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Hot Stuff, Shredded Banksy and the Dystopian Grocery Shop

TOP science bods have revealed the world is hotting up to such an extent, that if we don't take collective action to tackle it, we are escalating towards it no longer being able to support human life.

That was the stark message from the UN's landmark report, which stated if global warming exceeded the current maximum of 1.5C by just half a degree, it would significantly worsen the risk of drought, flood and extreme heat and poverty for hundreds of millions of people.

But the trouble is, muses This Reporter, climate change is much like western culture's all but near disposal of religion. If it is not as tangible as the iPhone in their hand, they are simply not interested.

Evidence points to buses being the transport of choice for any Brexit-based argument and the tale of a stellar line-up of celebrities stumping up the cash for a cavalcade of coaches to descend upon London for the People's Vote protest, proves the rule rather than the exception.

The buses, monied by the likes of Sir Patrick Stewart, former Labour spin doctor Alistair Campbell, cook Delia Smith and Olly Alexander from pop band Years & Years, will depart from all over the country for the capital on 20th October for a march in favour of a second referendum on Brexit.

Banksy, The Stig of the graffiti world, has pulled the most monster of stunts by fixing it for his "Girl with a Balloon" artwork to shred before the public's eyes after it was sold at auction for £1 million. In one of those most ludicrous of twists of fate, the shredded pieces of paper are now worth more than when the artwork was intact. But This Reporter is wondering (hoping) this could also be the punchline to Brexit.

Melania Trump, wife of President Donald - should she need reminding - has been dressing it up a storm over in Africa where she has been enjoying something of a first lady tour, but not to the sartorial approval of the many. Indeed, This Reporter can only suggest she has been taking tips from closet clothes enthusiast Mr Benn in her choice of rig out for this trip, donning the most archetypal, to the point of offensive, garments.

This includes a full on safari suit complete with helmet - which has been deemed insensitive due to its "colonial connotations" - and a cotton dress emblazoned with African animals as a show-and-tell guide, This Reporter assumes, to what was there.

In what appears somewhat pedestrian but really rather dystopian news, Waitrose has revealed a new service, "While You're Away", which will see its delivery persons enter your home when you are out and load your shopping into the fridge. This is the absolute green flag for ne're-do-wellism if ever This Reporter heard of it. Customers must also sign up for a minimum of six deliveries under the scheme, which is no good if you've been robbed blind on the first one.

And if there's a man who knows the perils of innocuous grocery products, it's Donald Trump who fell foul of the old toilet paper stuck on the shoe plight as he boarded Air Force One. No one bothered to tell him, which is all-round excellent.

But unfortunately it's men like Trump who get the last laugh, as his buddy-old-pal Brett Kavanagh was voted in as life-long member of the Supreme Court on Saturday. This was despite the brave testimony of Dr Christine Blasey-Ford, who told the world how she was violently sexually assaulted by the man, but to no avail. Indeed it appears committing sexual assault is not only par to the course but a down well pre-requisite to acquiring a position of immense power.

This Reporter senses however, that the women of this world are at the point of snapping. The only question remaining is - who's going to organise the buses.

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