Skip to main content

NZ Gun Ban, March to Leave and the YouTube Giraffe Baby

FROM gun reforms after the Christchurch mosque shooting and Nigel Farage's non-committal March to Leave, to the YouTube baby giraffe sensation, welcome to This Reporter's daily news round-up.

New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has pledged gun law reforms just days after an attack on mosques left 50 people dead. Australian Breton Tarrant, a self-described white supremacist, has been charged with murder following the shootings at two mosques in Christchurch on Friday (March 15th).
Police say the 28-year-old used military-style assault weapons modified to make them more deadly for the attack - which is legal under current laws. Ms Ardern said her Cabinet has backed gun law changes in "principle" but it could take several more days to make such complex changes to the law.
Another Brexit week opens with speculation Theresa May will put her deal before Parliament for meaningful vote a third time (lucky). The Prime Minister will need to convince 75 MPs to change their minds and vote in favour of her plan in order to get it through. And whilst a short delay to departure is now inevitable due to the mound of exit paperwork still to be completed, Mrs May warned that if MPs did not vote for her deal at the third time of asking "we may not leave the EU for many months, if ever".
Elsewhere Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte has compared Mrs May to the knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail who loses his arms and legs in a duel and calls it a draw. He is all praise for her resilience in the face of repeated knock backs in the House of Commons. "She's incredible", he continues. "She goes on and on".
Meanwhile, if intentions are to be believed, former UKIP leader and all-round desperado Nigel Farage is currently wending his way through hill, dale and quagmire, accompanied by his "merry" band of followers, for March to Leave.
A paltry 350 marchers have stomped out their mission to walk 200 miles from Scarborough to Westminster to protest against "the betrayal of the will of the people over Brexit". Though one does have to question the authenticity of a march huge swathes of which will be conducted by bus, with its leader Mr Farage most notable for his absence for much of the route.
Planning to arrive at Parliament HQ on the scheduled day of exit, 29th March - though as we know that date is rather up in the air at the minute - the question is whether anyone will spare the marchers a thought in the meanwhile. It seems unlikely progress will be followed on the BBC's red button.
Some 300,000 people tuned in on YouTube to watch April the giraffe give birth. "Online sensation" April gave birth to a male calf at Animal Adventure Park in New York on Saturday, with viewers hanging on to watch the newborn get to its feet and nurse. The chance to name the baby giraffe will now be thrown open to the public.
This is of course a jolly, feel good story; a rare glimpse into the positive side of humanity - if a breech of giraffe privacy. But one top tip re: the naming - don't get "the people" involved in anything.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020. A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it. But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people&#

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

Life on Mars, "gangster" Peppa Pig and the Loewe dinosaur trainers

So it turns out Button Moon was a lie. This reporter is of course referring to the 1980's children's TV show, which followed Mr Spoon and his family of fellow kitchen utensils, as they day-tripped off to Button Moon in a junk model space rocket. There the family would enjoy all manner of adventures before returning back to earth in time for tea. Mr Spoon made space travel look a sinch. It transpires space travel is not a sinch. NASA, alongside the European Space Agency, is planning to bring Martian rocks back to earth to see whether the planet is inhabited by aliens. However, this daring mission is not a simple matter of astronauts rocketing up to Mars, picking up a few rocks in their space buckets, and returning back to earth that same afternoon. As it turns out, the whole venture is going to be something of a palaver on the basis we are not, as yet, able to land a rocket on another planet and then take back off again. This means bringing the rocks home will take at le

A&E targets to be scrapped and the Brexit Celebration party

FROM government plans to scrap A&E targets, to Nigel Farage's for a Brexit Celebration party, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Thursday 16th January 2020. Plans to scrap the four-hour A&E waiting target have sparked a furious backlash from medical staff, as well as anyone with half a brain. Government ministers led by Health Secretary Matt Hancock have revealed proposals, which would see patients treated in a, widely up-for-interpretation, "clinically appropriate" manner, rather than sticking to the current targets that aim to see 95 per cent of people arriving at A&E in England, treated within four hours. The plans follow the revelation in recent days that hospitals across the country fell woefully under the specified target over the festive period, to 63 per cent. So the question we have to ask ourselves when we get down to the brass tacks of the matter is, do we really believe the new proposals are in the "best interests of the patient