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Chain Strap Bags, Kavanagh and Patrick Kielty

THE MERE mention of wearing chains - even in a fashion sense - should have the alarm bells going off, if we are indeed as far down the road of female emancipation as we hoped, muses This Reporter.

As it goes, Vogue magazine seemed oblivious it was blowing apart our carefully cultivated, 2018 social awareness barometer, with its full page spread on the latest trend to hit the bag world - that of the chain-link shoulder strap.

From hefty bike lock chains, which require more than a generous squeeze of the bolt cutters, and fancy rhinestone bedecked ones, to three strap chains for a good old tethering, we are being asked to hoist them over our shoulders in the name of style, without any concern for feminism.

This Reporter found this Alexander Wang number thrust under her nose, whilst she was doing the washing up. Wonders will never cease how the PC brigade are not onto this.

Elsewhere, Kavanagh, not (ironically) the QC one or indeed the "I Can Make You Feel Good" one of singing fame (spelt Kavana as point of interest) but Brett Kavanagh, Donald Trump's supreme court nominee, has found himself in the dock defending himself against accusations he sexually assaulted Californian Professor Dr Christine Blaky Ford when they were teenagers.

Sniffing, sobbing, screaming, inexplicably shouting how much he loves beer - in between fervent pleas they consult his father's 1982 Rolodex to prove he wasn't there - This Reporter has some serious reservations about Kavanagh's suitability for charge over US legislation based on just this performance, never mind any other crime.

The Tory conference has descended into choas before it's even started, with a private app containing MP's email addresses and mobile phone numbers being left open to security breach. Cue someone changing Boris Johnson's profile photo to hard-core pornography before the oversight was made known.

This Reporter suspects the offender may have been, Boris Johnson - who his former foreign office buddy Alan Duncan has declared is "addicted to his own publicity" like cocaine. Mr Johnson has also given his first proper interview since resigning as Foreign Minister.

He bored on about how the Chequer's Plan is not fit for purpose whilst wielding around his alternative 4,000 word diatribe, as laid out in the Telegraph - ironically at a time when he is least in a position to influence it. He also, "tantalisingly"- in his world - refused to confirm or deny his ambitions for leadership.

Irish TV presenter Patrick Kielty has since spelt out via a series of tweets to Mr Johnson, exactly why his Brexit vision is threatening peace in Ireland. Mr Kielty, whose dad was killed by loyalist paramilitaries, concluded by saying he hopes Boris becomes PM so he can finally swim in the "constitutional sewage" of his making.

The one job opening it appears as tricky as Fort Knox to crack into is that of replacement for David Dimbleby on BBC's Question Time. Prospective new presenters will each be put through their paces in front of a live audience before a final selection is made, probably because there are women in the running - and "you know".

This Reporter believes final vetting - for any role - should be based entirely on the applicant's opinion of a bag on a chain.

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