Skip to main content

Creative Brexit Thinking, #Papoose and the Fendi 'Vulva' Scarf

FROM the EU's call for creative Brexit thinking and Piers Morgan's "emasculating" papoose gripe, to that much talked about Fendi scarf, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up.

In the latest 'stating the blindingly obvious' study, research group Hope Not Hate found attitudes towards immigration are directly linked to socio-economic deprivation. The pervading view, extracted from the six-year-long project, was many people in deprived communities felt they had been "abandoned and left to rot" by the political establishment in preference to addressing the needs and wishes of new arrivals.

In quite frankly staggering news, Prime Minister Theresa May has, apparently, managed to get her Cabinet to agree to a united front on Brexit ahead of a key summit with the European Union. Details are sketchy, but what permeated strongly from the meeting room on Tuesday afternoon was the smell of frying bacon, as it was revealed Cabinet members were plied (bribed) with bacon and sausage sandwiches ahead of discussions.

Unfortunately the suffering was not over for Mrs May, who was swiftly dealt a blow from the EU, expecting her to come to their summit meeting this evening (Wednesday) armed with more "concrete" and "creative" solutions on how to seal a deal, particularly in regards the confounded Irish backstop.

John Major is the latest former Prime Minister to stick his oar in over Brexit declaring Brexiteers will "never be forgiven - or forgotten" over what they were doing to Britain. Mr Major elaborated they were persuading a "deceived population to vote to be weaker and poorer" and ensured he was speaking from an impartial stance.

House of Commons Speaker John Bercow is resisting calls to step down amidst a cloud of bullying accusations, declaring he will depart of his own accord next summer, once he had seen Brexit through. He was backed by the likes of shadow Foreign Secretary Emily Thornberry who voiced a popular view, this was not the time to be changing Speaker. However, critics outside the House have, quite rightly, made the point it is unfathomable that serious bullying claims have been reduced to Brexit.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump has defended Saudi Arabia against mounting condemnation over the disappearance of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, warning that we were in danger of attributing guilt before innocence, as was the case in the allegations of sexual assault levelled against supreme court justice Brett Kavanagh during his confirmation hearing. This is as fresh evidence Khashoggi was murdered at the Saudi consulate comes out in the form of freshly repainted rooms and the discovery of toxic materials.

Journalist Piers Morgan began a Twitter storm yesterday (Tuesday) after airing his views on Bond actor Daniel Craig carrying his baby daughter in a sling, or papoose. Mr Morgan declared it was "emasculating", claiming James Bond himself would never wear such a thing. Twitter users were quick to challenge this was far more about Mr Morgan's own fragile masculinity. Whilst This Reporter would like to add that if James Bond did have a child, this is absolutely how he would carry them. What use is a pushchair when jumping between buildings and free-falling through the air?

Finally, today's fashion pick is the much talked about £750 Fendi scarf which, let's make no bones about it, looks like a vagina. The Touch of Fur scarf is fur trimmed and comes in a variety of colours including blue and red but it is the peachy-pink version which was been raising more than a few eyebrows for its strong resemblance to female genitalia.

Guardian Fashion has been immensely kind in its critique, claiming wearers can recreate the moment they were born. The peach version has since been discontinued but the other colours are still available, though perhaps lack quite the same allure.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

The inside scoop on Meghan and Harry's wedding - all the action before it's even happened

Fantastic news. We have all been invited to a wedding, and not just any old wedding but the royal wedding of the year (sorry Princess Eugenie) between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. This is what the big day - 19th May, if you still need to jot it down in your filofax - will look like. The girls will all get ready at Meghan's house, taking it in turns to marvel at her dress, by an avant garde British designer we will all pretend we have heard of. We will watch back-to-back episodes of Suits, quaffing glasses of Kombucha, so we can exclaim over how far she has come, all the while trying to reassure Kate Middleton we cannot see the baby sick down her brand new pleat detail dress  from Reiss. (We can). The boys will meanwhile be round Harry's gaff, stuffing themselves on venison burgers and Kettle Chips, before stripping down for a last game of naked snooker - for old time's sake. Reminiscing about ill-advised fancy dress costumes, past girlfriends with posh, fancy names

Theresa May's girls' night in and ice-cream flavoured plimsoles

The fashion world is in a two-and-eight. It has inconceivably come up with a trend which is the complete antithesis of everything it stands for - ice-cream. Let's be honest, no one in the fashion industry has eaten since 1997, subsisting on fresh air and the occasional whiff of Lancome watermelon Juicy Tube (because they're back). Never mind the veritable Pandora's box of worms the issue rears up for the lactose intolerant, and the vegans, who have risen up like a Samuria army since the clock struck midnight on first of January. But fear not, this ice-cream trend is nothing to do with consuming delicious frozen cream (sadly). Instead it is about the chosen pastel colour palette for this spring, leading on to summer 2018. Melting their way down runways there have been strawberry ice-cream coloured jackets from Celine, Acne Studios have offered up pistachio co-ords, Chanel have served us vanilla wafer coloured suits. There have been blueberry swirl skirts at Versace and

"Summer dreams ripped at the seams" - The day we should have Brexit

TODAY - Friday 29th March - was to have been The Day -  the day we Brexited from the European Union. If all had gone according to - if there had actually been a - plan. Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg were scheduled to be there at Dover cliff edge, gardening shears at the ready, to ceremoniously sever, together, all ties with our continental neighbours. In manner of some warped version of the bride and bridegroom cutting into their first slice of wedding cake. Former fireplace salesman, turned Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson would have led the military salute as Salvation Army brass bands from across the country, on pain of death, led a rousing rendition of "Jerusalem", followed by a blast of the Grease Megamix. That's the news of what didn't pan out this week, so what actually did happen? We heard Nigel Farage compared to Blackadder's Field Marshall Haig when Guy Verhofstadt questioned why he was sat in European Parliament and not out on the 200 mile Mar

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020. A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it. But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people&#