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Showing posts from August, 2018

Impeachment, Scallop Wars and the School Blazer

Hello and welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up. And isn't it curious how the fortunes of Britain and America appear to be in perfect accord, as the two greatest disasters in living memory - the election of Trump and the Brexit referendum - have reached an apocalyptic pinnacle this week. The question is, when will we have the time, or opportunity, to buy our new school blazer?

Because politicians are getting ready for a new school term at the exclusive, fee-paying establishment which is Westminster, and this is to be the equivalent of an exam - rather than a 'doss' - year. As a result they have been inflicted with an element of holiday homework, namely the reading up on the No Deal “information papers”, which the Government ummed and ahhed over releasing. For fear the nation would collectively wet itself.
This would have been quite the handy solution, but as to flooding the place, This Reporter has just one question – whether the Dealers or No Deale…

Brexit Titanic, Bond and the Balenciaga Sweater

THE sartorial equivalent of an exploding tin of Alphabetti spaghetti has hit the fashion world this week with the resurgence of the 90s trend for big shouty designer logos emblazoned all over clothes. And This Reporter can see this as no co-incidence of timing, as we witness a political front scant in truth-telling or plain-speaking but instead besmirched by skulduggery, twiddle-twoddle and bare-faced lies. You'll see. Welcome to your news and style round-up.

First up on the news podium is Jeremy Corbyn and listen..."speech, speech, speech, speech". That's the cacophonous call from multiple sides this week for the Labour leader to formally address claims of anti-semitism, both personally, and within his party.

One journalist, Gary Younge, a columnist for The Guardian, has gone so far as to write a speech for him. The gist of it runs that Corbyn must own his past mistakes, but issue the plea he has been more often than not on the right side of history.

Whether Corbyn&…

Space Force, Wreath Gate and the Stealthy Swimsuit

WITH life this week officially perilous on both land and in space, This Reporter suggests we all make like Robinson Crusoe and escape to our very own desert island - with help from the most stealthy of swimsuits. Welcome to your weekly news and style round-up.

Let's take the plunge and yep, we've all fallen for it. Even This Reporter, by nature of writing about it, has fallen for it. Indeed, not since Winnie the Pooh built a trap for a Heffalump only to find out that he was, the Heffalump, has anyone fallen for it, quite so badly.

This Reporter is of course referring to Boris Johnson, who - to his joy - has dominated the news headlines over the past week with his comments on Burka wearing. The recovering Foreign Secretary has been damned by the equalities watchdog for his comments comparing women who don the religious garb to "bank robbers" and "letterboxes".

Prime Minister Theresa May has called for Boris to apologise, in a move Tory undertaker Jacob Rees-…

Three Parties and the Perfect Holiday Dress

WITH the Tories incessant Brexit belching and Corbyn's crawling after dinner speech, This Reporter would rather vote for the perfect holiday dress.

Welcome to this week's news and style round-up and it's going to be something of a three course banquet - so loosen your belts. For starters we come to the Tories and the news they have launched a "secret" investigation into whether there is a link between their austerity measures and the accelerated use of food banks.

When it comes to the conundrum of cause and effect, we are not in the obscure realms of flapping butterfly wings here, but rather (to select a name completely at random, you understand) more a, if George picks up a brick and throws it through a window, and it shatters, do we blame the window, the brick - or George?

Brexit news has cracked on apace. Indeed academics say they have cracked it, with the grand revelation areas of the UK most badly hit by Tory austerity measures were more likely to vote Leave…

Stockpiling and the Last Surviving Pineapple Bag

FROM troops mobilised for Operation Blitz Brexit and Jacob Rees-Mogg's three piece suit on the sand, to the last surviving pineapple bag, This Reporter gives her weekly news and style round-up.


This Reporter greets you with the news that this week Brexit has well and truly spoked off its rocker. The army, they say, is to be drafted in following the inevitable No Deal conclusion, to distribute stockpiled food and medicine, and to deal with civil riots. Isn't that a "comfort".

Slightly more imminently, plans to hand out No Deal pamphlets to prepare us have been shelved, to prevent "panic" or, to quote an anonymous government source, to stop people "s***ing themselves". All This Reporter can say is, it quite clearly transpires voting for Brexit was no different to actively voting for conditions of war. The good news is we may finally deal with the obesity crisis. Perhaps that was the plan all along?

One unlikely individual not prepared to take this N…