Skip to main content

Chlorinated Chicken, Kleenex Mansize and the "Killing Eve" dress

FROM the culinary delights of chlorinated chicken and a blow to Kleenex Mansize, to that gut-wrenchingly spectacular "Killing Eve" dress, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

In rare glad tidings on the Brexit front, we are being informed the US Government has officially agreed to begin trade talks with Britain "as soon as it is ready" after leaving the EU. But before we do a collective back flip in celebration, doom-mongers - or perhaps just those of sensitive stomach - are reminding us that whilst this trade deal could be worth £180billion, it will come at the price of allowing the flood gates to open on chlorinated chicken - and ultimately a huge decline in food standards in Britain.

Other culinary delights to look forward to from America are hormone-treated beef and pork laced with drugs. All together now - "yummy".

The Tory party has received a proper verbal pasting, from within its own ranks. Johnny Mercer Conservative MP for Plymouth Moor, has stated what pretty much everyone thinks but may feel slightly more encumbered to say, that the Tory party is a "shitshow".

Mr Mercer, who was elected in 2015 and has been touted as one of the party's young, bright hopefuls, added if he was not currently an MP he wouldn't stand to be one and he wouldn't even go and vote in the next election.

The crucial question on addressing the news that veteran TV presenter and actress Joanna Lumley is to front a TV programme celebrating the career of the Black Eyed Peas, is whether when the names Fergie and William came up, she got the wrong idea about what the show was about.

On the contrary, dear readers, that would be ageist, as not only is Ms Lumley well up on who "The Peas" are, but is a self-proclaimed fan and friend of the pop stars. Particularly Will.i.am who she has already appeared on the telly with. In a programme with the title that explains it all - "Joanna Lumley Meets Will.i.am". She even puts on shuttered sunglasses.

This latest Black Eyed Peas extravaganza, to air on ITV, will travel back through the band's 20 year history, featuring smash hit songs and interviews with their friends and family. Suggesting there will be an awkward bit where Ms Lumley tries to interview herself.

In a huge blow to Kleenex, it is being forced to bin "Mansize" from its tissue boxes after 60 years, as consumers finally decide it is sexist. The company in charge, Kimberley-Clark, said it was "registering a consistent increase of complaints on gender concerns". Adding: "Kimberley-Clark in no way suggests that being both soft and strong is an exclusively masculine trait, nor do we believe that the Mansize branding suggests, or endorses, gender inequality".

Nevertheless Kleenex Mansize will soon be called "extra large" instead. But This Reporter has concerns this could open the doors to a whole new raft of complaints.

Today's fashion pick is inspired by, without doubt, the best TV programme of all time - "Killing Eve". Not just content to press refresh on everything to do with producing a show about an assassin, the major sub-plot to the story has been Villanelle's gut-wrenchingly spectacular designer wardrobe.

There was that dusky lilac Burberry trench coat, that Dries Van Noten suit, that Chloe pussybow blouse worn with cut off denim shorts. But most gasp-worthy of all was that billowing, bubblegum pink Molly Goddard dress, toughened up with Balenciaga leather boots.

This Reporter can't offer you that dress - don't be silly - everything Jodie Comer wore in the series has long sold out. But you could purchase this pink taffeta dress - also a genuine Molly Goddard - to channel your inner villaness. Killing, optional.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off.

Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version.

A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported.

He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig).

However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner.

Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war' leafle…

Review of the Week - from 42nd Street to Greased Lightnin'

Get your jazz hands ready because we're heading to the musicals.

"We're in the money, we're in the money, we've got a lot of what it takes to get along..."

Boss of Sainsbury's Mike Coupe has apologised after being caught on camera singing "We're in the money" as he prepared to discuss the supermarket chain's planned merger with Asda.
Mr Coupe made the highly entertaining blunder whilst waiting between television interviews and not realising his microphone was still switched on.
The footage shows Mr Coupe singing the first line or two quietly to himself but as the song progresses he begins to sing more loudly, even bobbing his head from side to side.
Mr Coupe apologised saying it was an unguarded moment in which he was trying to compose himself for a TV interview.
He adds: "It was an unfortunate choice of song, from the musical 42nd Street which I saw last year (excellent little detail there) and I apologise if I have offended anyone…

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020.

The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up.
Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people.
A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions.
In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives This R…

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020.

A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it.
But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people'…

Life is a Brexit Waltzer - You Just Gotta Ride It?

WHEN it comes to rip-offs we are being urged this week to look no further than Prada's white cotton T-shirt, retailing for £270. This Reporter states this does rather, in her opinion, overlook a more glaring and ever present rip-off in our lives, which we will look at more thoroughly in due course.
But back to the T-shirt, and words have been voiced over why any right thinking human would purchase the extortionately priced Prada T-shirt when there are all manner of identical alternatives available on the high street?
"You get what you pay for" is the mantra from fashion disciples. However, in that case surely we can expect no less than the whole cast of Enid Blyton's magical Faraway Tree involved in the workmanship, weaving well-being and fortitude into every seam.
The perfect antidote to the sweatshop. But then we are told over at Primark you can buy a pair of socks and come away with a free human bone. Admittedly that wasn't the original Primark marketing strat…