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En Vacance, Weetabix Wars and Corbyn's Speech

THIS Reporter is sure we all agree, the fact we can escape these shores on holiday makes a No Deal Brexit that bit more palatable? In much the same way a life sentence in a maximum security prison is more bearable, with the comforting thought you have the starts of a tunnel behind the Pulp Fiction poster blue-tacked up on your cell wall.

Alas, dear readers, no. That avenue of freedom has been all but barred to us according to the latest, and thankfully, last batch release of No Deal preparation papers. There will be no jaunts over to balmier shores without much advance notice.

According to the paperwork, airlines will lose their automatic right to operate between the UK and the EU without seeking advance permission (some truth in the 'myth' aeroplanes would be grounded then). Pet owners will have to plan months in advance, with numerous vaccinations and blood tests for their cats and dogs before holidaying and UK car insurance will no longer be valid abroad.

And don't think it will be easier to get into this country either. Prime Minister Theresa May has revealed her new post-Brexit immigration policy - the moment the "gammons" have, let's be honest, been waiting for since the beginning of these shenanigans. Visas to immigrants will be based on a tiered system of skills and wealth, with no preferential access to the UK labour market for EU citizens.

In what This Reporter perceives to be a taste of things to come for the UK once we have Brexited, is the tale of Weetabix wars over in New Zealand. More than 100 boxes of British Weetabix are to be destroyed by order of the court after a speciality British grocer's store "A Little Taste of Britain" tried to stock the cereal alongside New Zealand's own version - Weet-Bix.

A judge declared it a "trademark infringement". This Reporter can see it now - supermarket shelves in the UK laid bare of food stuffs post-Brexit, whilst tons of contraband European-branded goods are burnt on gigantic bonfires up on the hills, by hooded Brexiteers in some kind of Satanic-style ritual.

Meanwhile, on planet Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour leader has used his pivotal conference speech to set out his stall for ending "greed-is-good" capitalism. Corbyn talked about a complete overhaul of Britain's economy with a "green jobs revolution" to rebuild and transform the country. This would involve a roll out of green technologies and, in turn, create over 400,000 skilled jobs.

Arguably the kind of fodder that got crowds chanting Corbyn's name pre-Action Corbyn Smear Campaign. However, not much use when the whole country's sailing down Dire-Straits Creek in an empty cereal bowl, because he still won't properly confront the elephant.

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