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Storm Ciara the Trampoline Tumbler and Trump's tan line is "fake news"

FROM weekend super storm Ciara posing danger to life, and trampolines, to Donald Trump's tan line declared "fake news", This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Monday 10th February 2020.

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas any more". Storm Ciara has wreaked a path of devastation across the UK over the weekend with hurricane-force winds and flooding posing danger to life, knocking out the power, crushing buildings and most poignantly of all, tumbling trampolines.
According to the weather report, the upheaval, of quite literal proportions, is due to last through the first half of this week with the possibility of snow. A forecast This Reporter suggests, for the few and not the many.
Snippets of the weekend destruction include Amanda Owen, a shepherd who lives in Swaledale on one of the highest and remote hill farms in England, posting footage that showed a livestock trailer being swept five miles downstream by what she described as a "flood of biblical proportions".
Part of a cafe and guest house collapsing into the river in Hawick in the Borders and residents of the Lincolnshire town of Burgh le Marsh "alarmed" when the top of a historic windmill blew off, sending pieces over the roofs of nearby homes.
Whilst at least two flying trampolines hit train tracks in Kent and Sussex, with a third trampoline reported to have been catapulted eight metres up a seven metre tree.
The UK Government has declared the Coronavirus outbreak a "serious and imminent threat to public health", a move geared, apparently, at giving the authorities additional powers to fight the spread of the disease but could just as easily be interpreted as, prepare for a drawn out and painful death.
The call out from health secretary Matt Hancock comes swift off the back of the news of a UK "super spreader" from Brighton who caught Coronavirus at a business conference in Singapore, before visiting a ski chalet in the Alpine resort area near Mont Blanc and then returning to the UK on an easyJet flight to Gatwick - infecting at least seven other people in England, France and Spain with the virus as he went.
Under Mr Hancock's new powers people with Coronavirus can now be forcibly quarantined if they pose a threat to public health.
"Parasite" was named Best Picture at the Oscars yesterday evening (Sunday) making history as the first foreign language film to do so.
Bong Joon-ho's comedy-drama about an impoverished family who infiltrate the household of a wealthier one also took best director, best original screenplay and best international film, following mounting criticism across this year's other award ceremonies, most notably the Baftas, at the lack of diversity among the nominees. War film 1917 had been tipped to triumph.
Meanwhile, Brad Pitt scooped Best Supporting Actor and got a tad political in his acceptance speech as he slipped in between thanking his parents and children, that his 45-second speech was 45 seconds more than the time afforded to John Bolton by the senate in Donald Trump's impeachment trial. He was to have stood as witness to Trump's wrong-doing - Bolton that is, not Brad Pitt though that would have been quite the twist.
And finally, when it comes to US President Donald Trump, after failing to extract him from office for misuse of power, it is back to business as usual - mocking his hair and fake tan to make ourselves feel better.
An image of a windswept Trump, which appears to show a dramatic forehead tan line through his blown-back hair has gone viral under the hashtag #orangeface. The photo was posted to an unverified Twitter account called White House Photos.
Trump did not take kindly to the image and said on Twitter, plumbing the depths of his somewhat limited oracular: "More Fake News. This was photoshopped, obviously, but the wind was strong and the hair looked good? Anything to demean!"


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