Philippa Mingins

AS PLANET Brexit continues to pinball its way from calamity to calamity this week and the rational majority concede being sucked down a black hole could offer welcome release, This Reporter can't get over her obsession with Theresa May becoming a YouTube influencer, should the PM's current career go down the chute. Monday 8th April . Britain enters another week which could conclude with it falling off a cliff. Whether down into shark infested waters or aboard a waiting galleon piled with pirate treasures, depends on your beliefs or, more accurately, your economic status. Prime Minister Theresa May chose to kick off this most precipitous of Monday's with the release of a home movie in which she begins, in "chatty" manner: "Over the past few days, people have been asking me what on earth has been happening with Brexit". As the camera shakes and judders, she concedes her deal is doomed, rejected as it has been three times by MPs - cue weary chuckle. Bef

Monday 1st April 2019 and news-based April Fools gags are indistinguishable from regular reportage. The British are knackered having lost an hours sleep due to the clocks springing forward. None are so "knackered" however as chief government whip Julian Smith who in interview with the BBC said the current Cabinet had shown the "worst example of ill-discipline in the history of British politics" at a time when the person responsible for political discipline, is him. "I'm knackered," he reiterated. "Dealing with colleagues 24/7, sitting around the Cabinet table trying to destabilise the Prime Minister." Elsewhere, Downing Street, the aforementioned PM Theresa May wakes up from a restless night, a single platitude in her head: "oh bother", as she remembers she still hasn't delivered Brexit. Latest from the DUP runs, should Mrs May bring her deal back a thousand times (likely), they will continue to vote against it every time. Me