Skip to main content

Streatham Terror Attack and the World's Worst Cat

FROM a terrorist attack on Streatham High Road to the "world's worst cat" finding a home, This Reporter brings you the news headlines on Monday 3rd February 2020.

A man was shot dead by police after stabbing two people in Streatham, London on Sunday in what was swift labelled a terror attack.
Sudesh Amman, 20, had left prison just days before the attack outside Boots the Chemist on Streatham High Road, which left one passer-by initially in a life-threatening condition and another treated for minor injuries.
Amman had served part of his three year and four month sentence for the possession and distribution of extremist material but had been deemed sufficiently high risk that he was under special monitoring by police.
Indeed a notepad recovered from his home in 2018 contained a list of "life goals", top of which was "dying a martyr", and second - to the best of This Reporter's knowledge - buying a juicer.
The Baftas were held last night (Sunday) with war film 1917 the big winner, scooping awards for best film, best director for Sam Mendes, sound, special visual effects and others it would be too tedious to list here.
Joaquin Phoenix came away with the best actor award for Joker and took his opportunity under the spotlight to throw some shade at the Baftas for its alleged lack of diversity.
Quite the day for Mr Phoenix, as earlier he had joined animal equality protesters on Tower Bridge where he issued a plea for people to go vegan. The actor, who has been vegan since he was three, said the industry consumed a lot of power and resources - famous types jetting off to film locations and the like - and maintaining a vegan lifestyle was a way for him to "mitigate that".
And so it begins. Less than 24 hours after we officially exited the European Union, with Prime Minister Boris Johnson, it transpires, bonging a teeny tiny gong the size of a side plate on the stroke of 11pm, "Brexit Day" posters were pasted up on all the fire doors of a block of flats in Norwich, demanding all residents either speak the "Queen's English" or go home.
To quote direct from the poster (typos eradicated for coherence): "We are now our own country again and the Queen's English is the spoken tongue here. If you do want to speak whatever is the mother tongue of the country you came from then we suggest you return to that place and return your flat to the council so they can let British people live here..."
The incident at Winchester Tower is being investigated by police under the heading "racially aggravated".
And finally, in what can only be termed a standout piece of reverse psychology, a cat at an animal shelter in North Carolina who workers branded a "jerk" and the "world's worst cat" on social media, has found herself a home.
Perdita, or Noel as her new owners insist on calling her, known at the shelter for her stroppy demeanour, looked like she was never going to be adopted until the shelter decided to run a marketing campaign emphasising her deficiencies.
And whether it was a case of rising to the challenge or they were looking for a cat with a penchant for "lurking in corners", a couple from Tennessee fell for her hook, line and sinker.
So buoyed are they by their "clever" piece of marketing, the animal shelter is aiming to extend this method to other cats in its care, including Edgar, a rotund orange tabby, who shares an affinity for "reaching out and touching someone", and to This Reporter, sounds alarmingly like Donald Trump.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Government accused of Coronavirus cover-up and Veggie Corbyn booed at kebab awards

FROM the UK Government announcing it will only release Coronavirus data weekly, to vegetarian Jeremy Corbyn presenting an award for the best kebab, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Thursday 5th March 2020. The Government has been accused of withholding information about the spread of Coronavirus after a 70 per cent increase in confirmed cases prompted health chiefs to stop providing daily updates on the location of new infections. Instead they will be provided on a Friday in a weekly round-up. Thirty six new UK cases were announced yesterday (Wednesday) bringing the grand total to 87 people. A former director at Public Health England said the move to weekly updates should be reconsidered to allow the public to make informed decisions. In related news, the Government is putting in place contingency plans, should the virus outbreak become widespread, to close Parliament for up to three months to stop 650 potential "super spreaders". Which gives Th

Children lose sleep over climate anxiety and Boris Johnson's paternity leave

FROM young people surveyed by Newsround revealing their climate anxiety, to Boris Johnson announcing he will "almost certainly" take paternity leave, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Wednesday 4th March 2020. A survey for BBC Newsround has found that children are losing sleep over climate change and the environment. Two thousand children aged between eight and 16-years-old were given the opportunity to answer questions on climate anxiety. And the results overwhelmingly showed that most children  - four out of five - considered the problem of climate change important to them, while three out of five were worried about the impact climate change would have on them when they're older. One in five have even had a bad dream about it. But when asked about the action being taken by grown-ups to tackle the problem, two in five don't trust adults to tackle the challenges and nearly two-thirds say leaders aren't listening enough to young people&#

Meghan and Harry "grin in the rain" and the Kimono-wearing fox killer

FROM Meghan and Harry making their first appearance in the UK together since Megxit, to the kimono-wearing fox killer who appears to have been cleared of all crimes, these are the news headlines according to This Reporter on Friday 6th March 2020. Yes that's right, This Reporter is declaring this particular news gathering outlet a Coronavirus free zone as we kick off today's headlines with the news Meghan and Harry, otherwise known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, have returned to the UK and had their photograph taken together, under an umbrella, in the rain. The couple were in town - London specifically - as they wind up their official duties before bowing out of royal life forever, with last night's paparazzi extravaganza related to their attendance at the Endeavour Film awards. With what we can only assume were fixed grins on their faces as they braved the weather, and the fact these moments under the media spotlight, were exactly what they were talking about when

Mail Bombs, Ross from Friends and the Dr Marten Boots

FROM the suspected bombs sent out to Trump's critics and Ross from Friends in the frame with Blackpool police, to the resurgence of picket line favourite - the Dr Marten boot, welcome to This Reporter's daily news and style round-up. In the words of many a newspaper columnist, "the rhetoric became real" yesterday (Wednesday) as it emerged suspected explosives had been sent to a host of prominent Donald Trump critics including former President Barack Obama and Democrat presidential nominee Hilary Clinton. The "bombs" were intercepted by the US Secret Service. On the same day the CNN studios in New York were evacuated after a "live explosive device" was found in its mail room. New York police commissioner James O-Neill said the targets may have been selected due to their opposition to Trump. And Trump's constant rhetoric of violence towards his opponents - including most recently praising the "slam-dunking" of a Guardian journalist

Cocktail rings, the sexist book prize and feel good children's literature

"Thundercats are on the move, Thundercats are loose..." Hello and welcome to the past where suit-clad dinosaurs roam the earth, sexism reigns supreme and women are castigated for stating the bleedin' obvious. There is a silver lining, of sorts. We get to wear cocktail rings again. So first to the good news, and as this reporter was saying, cocktail rings are making a comeback, big time. The fashion pack has declared an end to minimalist jewellery and instead the mantra is very much "go big or go home". The rings, which usually feature a colourful gem like an emerald, have been given a mighty great boost in popularity again since the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, wore Princess Diana's Aquamarine cocktail ring to her evening wedding celebrations. Try the Ophelia cocktail ring , available from Aspinal, for size. But whatever your choice, do ensure the gem is sufficiently gargantuan that its light shines as brightly as the ruby in the Thundercats'