Skip to main content

Fury at Johnson's pick for Grenfell inquiry and Sandi Toksvig leaves the Bake Off?

FROM Boris Johnson's pick for the Grenfell inquiry raising an impartiality query, to whether presenter Sandi Toksvig is really leaving the Great British Bake Off, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Friday 17th January 2020.

One would have thought out of all the potential panellists for the Grenfell Tower inquiry, Boris Johnson would have found one without links to the cladding firm who, arguably, accelerated the tragedy, but it does appear, such is life.
The Prime Minister has picked Benita Mehra, an engineer, to assist retired judge Sir Martin Moore-Bick, who is leading the inquiry into the fatal fire, despite the fact Mehra previously ran an organisation which received a £71,000 grant from Atomic, the US conglomerate that made the cladding panels used on Grenfell.
The inquiry has already found Atomic's panels were "the principal reason why the flames spread so rapidly up the building" and survivors and the bereaved said the grant created a conflict of interest and described Mehra's appointment as "a slap in the face".
The US Ambassador to South Korea has been causing much offence, apparently, due to his facial furniture, namely a large moustache. Harry Harris, a former navy admiral, has been accused of insulting his hosts in South Korea by growing a moustache that reminds many of them of the days of Japanese colonial rule.
Mr Harris, who happens to be half -Japanese, half-American, said he believed he had been singled out because of his background and had grown the moustache simply to mark the start of his diplomatic career.
"I tried to get taller, but I couldn't grow any taller, and so I tried to get younger, but I couldn't get any younger. But I could grow a moustache, so I did that," he jested, simultaneously opening a further window onto his possible unpopularity.
Prince Harry has made his first - or should that be final - appearance since the "royal crisis", drawing the teams for the Rugby League World Cup 2021, at Buckingham Palace. He would not be drawn, however, by the gathered reporters to give comment on his decision to step back from life as a senior royal, as the press murmured amongst themselves that this may well be the last time they see him as Prince Harry.
He did however take time to speak to children from a local school who were playing rugby in the palace grounds and gave them a thumbs up, joking: "Look after the grass for me". Which, is it just This Reporter, or does this have the undertones of Captain Lawrence Oates, when he told his fellow explorers, "I may be some time".
And finally, presenter Sandi Toksvig, has announced she is quitting her role as presenter on the Great British Bake Off after three series, to focus on other projects. In a statement, she celebrated her time on the baking show, joking it was all-consuming, "as my waistline will testify".
There has been no word on whether her co-presenter, comedian Noel Fielding will continue presenting the programme without her, but it is here This Reporter would like to inject a theory. That there is an outside possibility that the diminutive Sandi is not leaving the show but this announcement is just the start of a rather convoluted opening sequence to the next edition of the programme, which will see Mr Fielding - over the course of a time lapse period - seeking out the missing Sandi.
Until he tracks her down inside a saucepan, encumbered by a rather large novel. And when Noel asks her why she has been hiding, she will explain her ruse was the only way should could make time for a spot of reading, namely Hanya Yanagihara's "A Little Life".

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Laundrettes, Brexit Beano and the Valentino throw-back mini dress

"You spin me right round, baby right round like a record, baby round round round round." Oh hello there. I'll just turn the radio down. I'm at the laundrette, washing my clothes. Because we're all going to be doing this soon. Using laundrettes that is. They are popping back up everywhere. Perhaps not so much this side of the M25 but nevertheless, this is the future when it comes to washing, according to those in the fashion know. Not perhaps as we once knew it. Carrier bags full of dirty washing self-consciously flung into big bellied washers, Dot Cotton-esque laundry assistants greeting you with a box of cheap soap suds, fag hanging out of mouth. It's all gone just that little bit chicer. Hermes have launched a Hermesmatic laundrette service complete with bright orange, Instagrammable, machines specially to launder and service their Hermes silk scarves. Other brands are following suit, with the denim brand American Eagle opening a concept store and free

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..." Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again. So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home". The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations. Try the Ophelia cocktail ring , available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats'

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

Pig stalkers, BoJo's Jet and the Zara contrast print dress

Socks off. Do you remember the childhood rhyme which runs: "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home..."? You do. Well this story is the remixed version. A man in America called the police when a 'persistent pig' followed him home from a train station, it is reported. He called the North Ridgeville Police Station in Ohio at 5.26am on Saturday claiming the pig was following him and, understandably, the officers thought he must be inebriated (the man that is, not the pig). However, on arriving at the 'scene' they found a completely sober man who was indeed being followed by a piggy stalker. One of the officers managed to 'coerce' the pig into his police car (no jokes please) and brought the pig back to the station where he was locked in one of the dog kennels. The pig has since been reunited with his owner. Time for some news headlines and today it has been announced Sweden has distributed a 'be prepared for war