Skip to main content

Unlikely Lovebirds and Boris Books in Some Attention

PITY the Boris Johnson. He has barely had a shout out in the press this week amidst all the Brexit commotion. This Reporter envisions his fingers just itching to get to his typewriter keys to bosh out an extra scathing tome on proceedings, in time for The Telegraph's Sunday edition.
But what's this - joys springs eternal, as we hear that Mr Johnson has been hauled in front of Parliament to apologise for the hapless transgression, of taking "too long" to declare £53,000 in earnings from his books.
A damning report to the Commons Committee on Standards said Mr Johnson took an "over-casual attitude" to parliamentary rules and should apologise. The worst bit about this - the reminder Boris "writes" books.
Mr Johnson, basking in the spotlight, intoned the delay had been "unintentional" but offered the house a "full and unreserved apology" - and many thanks for giving him some much-needed attention.
A donkey and an emu who fell in love on an abandoned farm in South Carolina, have been given the chance to live out the rest of their days together, after being adopted by a celebrity.
Jack and Diane were in danger of being torn asunder after being saved, along with a number of other animals, from the farm in November. Until 'The Walking Dead' star Jeffrey Dean Morgan stepped in and said the pair could live together at his farm in New York, following an appeal on social media.
The animals were said to become distressed when an attempt was made to separate them - crying and pacing around - and when they were put back together they snuggled up to one another. Actor Morgan said he could already see how much the donkey and the emu were in love.
Food Banks are not photo-ops, lambasted Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn as he tried to pull Prime Minister Theresa May back to the reality of the world this week from the quagmire of Brexit. Mr Corbyn was referencing a plethora of photographs that have been circulating on social media of Tory MPs visiting their local food banks. In way of offering a supporting arm to constituents who had been plummeted into poverty, of arguably, the Government's own making.
Mr Corbyn additionally pointed out The Trussel Trust has already warned food banks face record demand this December. Mrs May in response continued to work on the basis of denial, by quoting her own choice variation on the stats - that absolute poverty was at a record low.
Following a complete inability to agree on either the format or even the station for the Brexit television debate, there won't be one this weekend. Both Mrs May and Mr Corbyn certainly put on a good show of being willing to fight out the key elements of exiting the Union in front of a Sunday night audience.
But after failing to firm up a single detail in time, both the BBC and ITV have pulled the plug on the event for them. Many have commented that the wrangles over the TV debate have played out the thwart central issues of Brexit, on the microcosm. Which raises the interesting possibility that Brexit itself could conclude with an anti-climatic plug pulling.
Feel in need of some escape, then join the queue, as the post of warden has become available on a tiny island off the Guernsey coast which comes with its own natural swimming pool. The successful applicant for the job will have the whole of Lihou to themselves, living off grid and surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean. Duties will include maintaining the 500 metre island's only house and looking after the wildlife on the nature reserve.
As always, however, there is a sting in the tail. Which comes in form of the historical knowledge Lihou was used for target practise, by occupying German soldiers, during World War Two. And the way things are going on the global stage, This Reporter's not sure she'd risk it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life is a Brexit Waltzer - You Just Gotta Ride It?

WHEN it comes to rip-offs we are being urged this week to look no further than Prada's white cotton T-shirt, retailing for £270. This Reporter states this does rather, in her opinion, overlook a more glaring and ever present rip-off in our lives, which we will look at more thoroughly in due course.
But back to the T-shirt, and words have been voiced over why any right thinking human would purchase the extortionately priced Prada T-shirt when there are all manner of identical alternatives available on the high street?
"You get what you pay for" is the mantra from fashion disciples. However, in that case surely we can expect no less than the whole cast of Enid Blyton's magical Faraway Tree involved in the workmanship, weaving well-being and fortitude into every seam.
The perfect antidote to the sweatshop. But then we are told over at Primark you can buy a pair of socks and come away with a free human bone. Admittedly that wasn't the original Primark marketing strat…

A Full Lashed Brexit Compromise, the Magnum-only Diet and Boiler Suits

FROM a Brexit Backstop compromise guaranteeing full fluttering lashes and the Magnum-only diet, to the post-Brexit fashion must-have, the boiler suit, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

We commence with gutting news for MPs, as it was announced this week the Commons recess, due to begin on 14th February, would be cancelled to allow more time to sort out Brexit. Concerns were naturally aired over child care - not for MPs; but their children (it coincides with school half-term holidays) - but the real "heart breaker" is for the medley of members who had booked their annual skiing holiday, in Europe presumably. Let's pause a moment in our communications to allow the irony truck to pass on by...
Word has it, some MPs still intend to go on their holidays. Not Chris Grayling, banned from Calais, for yet again exercising the IQ level of a broad bean, by failing to let Port Chief Jean-Marc Puissesseau know of his plans to divert boats to other ports i…

Russell Brand's "World View" and the Continuous Brexit Loop and the Continuous Brexit Loop...

COMEDIAN Russell Brand's interview with the Sunday Times has got the country in a tailspin. The gist concerns Mr Brand's "world view" - as he puts it - of being a "sensitive, awake and aware man", clashing, quite considerably, with his responsibilities as a father. To the point, he shamelessly conceded, he'd barely looked after his own children alone in any given 24 hour period.
To quote: "I'm very, very focused on the mythical connotations of Mabel's beauty and grace. Not so good on the nappies and making sure they eat food. When I looked after Mabel on her own, she dropped two social classes."
Mr Brand appears to seek praise for his decision to opt out of parenthood's contractual obligations as though he is akin to a bad driver taking himself off the road (#PrincePhilip). But for those considerate people, there is the train.  For Mr Brand, there's ending up looking a berk.
Sixty-four days to go until we leave the European Uni…

A Continental Knock and Run and "Timeless" Beige

FROM breakout filmic hits "The Great Chimp Escape" and "A Continental Knock and Run Part 436", to the surprising allure of "timeless" beige, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

"Is this hell Prime Minister?" cries a heckler as Theresa May meets with Jean-Claude Juncker. Even before "that" happened, it was always going to be a tricky meeting between Mrs May and EU chiefs in Brussels, as the PM trudged fruitlessly forwards in yet another bid to get them to agree to solve the Irish Backstop problem for her. And all to allegedly appease those back at home in Government, who are getting far too much enjoyment out of egging on their weakest classmate to repeatedly "knock and run" the front door, of a renownedly fearsome neighbour. Zilch, as always, was resolved.
"Give me a little more time", pleaded Mrs May as MPs began to fret over when they would get to have their "meaningful vote" i…

Rudd's resignation, Trump's visit and Kat Von D's indestructible eyeliner

You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I'm telling you why. Donald Trump is coming to town.

More about that later. First, some serious news. (This reporter puts on her most sensible of news reading glasses). The Guardian reports today (Monday) that Amber Rudd has "dramatically" resigned as home secretary after "repeatedly struggling to account for her role in the unjust treatment of Windrush generation migrants."

The documenter of our times continues: "The home secretary was forced to step down after a series of revelations in the Guardian over Windrush culminated in a leak on Friday that appeared to show she was aware of targets for removing illegal migrants from Britain.

"The pressure increased late on Sunday afternoon as the Guardian revealed that in a leaked 2017 letter to Theresa May, Rudd had told the Prime Minister of her intention to increase deportations by 10 per cent - seemingly at odds with her recent denials that she w…