Skip to main content

Corbyn's Bodyguard and the People's Vote

SUCH is the nation's obsession with BBC's Bodyguard, This Reporter would argue, that a journalist from the Mirror felt it fitting - nay, par to the course - to ask Jeremy Corbyn's bodyguard what question he should put to the Labour leader during the party conference, underway this week.

Abdul Abouker, for indeed, that is his name (and would we have been even remotely interested in this factoid pre-Keeley Hawes and Richard Madden enlivening our TV sets of a Sunday evening - "no This Reporter, absolutely not") admittedly didn't quite get to the crux of the issues dominating the 2018 Labour Conference in Liverpool - the anti-Semitism, the austerity, the People's Vote (more on that later).

Mr Abouker, 30, suggested Mr Corbyn be asked how he deals with all the stress. The answer, for anyone declaring an interest, is running, exercising, reading and tending his allotment. In between the stress of managing to avoid answering a single question on Brexit for the past 27 months, no doubt.

As to that, after a five hour-long debate on Sunday evening, amid numerous tweets from journalists lamenting they would not be getting back to their hotel rooms in time to watch the Bodyguard finale, the conclusion is Labour have supported a People's Vote on Brexit, in a manner of speaking.

The final draft of the vote, to be set in stone at some point today (Tuesday) and shortly after to be dismantled as gravel over the pathway up to Corbyn's allotment, reads: "If we cannot get a general election, Labour must support all options remaining on the table, including campaigning for a public vote". However, as This Reporter 'went to press' there was still much debate going on within the Labour ranks over whether the public vote would be one on the Brexit deal put before Parliament or one which included a vote to remain in the EU!

As Boris Johnson wrote in his Telegraph column at the weekend: "Corbyn never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity". Even Corbyn's staunch opponents cannot quite believe he is passing up on the golden chance to secure all the votes of those opposing Brexit and thus an almost guaranteed shot at the PM-ship.

And Mr Johnson should know, having based his whole career upon pursuing policies he best calculates will win him the leadership of the country - the Universe. He continued to Corbyn, via the medium of drivel: "It's as obvious as the beard on your face what you should do".

Ironically, the beard on Corbyn's face will be as long as Old Father Time's before we have sorted Brexit out. No wonder we're all more consumed by a fictional Home Secretary's mortality/bonk status. But - and here's a poser for you - perhaps it was Brexit that turned our feverish interest in political TV drama, on?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

BAFTAs, Alabama, "Four Ovens" and Jeremy Kyle

FROM "Killing Eve" cleaning up at the BAFTAs and the rise of Nigel Farage's half-baked Brexit Party, to the trash found at the depths of the ocean which, according to some reports has Jeremy Kyle living under it, to "Four Ovens" MP James Brokenshire, if this week was a grossly out-dated, misogynistic trope, it would be a domestic goddess. All complaints please back date to 1957, where you'll find the Senate of Alabama mulling over their next Gilead-inspired motion. Welcome to This Reporter's Weekly News Journal.

Monday 13th May andget your glad rags on - or not (we'll get to that in a moment) - because our first stop is the BAFTAs where "Killing Eve" cleaned up on the night like any good assassin would, scooping awards for best drama series, best actress and best supporting actress. This was despite chat over whether the programme should have been included in the awards night at all. Some bother about it being screened over in America first…

Spy Whales, Woodcocks and Gavin Williamson's Sacking

TAKE your seats aboard the Corrie (roller) Coaster which, as it dips and troughs throughout the week, will deliver spectacular views of spy whales, woodcocks and Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson's sacking but only rare glimpses of our Prime Minister Theresa May, who appears to be all but missing in action. Free vegetarian Percy Pigs to those who spot her. Welcome to This Reporter's Weekly News Journal.

Monday 29th April and we commence with the news Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt is off on a grand tour of Africa. In joint hopes of boosting his leadership credentials, as well as trade links post-Brexit. Mr Hunt will be accompanied by his Chinese wife Lucia Guo for the five-day, five-nation trip, who he has described at times as "a great diplomatic weapon for the UK", but at other times as Japanese (check out Mr Hunt's gaffe file, circa July 2018).
Labour has spittooned former Tory cabinet minister Damian Green's plans for a shake-up of social care funding as a…

This Reporter's Weekly News Journal - Nudity, Tied Votes and Floods

Monday 1st April 2019 and news-based April Fools gags are indistinguishable from regular reportage. The British are knackered having lost an hours sleep due to the clocks springing forward. None are so "knackered" however as chief government whip Julian Smith who in interview with the BBC said the current Cabinet had shown the "worst example of ill-discipline in the history of British politics" at a time when the person responsible for political discipline, is him. "I'm knackered," he reiterated. "Dealing with colleagues 24/7, sitting around the Cabinet table trying to destabilise the Prime Minister."
Elsewhere, Downing Street, the aforementioned PM Theresa May wakes up from a restless night, a single platitude in her head: "oh bother", as she remembers she still hasn't delivered Brexit. Latest from the DUP runs, should Mrs May bring her deal back a thousand times (likely), they will continue to vote against it every time.
Mean…

Line of Duty, Baby Sussex and Jess Phillip's Rape Threats

SACKED defence secretary Gavin Williamson has mind-powered himself into an episode of "Line of Duty" this week, convinced as he is there is a No.10 smear campaign against him. But there is much more than just this for us to investigate. From MP Jess Phillip's rape threats finally getting police attention and the suspiciously joyful arrival of Baby Sussex, to the flock of sheep enrolling at school, welcome to This Reporter's Weekly News Journal.

Monday 6th May and with the bank holiday allowing no rest for the wicked, the Tories and Labour have mulled over their great losses in the local elections and concluded this means the public just want to see Brexit done. They report they have upped their efforts to find that mecca state of marvellous accord.
Superstar Madonna has proved herself not immune to the tribulations of parenthood as, in an interview to mark the release of  her 183rd studio album, she bemoaned giving her children mobile phones too young. "It ended …

Brexit: Where's Barbara Cartland's magic acorn when you need it?

THERE are no words - quite the technical hitch when it comes to writing - to do justice to the single greatest political calamity of our generation. This Reporter considered instead using expressionist art or shadow puppetry. She would make a concerted effort at it for five minutes before setting fire to the whole damn lot - as symbolism.
As alternative, let's start with the bare-boned facts of the matter. Prime Minister Theresa May lost her second meaningful vote on her Brexit deal in Parliament on Tuesday night by a stonking 391 votes to 242. Not the complete annihilation of meaningless vote part numero one, but still an almost unprecedented disaster.
David Cameron, tracked down at his lair, said: "I don't understand why MPs who have always wanted Brexit keep voting against it". Well David, sometimes people do the most unfathomable of things don't they. But back to the facts.
Mrs May's promise of votes on No Deal and Article 50 extension are coming up next.…