Skip to main content

Body Double, Plastic Bottle Currency and the Burberry Giant Tote

FROM Khashoggi's body double and plastic bottle currency, to the return of the super-sized tote bag, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

CCTV footage has "suddenly" emerged of what appears to be a body double dressed up in murdered journalist Jamal Khashoggi's clothes. It is believed the doppelganger donned Khashoggi's clothes and a fake beard and intentionally made sure he was captured on CCTV in a bid to pretend Khashoggi was still alive. The rookie error came where it can be clearly seen the Saudi agent kept his own trainers on.

Meanwhile Turkish President Recep Tayyio Erdogan has expressed his determination to get to the bottom of what happened to Khashoggi after he entered the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul, by addressing Parliament with a speech compiling all the leaks, evidence and speculation on the case so far in order to expose the "naked truth" of the Saudi Government's involvement.

Threats of violence against Prime Minister Theresa May from within her own party are to go unchecked despite uproar from MPs across Parliament. The Sunday newspapers carried quotes from an anonymous Tory MP who appeared so aerated about Mrs May's approach to Brexit, they used language which referenced her being stabbed and hung.

Senior Labour MP Yvette Cooper was the first to condemn the talk as "vile and dehumanising" and called for the anonymous MP to be exposed. However a source for No 10 Downing Street, unbelievably, said there would be "no investigation".

Meanwhile, Mrs May has proved herself more than sturdy enough to dodge the bullets as, undeterred, she called on all MPs to "hold their nerve" when it came to Brexit in the Commons yesterday (Monday). She also revealed a four pronged plan of attack to deal with the remaining 5 per cent of the withdrawal plan, which surprise, surprise revolves around the Irish border, essentially moving to enshrine her "backstop" of keeping the whole of the UK temporarily in the customs union, into law.

Archaeologists have found what could be the world's oldest intact shipwreck at the bottom of the Black Sea. The 23 metre vessel is thought to be ancient Greek and appears to have lain undisturbed for more than 2,400 years, preserved by lack of oxygen.

The mast, rudders and rowing benches are still present and correct and archaeologists are extremely excited over the find, which could change our understanding of shipbuilding and seafaring in the ancient world.

Elsewhere, a car park in Leeds has come up with an "ingenious" way to tackle plastic pollution. Leeds Merrian Centre CitiPark has begun a month-long trial, which will see motorists pay for their parking in plastic bottles.

Each bottle will be worth 20p off the total cost and parking attendant Richard Bedford said it had been going really well. "One chap came in with 30 bottles. He only needed 15 to pay for his parking, so he's bringing the rest back next week."

Some jokers might say - obviously not This Reporter - that it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "paying with plastic".

Today's fashion pick is the Burberry giant reversible canvas tote bag. Having in previous fashion years been left to cope with average-sized bags, or more recently, being obliged to pick up the trend for multi-bagging (the act of wearing a number of different, yet perfectly co-ordinated, bags) we are now being allowed to indulge, cavalierly, in super-sized tote bags in a manner not seen since the early noughties (00s).

This Burberry reversible number is also "bang for your buck" as they say, being two designs in one. And besides, if we're going to start paying for more items in plastic bottles, we're going to need a big bag.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020.

The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up.
Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people.
A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions.
In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives This R…

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off.

Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version.

A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported.

He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig).

However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner.

Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war' leafle…

Holidaymakers marooned in a sandstorm and the UK public loses its Eurovision vote

FROM the British tourists stranded in the Canary Islands thanks to a Sahara sandstorm, to the public banned from voting for the UK entry to Eurovision, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Monday 24th February 2020.

Holidaymakers have been left stranded at airports in the Canary Islands after a Sahara sandstorm left the destination coated with dust, and reduced visibility for flying.
Flights from locations including Gran Canaria and Lanzarote were grounded due to the weather conditions leaving passengers forced to sit, and even sleep, on the dirty airport floors.
Holidayers complained about poor customer service when it came to receiving information on flights and organising temporary accommodation, with the general feeling amongst the British being, it was an absolute outrage they were having to extend their holiday by several days.
As reward posters go up on lampposts for the immediate return of commonsense, it has been revealed that despite the recent storms battering the…

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..."

Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again.

So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home".

The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations.

Try the Ophelia cocktail ring, available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats' sword.…

The porn star set to topple Trump and the horse suit by Chloe

Is it an indictment of the holes in America's political system or the fact we have learnt so much post-Harvey Weinstein, that the most likely person to knock President Donald Trump off his narcissistic perch is a porn star going by the name of Stormy Daniels? Or perhaps, as many are joyfully claiming, it is because this porn star has become a feminist hero - her voice, rather than her body, her super power.

There have been murmurings for some time of how Trump employed the services of Stormy, real name Stephanie Clifford, to provide some bedroom entertainment - shall we say - shortly after his wife Melania gave birth to his youngest son back in 2006.

But it is only now as Stormy, as we shall call her, has announced she is suing the former American Apprentice star for slamming a non-disclosure agreement on her, that we are seeing just how pivotal and important a figure this adult film star could become in what happens to Trump next.

As anyone who follows the misogynistic transgress…