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Life is a Brexit Waltzer - You Just Gotta Ride It?

WHEN it comes to rip-offs we are being urged this week to look no further than Prada's white cotton T-shirt, retailing for £270. This Reporter states this does rather, in her opinion, overlook a more glaring and ever present rip-off in our lives, which we will look at more thoroughly in due course.
But back to the T-shirt, and words have been voiced over why any right thinking human would purchase the extortionately priced Prada T-shirt when there are all manner of identical alternatives available on the high street?
"You get what you pay for" is the mantra from fashion disciples. However, in that case surely we can expect no less than the whole cast of Enid Blyton's magical Faraway Tree involved in the workmanship, weaving well-being and fortitude into every seam.
The perfect antidote to the sweatshop. But then we are told over at Primark you can buy a pair of socks and come away with a free human bone. Admittedly that wasn't the original Primark marketing strategy. It was more a circumstance of one unfortunate customer finding said bone in sock and police, local to the store in Essex, declaring that whilst indeed it was human, it did not appear to result from any recent trauma - to which we assume cannibalism or murder - but they would look into it.
Primark meanwhile has been quick to establish the human bone did not come from its factory, adding: "It is highly probable that this object was placed in the socks by an individual for unknown reasons." Well quite. Certainly one to chew over of an evening.
Readers, we have been distracted enough. Now on to the greatest rip-off of the century, because aren't we still waiting for our own personal share of the £350billion promised on the side of the bus? And events have certainly taken a more critical turn this week, and about time with 58 days to go until exit, with the Cabinet Office warning the disruption of Brexit would be on a par with that caused by Iceland's volcanic ash clouds back in 2010. But worse. Bringing the country and parts of Europe to a complete standstill. The Queen chose this moment to step in and have a word.
Addressing the Sandringham Women's Institute, she said: "Of course, every generation faces fresh challenges and opportunities. As we look for new answers in the modern age, I for one prefer the tried and tested recipes, like speaking well of each other and respecting different points of view."
There has been debate over whether Her Majesty was really referring to Brexit but unless there's been uproar at the WI over who's been hiding the crochet hooks again, This Reporter thinks it a safe bet to say she was.
Prime Minister Theresa May meanwhile entered yet another of her crunch weeks - the idea this time being for MPs to put forward, and then vote on, their favourite amendments to Mrs May's Brexit plan to make it that bit more palatable, to everyone. And it's fair to say, watching the shenanigans ahead of this latest bungled attempt to break the impasse on Tuesday, was like riding a fairground waltzer.
Just as you get used to the "natural" undulations of the ride, a fairground operative comes along and gives you an extra spin, so you feel like your head is being suctioned off your neck. Leaving you fearing you are going to have to spend the rest of your life doing your best impression of the headless horsemen of the apocalypse.
One, of a plethora, of mediocre ideas mooted ahead of the debate was the "Brady Amendment", put forward by chief Tory backbencher Graham Brady, to support Mrs May's deal so long as she goes back to the EU and renegotiates the Irish backstop, despite the fact the EU still maintains it will be renegotiated, over its dead body. (Jacob Rees-Mogg rears up in full pallbearer's clobber and says, this can be arranged.)
Labour meanwhile had to be seen to be doing something, anything, and thus agreed to throw its weight behind an amendment put forward by its own Yvette Cooper - the "Cooper Amendment" - to postpone the date we leave the EU to the end of the year to avoid an imminent No Deal.
Which one was the most successful? This Reporter has the golden envelope and she can reveal - this is really very exciting isn't it - the winner is the Brady Amendment, to renegotiate the backstop.
Let's check in live with the EU just minutes after this latest Brexit votage to get their thoughts, and..."It's still a no".
Looks like it's off to Prada then.

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