devil, it's the big man himself, Mr Trump who has announced that America will be pulling out of the United Nations human rights council because it is nothing but a "cesspool of political bias". According to the US's ambassador Nikki Haley, America has been calling for reform of the council for over a year, but to no avail.
UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres voiced the feelings of the many when he commented: "Given the state of human rights in today's world, the US should be stepping up, not stepping back".
But this reporter must point out it can be no co-incidence that Trump has decided to pull out of the human rights council the very week he has come under immense fire for abusing the human rights of refugees at the Mexican border by taking their children away.
On that matter, Trump has now come out to say he too does not like to take children away from their parents but that he has no choice because it is written under Democrat law that he must do so. He claims Congress must come up with the legislation which will stop him.
We do all realise at this point don't we that Donald Trump is one toothbrush moustache away from full on Heil Hitler?
Just to further demonstrate world peace is balancing on a precipice, the EU's chief negotiator Michel Barnier has warned that after the UK leaves the union it cannot continue to benefit from EU-wide security and intelligence services including terrorism databases, Europol and surveillance system Galileo.
Mr Barnier said Britain cannot pick and choice which bodies it chooses to remain in but his words have provoked Jeremy Fleming, director of surveillance agency GCHQ, to breach his spy conduct and make a rare intervention into political policy by pointing out the UK has helped break up terrorist operations in four European countries in the last year.
The truth is, Barnier will now say anything to make Britain stay.
Meanwhile, as moves are being made to make medicinal cannabis legal in this country following a huge uproar over the removal of cannabis oil from a 12-year-old epileptic boy called Billy Caldwell, William Hague has been calling for Theresa May to legalise cannabis entirely.
The former Conservative party leader said the UK's drug policy was "inappropriate, ineffective and utterly out-of-date". He continued that it was deluded to think cannabis could be "driven off the streets" and was akin to asking the army to recover the empire. (Good youth reference Haguey).
Theresa May's spokesperson has formally replied by confirming (perhaps unnecessarily) that the Prime Minister has never smoked cannabis and perhaps more importantly, but not as intriguingly, there were no plans to legalise the substance.
Disappointing for many in light of the state of the world.
Now unfortunately it does appear the truth serum is wearing off as this reporter approaches today's fashion fix. And there she was all prepared to give a poor, yet truthful, review of Prada's shearling lined leather sandals saying it looked like two rodents had crept inside and the wearer had accidentally squashed them.
In absense of truth she must now say, what an ingenious idea they are for those who simply cannot decide whether they want they feet to be aerated or cosy.
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