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Lost Whale, Chequer's MKII and the Buckingham Palace Taser

THE award for immediate and unquestioned action goes this week to the police force that swooped on Buckingham Palace following reports of a mad man trying to bust his way through the security gates with a taser.

There were scenes of frenzied panic as the man, thought to be a terrorist, was 'wrestled to the ground and liberated of his dangerous weapon' (please note, this may be slight embellishment) at the Palace's security scanners. On two counts, initial perceptions were found to be mistaken. The 'terrorist' turned out to be a Netherlands tourist and the dangerous weapon - a taser keyring, banned this side of the Herengracht, but even so.

This tale of daredevil, yet arguably, overblown action, can be juxtaposed in direct contrast with the sloth-like pace in which Jacob Rees-Mogg's clan of Tory Brexiteers have gone about finally producing a Brexit plan to counter Prime Minister Theresa May's Chequer's one.

Like a blood hound scenting the whiff of wounded fox - following the trouncing of Mrs May's Chequer's plan in Saltzberg - Rees-Mogg finally summoned the energy to request his butler call round to find the last remaining (sorry poor choice of word) man in Britain who still thought Brexit was a good enough idea to bother coming up with a withdrawal plan.

Enter Shanker Singham, of the free market Institute of Economic Affairs think tank (IEA), who declares we have been looking at Brexit from the "wrong side of the telescope" all this time. Instead of damage limitation to the UK we should have been looking at striking mutually beneficial trade deals with countries all over the world, behind the EU's back.

His plan has curious echoes of the Canada plus plus (recurring) model Mrs May dismissed out of hand before. The Brexiteers even 'charitably' offered to allow Mrs May to call it Chequer's MKII, to save face. But she was having none if it saying, on Tuesday, better no deal then Canada plus. And it had all been going so swimmingly.

Talking of which a Beluga whale has been spotted swimming along the River Thames near London. Wildlife experts exclaimed the whale was some 1,000 miles off its usual course and most definitely lost. Adding it appeared to be swimming strongly and feeding well so there was no real reason for concern, other than it really shouldn't be there.

This Reporter suspects there is no whale. This is another one of those Brexit metaphors.

Finishing with more blubber in the form of Donald Trump who on bragging over the fact, in his tiny mind, he had achieved more than any other American President ever, he was greeted with a roomful of mocking laughter at the UN General Assembly.

Trump, finally visibly shaken, rallied himself by saying: "I didn't expect that reaction, but that's OK". Readers the tide could be turning, on a bellyful of laughter. Good news for us, and the 'whale'.

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