Skip to main content

Chlorinated Chicken, Kleenex Mansize and the "Killing Eve" dress

FROM the culinary delights of chlorinated chicken and a blow to Kleenex Mansize, to that gut-wrenchingly spectacular "Killing Eve" dress, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

In rare glad tidings on the Brexit front, we are being informed the US Government has officially agreed to begin trade talks with Britain "as soon as it is ready" after leaving the EU. But before we do a collective back flip in celebration, doom-mongers - or perhaps just those of sensitive stomach - are reminding us that whilst this trade deal could be worth £180billion, it will come at the price of allowing the flood gates to open on chlorinated chicken - and ultimately a huge decline in food standards in Britain.

Other culinary delights to look forward to from America are hormone-treated beef and pork laced with drugs. All together now - "yummy".

The Tory party has received a proper verbal pasting, from within its own ranks. Johnny Mercer Conservative MP for Plymouth Moor, has stated what pretty much everyone thinks but may feel slightly more encumbered to say, that the Tory party is a "shitshow".

Mr Mercer, who was elected in 2015 and has been touted as one of the party's young, bright hopefuls, added if he was not currently an MP he wouldn't stand to be one and he wouldn't even go and vote in the next election.

The crucial question on addressing the news that veteran TV presenter and actress Joanna Lumley is to front a TV programme celebrating the career of the Black Eyed Peas, is whether when the names Fergie and William came up, she got the wrong idea about what the show was about.

On the contrary, dear readers, that would be ageist, as not only is Ms Lumley well up on who "The Peas" are, but is a self-proclaimed fan and friend of the pop stars. Particularly Will.i.am who she has already appeared on the telly with. In a programme with the title that explains it all - "Joanna Lumley Meets Will.i.am". She even puts on shuttered sunglasses.

This latest Black Eyed Peas extravaganza, to air on ITV, will travel back through the band's 20 year history, featuring smash hit songs and interviews with their friends and family. Suggesting there will be an awkward bit where Ms Lumley tries to interview herself.

In a huge blow to Kleenex, it is being forced to bin "Mansize" from its tissue boxes after 60 years, as consumers finally decide it is sexist. The company in charge, Kimberley-Clark, said it was "registering a consistent increase of complaints on gender concerns". Adding: "Kimberley-Clark in no way suggests that being both soft and strong is an exclusively masculine trait, nor do we believe that the Mansize branding suggests, or endorses, gender inequality".

Nevertheless Kleenex Mansize will soon be called "extra large" instead. But This Reporter has concerns this could open the doors to a whole new raft of complaints.

Today's fashion pick is inspired by, without doubt, the best TV programme of all time - "Killing Eve". Not just content to press refresh on everything to do with producing a show about an assassin, the major sub-plot to the story has been Villanelle's gut-wrenchingly spectacular designer wardrobe.

There was that dusky lilac Burberry trench coat, that Dries Van Noten suit, that Chloe pussybow blouse worn with cut off denim shorts. But most gasp-worthy of all was that billowing, bubblegum pink Molly Goddard dress, toughened up with Balenciaga leather boots.

This Reporter can't offer you that dress - don't be silly - everything Jodie Comer wore in the series has long sold out. But you could purchase this pink taffeta dress - also a genuine Molly Goddard - to channel your inner villaness. Killing, optional.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020. A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it. But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people&#

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

Life on Mars, "gangster" Peppa Pig and the Loewe dinosaur trainers

So it turns out Button Moon was a lie. This reporter is of course referring to the 1980's children's TV show, which followed Mr Spoon and his family of fellow kitchen utensils, as they day-tripped off to Button Moon in a junk model space rocket. There the family would enjoy all manner of adventures before returning back to earth in time for tea. Mr Spoon made space travel look a sinch. It transpires space travel is not a sinch. NASA, alongside the European Space Agency, is planning to bring Martian rocks back to earth to see whether the planet is inhabited by aliens. However, this daring mission is not a simple matter of astronauts rocketing up to Mars, picking up a few rocks in their space buckets, and returning back to earth that same afternoon. As it turns out, the whole venture is going to be something of a palaver on the basis we are not, as yet, able to land a rocket on another planet and then take back off again. This means bringing the rocks home will take at le

Summer Riots, Eskimos and Camping It Up at the MET

THERE will be riots on the streets if the Government continues to roll out its controversial Universal Credit benefits system. That is the warning from former Prime Minister Gordon Brown who predicts a return to poll tax-style chaos and a summer of discontent if Theresa May does not call a halt to the scheme. The Universal Credit system combines six benefits in one and is set for a full national roll out next year, despite countless reports of claimants already on it being plunged into dire financial straits as a result. Mr Brown said: "Surely the greatest burning injustice of all is children having to go to school ill-clad and hungry. It is the poverty of the innocent - of children too young to know they are not to blame". This Reporter comments, it really must be a sign of the times, that Gordon Brown returning as Prime Minister seems a welcome idea. Moving on and President of America, Donald Trump has declared his daughter Ivanka would be "dynamite" as the