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Showing posts from November, 2018

I'm a Brexiteer, Get Me Out of Here and the Fiendishly Festive Musical Box

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn decried it "pages of waffle", a "vague menu of options...a leap in the dark".
Former Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab admitted, we would be better off staying in the EU.
Vince Cable, Lib Dem leader, commented it was "worryingly vague", an "agreement to have an agreement".
Bank of England gov'nor Mark Carney said financially speaking, we would have been better off voting remain.
Just a soupcon of the criticism. But a total, across the board, annihilation of a plan need not matter  - it appears - in face of a need to get the job done. In the words of Germany's Angela Merkel, to "put a lid on the pot".
All 27 EU countries signed off Prime Minister Theresa May's Brexit deal at a summit in Brussels on Sunday, outlining our future outside the EU through "broad aspirations" - so "impressively" vague, the future could amount to, absolutely anything.
Mrs May is adamant this deal is "…

Boycottian Revelations and Mogg the Calamitous Piano Flogger

REVELATORY is the word, as it emerged this week that Prime Minister Theresa May is no automaton, but actually Geoffrey Boycott. Whether the "legendary" cricketer has kidnapped the real-life Mrs May, locked her in a basement and donned highly-plausible prosthetics - or Mrs May is simply channelling his spirit, circa Yorkshire cricket captain 1977 - it is too early to say.
Regardless, for This Reporter, this explains everything. Hauled in front of her millionth press briefing in recent times, Mrs May was forced to justify why she would not be changing her Brexit plan, or stepping down as Prime Minister. And she likened her stubbornness to "see this through" to her idol Boycott, of whom she said: "The whole point was he stuck to it. He had a plan and he got on with it, and more often than not he delivered".
The fact Mr Boycott, famed for his dull play, has said the biggest mistake he ever made was to take on the Yorkshire captaincy - "I was not a good m…

The Ginormous Lego Orangutan and Johnson & Johnson's Minty Youth Shots

WELCOME to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up live from Brexit Island, where ginormous Lego orangutans rampage and we clamour for Johnson & Johnson's youth-giving minty shots. Not suitable for those of nervous disposition - there may be scenes of a sexual nature and episodes of political absurdity readers will find disturbing.

Soundbite from Prime Minister Theresa May live last night (Wednesday): "Thank Christ for that", as Cabinet agreed to the draft Brexit withdrawal agreement after a tempestuous five hour long meeting.
Yes, it has been quite the week on Brexit Island, as Britain is now officially called, with promises as tantalising as a Victorian peep show that Mrs May and the EU27 were going to draft up an agreement in time. As frequently we heard "there's no chance gov'nor" as the more upbeat, "stay tuned".
As is custom, Mrs May's relief was to be short-lived however, as she lost Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab to r…

Cameron's Comeback, "The Grid" and a Passport to Chic

WITH the bad boys of Brexit back in town and no feasible escape from this rapidly sinking island, all hope clings to a leather dress. Welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

Prime Minister Theresa May will be interrogated by children, we learnt, after signing up to appear on Sky Kids news programme 'FYI'. Mrs May is famed for shirking the TV interview - besides which, serious television journalists appear to have lost their (news) sense - so it looks like it falls to the youngest and let's face it, far more assiduous minds, to ask Mrs May how much more it will take to sack off Brexit?
And here's the very man we'll say arguably, but in all fairness we mean actually, got us into this mess in the first place. Namely David Cameron, letting slip to his friends he was bored witless putting his trotters up in his second shepherd's hut in Nice, and wanted to return to front line politics. His remorseless eyes set on the post of foreign secretary.…