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Eugenie and the Bottle, Pizza Club and a Brexit Baby

WHAT a difference a wedding makes. It was only a few, sweltering, months ago we had our collective spirits lifted by the nuptials between Prince Harry and Meghan. But it appears this short course of time has not been favourable to the mood around royal weddings, taking it from "Hurrah, let's shed a tear", to "We're having none of it".

With the words of that great love story between a man of excess and his wallet lilting in the air, Princess Eugenie, younger daughter of Fergie and Prince Andrew, married her tequila ambassador boyfriend, Jack Brooksbank, on Friday.

The wedding, between Eugenie and the Bottle, was not the low key affair expected of the ninth in line to the throne however, with some 850 guests packing out St George's Chapel. Because as her dad Andrew said, the couple simply have so many "close friends". (Nothing to do with the promise of tequila.)

Those "close friends" were treated to such delights as a reading by Princess Beatrix from 'The Great Gatsby'. Some (many) people have questioned whether Eugenie and the Bottle have ever read the novel. This Reporter believes that is doing the couple an injustice.

They are no strangers to satire. As the old tale goes, a quick drink after a dance training session leads to a snog down an alleyway. A Charleston dressed up as pizza servers later and the public vote you through to the next round. These are enlightened times.

The presence of model Cara Delevingne dressed up as the Artful Dodger is a little more problematic, walking as it does straight into the hands of those accusing this wedding of being a public rip off. "You've got to pick a pocket or two". Yes indeed Fagin. In this case the tax payers.

The other gathering you are simply no one if you do not get an invite to is "Pizza Club" - the first rule being you don't talk about it. But the second rule is evidently you let some of it leak out to the press to make it look like you are doing something about toppling, not topping, your leader over her "flawed" Brexit plan.

Indeed it appears the Pizza Club, made up of staunch Brexiteers from the front rows of Government, and named after their takeaway meal of choice for meetings, curry, will be holding the ultimate of pizza meetings (tonight) Monday, where it is rumoured they may even order in some garlic bread.

Their meeting up is of pressing importance after it emerged not only is Mrs May having trouble getting anyone to agree with her over the backstop plan to prevent a hard border down the middle of Ireland but now the EU is saying there needs to be a back-up plan to the backstop - a backstop to the backstop if you will.

Pizza Club evidently think they can do better negotiating with Michel Barnier. However, what if Pizza Club is just David Davis talking to himself in an empty room?

Thank goodness to high heaven, there has been a royal baby announcement to distract us. Yes, it is the miracle of all miracles, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip are expecting a baby this spring. Sorry an olive must have slipped into the news generator. Clarence House has announced Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are expecting a baby in May next year, after rumours began swirling at the wedding on Friday when Meghan did not remove her coat.

But halt one moment, This Reporter thinks this is all too convenient. She has a concern that Harry and Meghan are being used as pawns to intentionally divert us from the collapse of Britain as we know it. A baby due in May they say, just weeks after we exit the European Union. Less Royal baby and more Brexit baby - the love child of Jean-Claude Juncker and Esther McVey.

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