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Trump's Middle East "Peace Plan" and Bisto tin savings rescued from dump

FROM Trump's "win-win" peace plan for the Middle East, to the elderly lady's life savings saved from the rubbish dump, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Wednesday 29th January 2020.

It comes to something when a reality TV star and his son-in-law draw up a peace plan for the Middle East but this is where we find ourselves, in the year 2020.
Donald Trump, who just so happens to now be American President but hit mega fame as the boss man on the US Apprentice, believes he has come up with a proposal that will end the century-long territorial conflict between Israel and Palestine.
"Ably" assisted by his son-in-law Jared Kushner, who typed up the blueprint, Trump has declared it a "win-win opportunity" for all concerned; the Israelis, the Palestines, and ultimately, brand Trump. The technical hitch being, Palestines' resistance, weighted as the plan is - even to the minds of those least impartial - heavily in favour of Trump's new buddy old pal, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu.
Meanwhile, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson has given the green light to Huawei 5G despite fears, particularly from America, that letting the Chinese communications firm infiltrate our networks could lead to the stealing of all our personal data and/or trade secrets.
Mr Johnson moved to reassure the doubters by saying there would be a cap on Huawei's involvement in the UK telecoms network to just 35 per cent and it would be banned from "core parts" and "sensitive sites".
The PM got onto the blower to Trump yesterday afternoon (Tuesday) to try and placate him, explaining "market failure" had meant there were few alternative 5G providers available, but hoped they could collaborate to develop alternatives. He is also said to have praised Trump for his peace plan.
If you too are concerned about this particular news story contact This Reporter, putting your message - of course - in code. She'll semaphore you over the address later.
Negotiations on the UK's post-Brexit relationship with the EU will begin on 3rd March, it has been revealed, as Brussels warned that didn't give much time to sort out future trading etc. and the UK was still in danger of a cliff edge departure at the end of the year.
There is good news for those for whom these most challenging of talks are nothing short of inconsequential as they can mark their clanmanship to the Brexit movement with a celebratory tea towel, mug, fridge magnet or lapel pin available to order now, but in fitting fashion - a glimpse into the future - shipment of the goodies will be delayed until the end of next week.
And finally, recycling centre workers spent two hours hunting through rubbish to find old gravy tins containing a pensioner's £20,000 life savings.
The cash was accidentally dumped at Dalmoak Recycling Centre in Dunbartonshire by the woman's family who were clearing out her home. Until she said to her son and daughter "eh up what have you done with those Bisto tins?" and the pair raced hell for leather back to the recycling centre where council workers Tony Scanlon and Kenny McAdam took on the job of finding the cash.
A stroke of luck meant one of the yard's two compactors was out of service and so bags of recycling, including the four Bisto tins in question, had been piled up in a skip waiting, and were soon seized upon by Tony and Kenny who returned them to the relieved duo. Bystanders were said to have commented that the plot line for the new Bisto advert had taken an unusual turn.

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