Skip to main content

The Jilly Cooper interview, a ground-breaking cure for cancer and the Rock n' Rose hair scarf

"Fame I'm gonna live forever..."

Good afternoon and welcome back to a special, roadshow edition of Fame, the celebrity spotlight televisual programme presented by none other than yours truly, This Reporter.

Here we are squirreled away in a delightful cattle shed somewhere deep in the British countryside waiting for this afternoon's guest to arrive. She is a journalist and prolific best-selling author. With novels including "Rider", "Jump" and "Mount" she is undeniably the queen of the "posh bonkbuster". Here to talk about modern men, starting out and Germaine Greer's latest contentious comments on rape, ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Jilly Cooper OBE.

Press play on the ghetto blaster Gary.

"Keep rollin', rollin', rollin. Though the streams are swollen. Keep them dogies rollin', rawhide..."

This Reporter: Jilly Cooper. Welcome. Pull up a hay bale.

Jilly Cooper: Why thank-you. (Looks around uncertainly, eyeing a cow pat on the floor nearby). What a lovely location you have here.

This Reporter: (oblivious) Thanks very much. Now Jilly, down to business as they say and I wanted to first ask your opinion on the modern man.

Jilly Cooper: (laughs) Men cry all the time now. The whole time, always crying. And they have beards. I have an adorable gay friend who has lost his partner. He's just started going on the internet now and said it is extraordinary - it is all married men waiting to have gay affairs. Do you think they are so terrified of women now it is safer to go with their own sex?

TR: (hoping it's a rhetorical question, moves on) You started out on your writing career as a journalist. Can you recall how you got your first big break?

JC: Oh yes, I joined the Sunday Times Magazine as a columnist in 1969 and I remember having lunch with the editor Godfrey Smith. I said "Oh, it is so difficult being a young wife. One gets up in the morning, one goes to work, one comes home, one cleans one's flat, one cooks dinner, one washes one's husband's clothes, one goes to bed and has sex all night. And it starts all over again. After six months you die of exhaustion". He roared with laughter and said: "Write about that".

TR: Germaine Greer has caused controversy recently by saying the punishment for rape should be reduced and it should not be seen as a violent crime but mostly lazy, careless and insensitive. What is your opinion on that?

JC: I think she's terribly clever. I think she's brilliant, but is there a word for applause junkie? Is that terribly rude? I don't want to be rude. I think she's wonderful, but I think she will say something outrageous just to get everybody going.

TR: (nods in agreement) Well, Jilly. It has been a pleasure. Everyone please put your hands together once again for Jilly Cooper.

Jilly gets up and almost immediately skids on the cow pat and takes a tumble into a nearby haystack.

This reporter shakes her head sadly before bellowing "tractor for Jilly". That's another one that won't be back.

"...people will see me and cry".

Thankfully the fashion world can be relied upon for a solution. Fashionistas declare your ponytail is starkly under dressed without this summer's must-have accessory, the hair scarf. Tie it around your ponytail or knot it around a high bun to guarantee the most stylish tresses in town - or country. Try this one from Rock n' Rose for size.

It's time for the news and MPs have been granted an emergency debate on Northern Ireland's abortion ban. This comes after Prime Minister Theresa May refused to get involved with the issue following a landslide referendum in the Republic of Ireland voting in favour of scraping its own ban on abortion. House of Commons Speaker John Bercow approved Labour MP Stella Creasy's request for the debate, which will take place next Tuesday.

A woman has been completely cured of breast cancer after doctors tweaked her immune system, enabling it to destroy the tumours that had spread through her body. Judy Perkins from Florida is the first patient to have successfully received an application of T-cell immunotherapy for late-stage breast cancer and has now been cancer free for two years. While the technique is still in its early days, scientist have welcomed its potential as a future treatment for cancer.

Somewhere back in the depths of the countryside...
"You'll be hearing from my lawyer", a slightly harassed looking Jilly shrieks as she's carted off in a wheelbarrow.

Hmmm, we'll be needing more scarfs.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life is a Brexit Waltzer - You Just Gotta Ride It?

