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Mrs May's drinks trolley and a fake Brexit traffic jam ends in car crash TV

THE sight of a cavalcade of lorries emerging from the fog early on Monday morning, to take their places in a fake Brexit traffic jam, confirmed what we have all been fearing for some time now - we have reached the part in history our ancestors we think, we made up for the laugh.
But first we must turn to Prime Minister Theresa May who has entered a vital chapter in her own memoirs entitled: "Will she or won't she secure her deal?" as it dawned on her she faced no other alternative but to put her ill-favoured Brexit plan before Parliament, next Tuesday (Jan 15th).
It turns out however, she has a few tricks up her sleeve, including a spot of good old-fashioned schmoozing. Inviting her enemies to a series of drinks receptions at the top end of the week, where she no doubt hoped to lubricate the mood.
She says to her staunchest of critics; take these assurances the EU will agree a trade deal by 2021, that Parliament can have more say in the next stage of talks. Remember if you vote down my deal this country faces "unmitigated disaster" but also let me top up your glass of sweet sherry, to the brim.
Dame Caroline Spelman was one of 200 cross-party MPs on the guest list, all of whom had signed a letter urging Mrs May to rule out a no deal Brexit. Busy quaffing she said; Mrs May "gets it...she wouldn't have invited us to come in and see her if she didn't". It was soon after the Prime Minister brought out the tequila, they realised they'd all been had.
Michael Gove is also doing his bit to "aid" Mrs May's cause by addressing Cabinet this week saying; holding out for a "perfect" Brexit was pointless. It was like a 50-something-year-old swinger holding out for Scarlett Johansson to turn up to the party. "Pierce Brosnan", Amber Rudd amended.
Current Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay should have, arguably, remained habitually silent, after commenting the kind of abuse levelled at MP Anna Soubry - which saw chants of "Nazi" and her being chased down the street - would only intensify if there was a second referendum. The MET police have also had their knuckles rapped, after being assured their current policy to stand by and watch the abuse unfolding, was completely flawed.
Meanwhile, the Government would have it that we accept as normal, the decision to invite a legion of lorries to stage a fake traffic jam in Kent. For no other perceivable purpose than to demonstrate to the European Union that we are woefully unprepared, for a no deal exit.
"Operation Brock", as the exercise was grandiosely called, saw some 100 lorry drivers invited, to tune of 550 quid, to come and park their lorries on a disused airfield. Before convoying it - slowly - down to Dover, in this show of bulldoggish defiance.
Here comes the fly in the ointment. This Reporter feels it her duty to throw in some statistics - namely that, at peak times, over 6,000 lorries will be trundling their way down to port. Indeed rather confirming the conclusion by many a participating trucker, that the whole sorry exercise had been "a complete waste of time".
Which begs the question whether, when Boris Johnson wrote in his Telegraph column, that the option of leaving the EU with no deal was "closest to what people actually voted for" in the 2016 referendum, he had this kind of charade foremost in his mind?
But Mr Johnson may not have his finger quite so firmly on the pulse of the people, as he would assume. Events unfolding in Parliament this week thus far demonstrate a majority of politicians, would do anything to prevent this country crashing out on a no deal.
This appears to include spilling blood across the pristine green baize of the Commons, as on Wednesday afternoon we were treated to scenes of parliamentary uproar. As Jacob Rees-Mogg threw off his tie and his monacle and threatened to deck the Speaker John Bercow for failing to remain impartial. His crime - granting Tory rebel Dominic Grieve a winning amendment which will force Mrs May to come up with a plan B should her own deal fail at the pass.
At least it was good to get a teaser of the much longed for Parliamentary sovereignty in action, before we commit to the box set in 78 days time.

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