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No Vote, No Confidence - But Theresa Triumphs

WHAT ever cast iron steel Prime Minister Theresa May is made of, This Reporter suggests we build all future bridges out of it. Maybe a celebratory 'Theresa Bridge' with a metalwork statue of her pinioned up at the entrance, and exit - as she really has demonstrated she is indestructible this week. There is no way of defeating her.
Admittedly it looked like curtains for Mrs May on Wednesday morning when it was revealed that Graham Brady, Chairman of the 1922 Committee, had received more than the prerequisite 48 letters of no confidence from Tory MPs, fed up with her shambolic management of the Brexit process. Reaching a head with her decision to delay a vote in Parliament on her deal, and only exacerbated by her inability to open a car door.
Potential new PMs were busy shuffling themselves into position ready to fight it out in a leadership contest, which could have taken up to six weeks and, ironically, potentially delayed the Brexit process by months. That would have been one in the eye for those who have consistently shouted "just get on with it".
But it wasn't to be. One third of Tory MPs voted to oust Mrs May in a secret ballot on Wednesday evening. Not nearly enough to get rid of her. Despite Jacob Rees-Mogg's insistence it was sufficient to force her to resign. (Doesn't he just persist.)
There can now be no further votes of no confidence in Mrs May for the next year. In theory, guaranteeing it will be her who "guides" us through the remainder of the Brexit process. The glaring issue remains however, that after this no confidence palaver, her chances of getting enough bods on board to pass her Brexit plan through Parliament looks slimmer than ever.

Readers, let's trace our way back along the timeline of events to see what led up to Mrs May's most "victorious" of victories...

"Before the fire alarm rings, you will deny the vote on Brexit has been called off three times," decrees God. Sure enough, early on Monday morning, on Radio 4's Today programme, MP Michael Gove declares the vote is "still going ahead". At 11am the official line from Downing Street is the vote is still on. At 11.07am the fire alarm goes off and the Houses of Parliament have to be evacuated. "Two out of three ain't bad," concludes God.
At 11.30am Mrs May convenes a conference call with all Cabinet members informing them the Parliamentary vote on her Brexit deal is to be postponed, since she faces crushing defeat.
Mrs May, officially briefing the Commons later in the day, says she has "listened very carefully to what had been said," prompting universal laughter. She said she plans to flee, light foot, to the continent and grovel with EU leaders about the House's concerns - principally about the Northern Ireland backstop, which she believes to be the only sticking point.
The fact EU leaders have said time and again there can be no renegotiation - a mere inconsequence. To jettison forward in time a moment - the EU leaders do indeed reconfirm to Mrs May they will not renegotiate and are stepping up their plans for a No Deal exit.
Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn meanwhile, more than ready to accuse Mrs May of losing control, refuses to take up the call to immediately file a vote of no confidence in the Government as leader of the opposition. He says he wants to wait until such moment he judges it will be successful. (Now would be the time Jezza, now.)
In "dramatic" scenes, at the same meeting, Labour MP Lloyd Russell-Moyle grabs the ceremonial parliamentary Mace from the table, holds it aloft and proceeds to walk down the line with it, only to meekly hand it back to security guards and quietly be led out of the House.
Russell-Moyle said of the incident later, it was a "spur-of-the-moment" decision after "feeling worked up the whole day". "I originally intended to just put it on the floor or something. I was worried that I might damage it", he adds.
Some time later, out on the streets, a man is handcuffed and tasered by police after trying to storm the doors of the Houses of Parliament. The official statement is this incident was not thought to be an act of terrorism and as it stood, it was unclear what could have motivated him. This Reporter thinks we could at least have a stab in the dark.
Later still, Mrs May arrives to see Germany's Angela Merkel and on trying to get out to say "hello", finds herself locked in the car.
This should have proved a metaphor too far. Ultimately, as it turned out - it wasn't.

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