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Corbyn's Phoney People's Vote, Pot Shots and Gigantic Bows

FROM Corbyn's phoney call for a People's Vote and the cliffhanger pot shot video tape, to the Roksanda blouse with the enormous bows, welcome to This Reporter's weekly news and style round-up.

Cadbury can only be a sugar rush away from filing a trademark infringement against the British government (to wit - the "Crunchie") as the political world of farcical doom entered yet another of its relentless crunch weeks. Providing, of course, the Crunchie bar was packed from first bite instead of with honeycomb, space dust, and instead of with space dust, TNT and instead of with TNT, nuclear active garbage just 29 days away from detonate, because that's about where we are with Brexit.
Prime Minister Theresa May is under the mistaken impression that the best way to avoid cataclysmic disaster is to dodge it. Colloquially known as "the swerve". As that is exactly what she has done over the meaningful vote - part numero deux - on her deal, which was due to take place this week in Parliament. She has put it off until March 12th much to the chagrin, of absolutely everyone with a working clock.
What getting her to play a game of pool has to do with anything at this, the scrag end of proceedings, is anyone's guess. But there she was at the EU-Arab League Summit when Italian Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte decided to get Mrs May to have a go at potting a shot. The episode was captured on video for preservation and presumably the titillation of nations, however, we are still trying to come to terms with the "dancing" to be honest.
"I'm going to be hopeless", Mrs May, unsurprisingly, is heard to utter as Mr Conte passes her a freshly chalked cue. Imploring the Italian PM to show her how to do it, before her chief of staff Gavin Barwell steps up to show her how to position herself.
Critically the footage runs out before we see Mrs May take her shot and amidst a host of discomforting confusion over the whole, heavily metaphor laden incident, this is where This Reporter's antennae pricks up. She is certain our fate is entangled in that pool ball's. Does she by major fluke manage to pocket that shot? It is imperative we get our hands on the rest of that video tape.
Jeremy Corbyn meanwhile has reacted to recent kerfuffles within his party, namely the abscondment of eight of its members to newly formed The Independent Group - or TIG as it has instantly become known thanks to compulsive abbreviators - by nicking their cornerstone policy, the calling for a People's Vote. He announced to much fanfare, that actually, Labour did fancy backing a second referendum at this late hour, to prevent the Tory's disastrous Brexit deal happening.
Outwardly self-congratulating himself on this wily manoeuvre, Corbyn's real motivation, far from saving the country from calamity, may have something to do with a straw poll of voters which revealed 23 per cent favour Labour in the next election, but here comes TIG bouncing along with 18 per cent, despite not even being a proper political party. As to the contents of any potential referendum ballot paper, woolly would be the word. Anyone would think Corbyn's heart wasn't quite in it.
During this most labourious of interludes, Mrs May has hatched her own cunning plan to prevent a further exodus of remain MPs from her party. Out she totters to the lecturn, now permantly parked outside 10 Downing Street, to insist that should MPs vote down her deal on 12th March, the following day there will be a vote on no deal Brexit, and if that's rejected, on 14th March the House will vote whether to delay exiting the EU by a "short, one-off period".
"Snookered". Whether this refers to Mrs May or her opposition only time, and a video on a certain Italian PM's iPhone, will reveal.
To fashion, and This Reporter has duly noted that during the chill weather of late, Mrs May has taken to her breast the influencer trend of wearing a padded body warmer under a smart coat for extra insulation. Bonus - this enables the wearer to remain outwardly fashionable. With the change in climate to a more inclement vibe This Reporter is all eyes to see what Mrs May will opt for next, personally vying for the massive bow trend as seen on the attention-seeking celeb set.
Otherwise conservative clobber is being pepped up with incongruously enormous bows. And the question is whether Mrs May will follow suit? The thinking  - with the bow likely to take up all the centre ground, as well as the left and the right of her, it could in these dissident times be the greatest invention in peace keeping accoutrements since the white flag. This Reporter has something like this bow sleeved blouse from Roksanda in mind. If all else fails, it's something alternative to laugh/cry about.

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