"E, F, P, T, squiggly bit, butterfly, moon man, fairy cake..."
Ah, this reporter almost didn't see you there (wink, wink). Come on in. She's just here at the opticians having her eyes tested. And (lean in a little closer please so she can whisper in your ear) she's pretending she can't see very well so she can get a pair of glasses. She'll explain.
A study conducted by the University of Edinburgh has found intelligent people are likely to wear glasses and so this reporter figures you would be a fool not to go out and get yourself a pair. The new study, published in the journal 'Nature Communications', has found that needing to wear glasses is genuinely associated with higher levels of intelligence and not just a pop culture motif.
The University bods analysed the cognitive and genetic data of over 300,000 people aged between 16 and 102 in the largest ever study of its kind, to conclude that people who were more intelligent - those with a higher cognitive function - were 30 per cent more likely to have genes which might indicate poor eyesight.
Of course these are only correlations and not conclusive facts and what constitutes intelligence can be subjective and hard to define, researchers warned.
Meanwhile it emerges we have all been a little blind in our speculation over where America's First Lady Melania Trump has been hiding out for the past month. It transpires she was at the White House all the time.
Notions have been rife across the whole internet over where Donald Trump's wife has been since she checked into hospital back at the end of April for a "kidney operation", as she has not been seen in the public eye since.
While there were more contained musings that she had undergone a procedure of the cosmetic nature, shall we say, and was lying low to recover, others declared she had had enough of Trump and being in the political spotlight and had scarpered.
Some individuals even went so far as to put down their phones and step back out into the real world to make actual 'Missing Melania' posters and attach them to lampposts.
We were all silenced in our presumptions this week however when it was reported that Melania had in fact made a return to the public arena with her attendance at a White House event in honour of Gold Star Families - those who lost family members in Iraq.
There is only a grainy video of what appears to be Melania at the event as the press were not allowed inside. But after the dinner the first lady was seen to tweet: "Tonight @POTUS and I were honoured to pay tribute to our fallen heroes. Thank you to the Gold Star families that joined us in celebration and remembrance."
She also addressed her absence via Twitter by saying: "I see the media is working overtime speculating where I am and what I'm doing. Rest assured, I'm here at the White House with my family, feeling great and working hard on behalf of children and the American people".
There are still those not convinced, arguing there is no proof it is actually Melania sending those tweets. This reporter is all for a conspiracy theory.
The news headlines are in and Prime Minister Theresa May has decided to give the NHS a "significant increase" in its budget as a 70th birthday present, the Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has revealed. Mrs May intends to ramp up spending in order to show the Conservatives can be trusted to run the NHS and because it needs extra cash to tackle chronic understaffing, cope with the ageing population and improve care, Hunt added.
Home Secretary Sajid Javid has said he wants to introduce a "fairer, more compassionate" immigration system that allows staff greater freedom to use their common sense. Mr Javid said something went "massively" wrong at the Home Office in its handling of the Windrush scandal and the treatment of those affected had not been "personal enough and not sympathetic enough".
Finally, Crayola of wax crayon fame has partnered with ASOS - the online clothing store - to produce its own beauty line. The "Face Crayons" span a rainbow-coloured range of 95 shades and look just like Crayola crayons.
They are multi-purpose and can be used on face, eyes, cheeks and lips and are sold individually or in sets of three, packaged up in the iconic green and yellow Crayola boxes. The idea of the make-up range is to 'scribble' across your face and unleash your "child-like creativity". This reporter suggests you don't put your glasses back on post application.
Ah, this reporter almost didn't see you there (wink, wink). Come on in. She's just here at the opticians having her eyes tested. And (lean in a little closer please so she can whisper in your ear) she's pretending she can't see very well so she can get a pair of glasses. She'll explain.
A study conducted by the University of Edinburgh has found intelligent people are likely to wear glasses and so this reporter figures you would be a fool not to go out and get yourself a pair. The new study, published in the journal 'Nature Communications', has found that needing to wear glasses is genuinely associated with higher levels of intelligence and not just a pop culture motif.
The University bods analysed the cognitive and genetic data of over 300,000 people aged between 16 and 102 in the largest ever study of its kind, to conclude that people who were more intelligent - those with a higher cognitive function - were 30 per cent more likely to have genes which might indicate poor eyesight.
Of course these are only correlations and not conclusive facts and what constitutes intelligence can be subjective and hard to define, researchers warned.
Meanwhile it emerges we have all been a little blind in our speculation over where America's First Lady Melania Trump has been hiding out for the past month. It transpires she was at the White House all the time.
Notions have been rife across the whole internet over where Donald Trump's wife has been since she checked into hospital back at the end of April for a "kidney operation", as she has not been seen in the public eye since.
While there were more contained musings that she had undergone a procedure of the cosmetic nature, shall we say, and was lying low to recover, others declared she had had enough of Trump and being in the political spotlight and had scarpered.
Some individuals even went so far as to put down their phones and step back out into the real world to make actual 'Missing Melania' posters and attach them to lampposts.
We were all silenced in our presumptions this week however when it was reported that Melania had in fact made a return to the public arena with her attendance at a White House event in honour of Gold Star Families - those who lost family members in Iraq.
There is only a grainy video of what appears to be Melania at the event as the press were not allowed inside. But after the dinner the first lady was seen to tweet: "Tonight @POTUS and I were honoured to pay tribute to our fallen heroes. Thank you to the Gold Star families that joined us in celebration and remembrance."
She also addressed her absence via Twitter by saying: "I see the media is working overtime speculating where I am and what I'm doing. Rest assured, I'm here at the White House with my family, feeling great and working hard on behalf of children and the American people".
There are still those not convinced, arguing there is no proof it is actually Melania sending those tweets. This reporter is all for a conspiracy theory.
The news headlines are in and Prime Minister Theresa May has decided to give the NHS a "significant increase" in its budget as a 70th birthday present, the Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has revealed. Mrs May intends to ramp up spending in order to show the Conservatives can be trusted to run the NHS and because it needs extra cash to tackle chronic understaffing, cope with the ageing population and improve care, Hunt added.
Home Secretary Sajid Javid has said he wants to introduce a "fairer, more compassionate" immigration system that allows staff greater freedom to use their common sense. Mr Javid said something went "massively" wrong at the Home Office in its handling of the Windrush scandal and the treatment of those affected had not been "personal enough and not sympathetic enough".
Finally, Crayola of wax crayon fame has partnered with ASOS - the online clothing store - to produce its own beauty line. The "Face Crayons" span a rainbow-coloured range of 95 shades and look just like Crayola crayons.
They are multi-purpose and can be used on face, eyes, cheeks and lips and are sold individually or in sets of three, packaged up in the iconic green and yellow Crayola boxes. The idea of the make-up range is to 'scribble' across your face and unleash your "child-like creativity". This reporter suggests you don't put your glasses back on post application.
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