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Van Gogh? May Incarcerated and The Spectator Awards

IT can only be described as a bit of a bummer that the photograph art lovers believed for decades to be Dutch impressionist artist Vincent Van Gogh was actually of his older brother Theo. The photograph doing the rounds since the 1950s, appearing in countless books and catalogues, was always billed the earliest known photograph of the ultra famous artist, until the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam poured the kibosh on it saying: "actually I think you'll find you're mistaken".
Thanks to goodness we're currently not living through such a monumental historical disaster...
Thus with joy in our hearts This Reporter suggests we settle in for an exert from the London born wordsmith that is Plan B, renowned for such lyrics as: "She said I love you boy I love you so, She said I love you baby, oh-oh-oh-oooohh ooohhh". Despite his impressive use of the monosyllable, however, Prime Minister Theresa May has made it expressly clear she is not a fan, of plan B. Though whether she was referring to Ben Ballance-Drew the hip-hop artist, is probably not up for debate.
Mrs May, after being pressed by numerous journalists she shared an enclosed aeroplane cabin with on passage to the G20 summit, continued to insist there would be no plan B to her Brexit strategy - no Norway, no Canada, no Orinoco or Bulgaria. Her plan was the only plan available and she suggested everyone get behind it. Which is quite the extraordinary stance to take considering it has already been accepted as red there is no hope of it being voted through Parliament.
But this is really not the time for levity, as another argy bargy of quite serious nature has broken out over potential contempt proceedings against Mrs May. For reneging on her promise to present Parliament with the full legal consequences of Brexit. Labour is threatening to make the move should the sop being fed to them in form of a diluted report fail to hit the sweet spot.
The penalty (however unlikely) for this crime - Mrs May enduring a stint in the bell room of the Big Ben clock tower. A glimpse, surely, behind the doors of the Brexiteering advent calendar - not available in all good shops. Open up window number ten and there you'll find Mrs May, incarcerated.
Whilst, only in this age would talk of a Brexit TV debate between the two main party leaders, result in a secondary debate between the pair over which channel it was going to be shown on. Corbyn insisted on ITV, the "people's channel", whilst Mrs May went ahead and booked herself in for a Sunday evening on the BBC.
Which, dear readers, confirms we have indeed hit rock bottom - in fact, may be currently tunnelling through said rock with aid of a Fisher Price drill. The factions of Parliament are so split, they are now prepared to fight tooth and nail over, absolutely everything.
We close with The Spectator's annual political awards ceremony. In particular the awards presented to former Brexit Secretaries David Davis and Dominic Raab who judges failed to separate over who deserved the title of Best Resignation 2018. Sure. This is just mockery of the first kind from the most satirical of magazines, isn't it?
Flip to Davis and Raab upon stage clutching their trophies, plastered with ear-to-ear grins. And sadly dear readers there appears no joke to share. The joke is very much on us.

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