WHEN it comes to rip-offs we are being urged this week to look no further than Prada's white cotton T-shirt, retailing for £270. This Reporter states this does rather, in her opinion, overlook a more glaring and ever present rip-off in our lives, which we will look at more thoroughly in due course.
But back to the T-shirt, and words have been voiced over why any right thinking human would purchase the extortionately priced Prada T-shirt when there are all manner of identical alternatives available on the high street?
"You get what you pay for" is the mantra from fashion disciples. However, in that case surely we can expect no less than the whole cast of Enid Blyton's magical Faraway Tree involved in the workmanship, weaving well-being and fortitude into every seam.
The perfect antidote to the sweatshop. But then we are told over at Primark you can buy a pair of socks and come away with a free human bone. Admittedly that wasn't the original Primark marketing strat…

A Full Lashed Brexit Compromise, the Magnum-only Diet and Boiler Suits

FROM a Brexit Backstop compromise guaranteeing full fluttering lashes and the Magnum-only diet, to the post-Brexit fashion must-have, the boiler suit, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

We commence with gutting news for MPs, as it was announced this week the Commons recess, due to begin on 14th February, would be cancelled to allow more time to sort out Brexit. Concerns were naturally aired over child care - not for MPs; but their children (it coincides with school half-term holidays) - but the real "heart breaker" is for the medley of members who had booked their annual skiing holiday, in Europe presumably. Let's pause a moment in our communications to allow the irony truck to pass on by...
Word has it, some MPs still intend to go on their holidays. Not Chris Grayling, banned from Calais, for yet again exercising the IQ level of a broad bean, by failing to let Port Chief Jean-Marc Puissesseau know of his plans to divert boats to other ports i…

Russell Brand's "World View" and the Continuous Brexit Loop and the Continuous Brexit Loop...

COMEDIAN Russell Brand's interview with the Sunday Times has got the country in a tailspin. The gist concerns Mr Brand's "world view" - as he puts it - of being a "sensitive, awake and aware man", clashing, quite considerably, with his responsibilities as a father. To the point, he shamelessly conceded, he'd barely looked after his own children alone in any given 24 hour period.
To quote: "I'm very, very focused on the mythical connotations of Mabel's beauty and grace. Not so good on the nappies and making sure they eat food. When I looked after Mabel on her own, she dropped two social classes."
Mr Brand appears to seek praise for his decision to opt out of parenthood's contractual obligations as though he is akin to a bad driver taking himself off the road (#PrincePhilip). But for those considerate people, there is the train.  For Mr Brand, there's ending up looking a berk.
Sixty-four days to go until we leave the European Uni…

A Continental Knock and Run and "Timeless" Beige

FROM breakout filmic hits "The Great Chimp Escape" and "A Continental Knock and Run Part 436", to the surprising allure of "timeless" beige, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

"Is this hell Prime Minister?" cries a heckler as Theresa May meets with Jean-Claude Juncker. Even before "that" happened, it was always going to be a tricky meeting between Mrs May and EU chiefs in Brussels, as the PM trudged fruitlessly forwards in yet another bid to get them to agree to solve the Irish Backstop problem for her. And all to allegedly appease those back at home in Government, who are getting far too much enjoyment out of egging on their weakest classmate to repeatedly "knock and run" the front door, of a renownedly fearsome neighbour. Zilch, as always, was resolved.
"Give me a little more time", pleaded Mrs May as MPs began to fret over when they would get to have their "meaningful vote" i…

Rudd's resignation, Trump's visit and Kat Von D's indestructible eyeliner

You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I'm telling you why. Donald Trump is coming to town.

More about that later. First, some serious news. (This reporter puts on her most sensible of news reading glasses). The Guardian reports today (Monday) that Amber Rudd has "dramatically" resigned as home secretary after "repeatedly struggling to account for her role in the unjust treatment of Windrush generation migrants."

The documenter of our times continues: "The home secretary was forced to step down after a series of revelations in the Guardian over Windrush culminated in a leak on Friday that appeared to show she was aware of targets for removing illegal migrants from Britain.

"The pressure increased late on Sunday afternoon as the Guardian revealed that in a leaked 2017 letter to Theresa May, Rudd had told the Prime Minister of her intention to increase deportations by 10 per cent - seemingly at odds with her recent denials that she w…